Written by Judith Rich Harris.
Source: Introduction to Psychology book. Authors — R.L. Atkinson, R.S. Atkinson, E.E. Smith, D.J. Boehm, S. Nolen-Hoeksema. Under the general editorship of V.P. Zinchenko. 15th international edition, St. Petersburg, Prime Eurosign, 2007.
Article from chapter 3. Mental development
Your parents took good care of you when you were little. They taught you a lot. They occupy a significant place in your childhood memories. All this is true, but your parents may not have left a permanent imprint on your personality, intelligence, and behavior in their absence.
It is hard to believe? Try to put aside preconceptions for a moment and weigh the facts. Consider, for example, the studies discussed in this textbook, designed to separate the influence of genes from the influence of the home environment. These studies show that, barring similarities caused by genes, two people raised in the same household are not much more alike than two people selected at random from the same population. Almost all similarities between siblings who grew up together are due to common genes. Stepbrothers or sisters are no more alike than people who grew up in different homes. On average, an adopted child raised by nice parents is no more pleasant than a child raised by grouches, and a child whose parents love to read books is no smarter than one whose parents prefer to watch soap operas.
Because these results are inconsistent with popular theories of child development, many psychologists ignore them or try to explain at least part of them. But results that do not agree with theory accumulate (Harris, 1995, 1998). A recent study showed that children who spent most of their first 3 years of life in a nursery do not differ in behavior and adjustment from children who spent this time at home (NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 1998). Children who must compete with their siblings for parental attention are no different in character from only children (Falbo & Polit, 1986). The behavior of boys and girls is as different today as it was a generation ago, even though today’s parents try to raise their sons and daughters in the same way (Serbin, Powlishta & Gulko, 1993). Children who speak Korean or Polish at home and speak English with their peers grow up as English-speaking people. The language taught by the parents takes precedence over the language taught outside the home, and the children speak it without an accent (Harris, 1998).
What can be said about the evidence that derelict parents are more likely to have dysfunctional offspring, and that children raised in a loving atmosphere are likely to grow up to be better people than children who have been abused? The fact is that these data were obtained in studies where it was not possible to separate genetic influences from environmental influences and causes from consequences. What causes children’s problems: the unfavorable environment created by bad parents, or the personality characteristics inherited from them? Does parental love lead to the development of good character, or does a child’s good character cause parental love? Based on the results of studies using improved methods, it can be concluded that the problems were, at least in part, due to heredity and that the good character of the child evoked parental love (Plomin, Owen & McGuffin, 1994; Reiss, 1997).
Undoubtedly, parents influence the behavior of their children at home, and this is another source of confusion for the unbiased scientist. Is children’s behavior at home a good indicator of how they will behave in the classroom or on the playground? When psychologists find that children’s behavior differs in different social contexts, they somehow usually assume that behavior in the presence of parents is more important or more stable than in other places. A boy who hurts himself at home sobs sympathetically, but he learns not to cry in a similar situation on the playground and rarely cries as an adult. A girl who obeys her older sister at home will no more obey her peers than her sister. Children learn to behave differently at home and outside the home, and it is the behavior outside the home that they take with them into adulthood. This makes sense since they are not going to spend their adult lives in their parents’ house.
The notion that children are itching to grow up fast and that they view their world as a pale imitation of the world of adults is «adult-centric.» The goal of a child is not to be like mother or father, but to be a successful child. Children must learn to live outside the home, in a world with different rules. Children are not obedient executors of the will of their parents.
The influence of parents is undeniable
The development of skills, values, and social behaviors that increase a child’s ability to adapt to the society in which he grows up requires a harmonious combination of relatively independent qualities. The most important of these are the hereditary characteristics of temperament, nationality, class and religion of the child’s family, relationships with peers, historical era and, of course, the behavior and character of the parents. See →