Article written by Jerome Kagan, Harvard University.
Source: Introduction to Psychology book. Authors — R.L. Atkinson, R.S. Atkinson, E.E. Smith, D.J. Boehm, S. Nolen-Hoeksema. Under the general editorship of V.P. Zinchenko. 15th international edition, St. Petersburg, Prime Eurosign, 2007.
Article from chapter 3. Mental development
The development of skills, values, and social behaviors that increase a child’s ability to adapt to the society in which he grows up requires a harmonious combination of relatively independent qualities. The most important of these are the hereditary characteristics of temperament, nationality, class and religion of the child’s family, relationships with peers, historical era and, of course, the behavior and character of the parents.
The influence of parents on the child is manifested in two forms. The most obvious is the actions of parents in relation to the child. Parents who regularly talk and read to their children tend to have children with larger vocabulary, higher intelligence, and better grades in school (Gottfried, Fleming & Gottfried, 1998; Ninio, 1980). Parents who justify their demands for obedience tend to have better-mannered children (Baumrind, 1967). The importance of the family can be seen from the results of a careful study conducted by a group of scientists of more than 1000 children from 10 cities in the United States. Some of these children grew up at home, while others attended kindergartens for varying amounts of time. The most important finding of the study is that the family had the most important influence on the personality and character of 3-year-old children (NICHD Early Child Care Research Network, 1998). One of the most important examples of the importance of parental behavior is the fact that children orphaned and homeless by war, when adopted, were able to develop intellectual and social skills that could not be developed in time due to early deprivation ( Rathbun, DiVirglio & Waldfogel, 1958).
Children are influenced by the qualities of their parents. Children draw conclusions about themselves, often incorrectly, believing that because they are the biological offspring of their father and mother, they share some of the traits of their parents. This emotionally colored belief is called identification and is the basis of national pride and loyalty to ethnic and religious groups. Thus, if one of the parents is judged by the child as gentle, fair, and talented, the child believes that he probably also possesses one or more of these desirable traits, and, as a result, feels more confident than he should, given the facts. On the contrary, a child who believes that one of the parents rejects him, is unjustifiably cruel or untalented, feels shame, because he believes that he himself possesses some of these undesirable qualities (Kagan, 1998).
The latter position is confirmed by the fact that all children are upset if someone criticizes their family. The response of intense anxiety or anger is caused by the fact that children unconsciously believe that any criticism of their parents applies to themselves. Harris’ argument in The Nurture Assumption that parental influence on children’s personality and character is minimal and that peer influence plays a major role is refuted by two sets of facts. Firstly, the behavior and character of 6-year-old children who grew up in different cultures, or children of different historical eras, are very different, although just under the age of 5-6 years, the influence of peers is small. Puritan children living in New England in the XNUMXth century were more obedient than modern children living in Boston because of the influence of parental behavior on them. Second, children choose friends based on similarities in values and interests. A child who values schoolwork highly will choose friends with similar interests. If such a child becomes a successful scientist, it is illogical to believe that this was due to the influence of friends, since he chose them for himself.
It is difficult to find a belief shared by all societies, both ancient and modern. However, I do not know of any culture in which it would be believed that parents do not have a significant influence on the psyche of the child. This level of agreement implies that we may be dealing with a universal truth. Claiming that parents’ influence on children is small, both in terms of scientific facts and in terms of everyday parenting experiences, is a bit like claiming on a foggy September morning that all the trees are gone because we can’t see them.
Introduction to psychology. Consciousness
Are you awake or asleep while reading these words? Hardly anyone will be confused by this question. Everyone knows the difference between the normal state of being awake and the feeling of sleep. We are familiar with other states of consciousness, including those caused by alcohol and marijuana. See →