“The wife is not a dishwasher!” – the advertisement tells us, and in real life she not only washes all the dishes, but also cleans, cooks, ironing … It’s time to remind my husband that you are not a housekeeper and you need help.
The times when a woman did nothing but housework are over. Now, of course, there are housewives, but most wives still work on an equal basis with men. Despite the fact that the woman still has all the responsibilities of the house and raising children. A man after a hard day is resting on the couch, but a woman cannot afford this: when else to do the house, if not after work?
There are not so many husbands who help their wives, about 30%. Such indifference does not always speak about the egoism of men, but about upbringing and the norms laid down in it that existed in the family of his parents. Therefore, do not expect that he will begin to help you, it is better to offer him to distribute responsibilities around the house, and the sooner you do this, the better.
Cooking
Men are known to be the best cooks. And if your spouse likes to cook, give him the opportunity. Say that you are tired and his help will come in handy. Ask for help in butchering the meat (who has to do this, if not the stronger sex), peel vegetables. Offer to cook dinner together – this will work out faster, and during this time you can discuss the past day.
Cleaning
Not every husband will take up cleaning the house or washing the dishes. But a clean house is not the one where they clean, but the one where they don’t litter. Ask your husband to be more careful: do not throw things around, eat in the kitchen at the table, not on the couch, do not throw wrappers anywhere, take dirty dishes to the sink. But the husband needs to be involved in the general cleaning – removing curtains, moving furniture – this is definitely not a woman’s job.
Buying products
Lugging huge bags of provisions is not a woman’s face. There must be one miner. Agree that on the weekend you will buy groceries together for a week, or have your husband visit stores and markets himself and buy everything you need.
Care of children
Agree on time for the husband to spend with the children. For example, on weekends, it will be easy for a spouse to take the kids and go with them to the park, while mom takes a break from household chores and devotes time to herself. He can also take the children to school, and you can pick them up if the work schedule allows you.
But do not overdo it in the distribution of the load, do not demand more from your husband, if he honestly does his share of the housework. And do not forget to praise your spouse, tell him that his help is important to you. Over time, he himself will begin to lend you a helping hand.
You try too hard
Often women themselves make housekeepers out of themselves, since they take on all the responsibilities of the house on their fragile shoulders. The “good wife” complex appears in youth, when energy is in full swing and household chores do not take much energy. But when this routine work lasts for years, it becomes a burden, and with the advent of children, it can even lead to everyday fatigue.
The “good wife” complex appears in youth, when energy is in full swing and household chores do not take much energy
You are not a chef
It is never too late to help yourself. Start simple and don’t overwhelm yourself with the constant preparation of different dishes. Let it sometimes be high-quality semi-finished products. Or go for easy recipes, as baked duck can be served on weekends too. And why not sometimes order delicious food from the restaurant.
Rest is more important than cleaning
Learn to love yourself. You don’t need to grab a rag when you see dust on the floor. Exhale and assess your physical capabilities correctly. If you feel tired, postpone cleaning, because, other than annoyance, cleaning will not bring any sense of satisfaction. If you still need to tidy up the housing, ask your husband for help. The main thing is to learn to talk to your husband about your problems. Otherwise, he will get used to the fact that you never get tired.
You must firmly understand for yourself that a man is not obliged to delve into the intricacies of household chores, he may not know at what temperature to wash clothes or what to put in borscht for cabbage. He doesn’t have to help you, just because he is your husband. To believe that in a pair someone owes someone is completely wrong. You need to learn how to achieve what you want not with reproaches and scandals, but with family advice and agreements.
Maria Nedbailova, Anna Tok