What can change the quality of our life? Why do we behave this way and not otherwise? This is a lecture by psychologist Anthony Robbins, who is often called the «Carnegie of the XNUMXst century.»
“For the past 30 years, I have been practically obsessed with these questions. I look at life and see two lessons in it. There is a «science of achievement», which lies in the fact that everything we do can be brought to certain heights. Make the invisible visible, make your dreams come true. The second life lesson, and not everyone can learn it, is life satisfaction.
Has it ever happened that you could not achieve something very important to you? What is the common cause of failure? “There was no money/time/technologies/a good manager…” And if you are given everything that is lacking now – money, a good background, education, love? A computer — not for $100, but the best — and someone will always be there for you to love and support you? How will it change your life? Often people — and you know them — despite all this love, money and good background, spend their lives only getting in and out of rehab clinics. And then you meet someone who has experienced tremendous pain, all kinds of humiliation — physical, moral — and you see that he has become a worthy member of society. That happens; not always, but often. So the question we need to ask ourselves is what is it? What shapes us?
Our culture has ingrained the idea that we are our past, biography determines destiny. That is, the past is equated with the future, and of course it is, if you still remain in it …
But you can know something with your mind, understand a lot, and do nothing. So let us remind ourselves that the highest power, the highest power, is the decision. You really may not have the money/time/technology, but that’s not the determining factor. If you’re creative enough, you can reach anyone, anytime. Where do resources come from?
We’ve said before that our decisions determine our destiny. Right now, in this very place, you must decide where you will concentrate your forces from now on. The moment you decide to focus on something, you yourself must give it meaning. What feelings does your life situation give rise to in you? «Is this the beginning» or «Is this the end?» “Is God punishing me in this situation or rewarding me?” Or «is it just a die roll?» These feelings, this roadmap, shape how we will act. Think about your life. What decisions have shaped it? If you had decided then — sometime — otherwise, would your life be different now? If the geniuses at Google decided to sell their business the way they wanted to at the beginning, how would that change our culture? What would you do if you were Lance Armstrong, who was diagnosed with testicular cancer — and this is generally unpleasant for a man, and especially if you are a racing cyclist? He did what not everyone would do. Decided to undergo a new, not yet fully tested aggressive chemotherapy and then went to the Tour de France and was there first. Someone thinks: in order to satisfy my needs, you need to destroy the world. I live in a gangster neighborhood and I know that the easiest way to become important when you have no education, no money, no love is to get a gun. Will they listen to me after this? Yes, and very carefully. Therefore, violence will not disappear until human nature is changed. But the other believes that in order to satisfy his needs, you need to build something, give love.
In my own life, I experienced this when I was 11 years old. Thanksgiving, we have no money, no food — we are not yet starving, but our father screwed up a lot, and my mother is just explaining to him how seriously he was guilty. And then someone knocked on the door and left a basket of food on the threshold. My father made a decision at that moment. I know what it was in general terms. First thought: «This is charity.» Second: What does this mean? That I’m worth nothing.» Third: What should I do? Leave my family.» And so he did. It was one of the most bitter moments of my life. I, of course, was there at the time too. My three thoughts set a different path for me. At first, I thought, “Food has arrived!” Not a bad idea, as you can see. The second — and now it has changed my life, shaped me as a person: “This is someone’s gift, I don’t even know who made it. And my father always told me: no one cares! And then suddenly someone I don’t even know, without asking for anything in return, just treated our family.” And then I decided that since strangers take care of me and my family, I also take care of them. When I turned 17, I saved enough money for Thanksgiving dinner for two families. A year later there were 4 families. I didn’t tell anyone about what I was doing. A year later 8. Not for a plus sign. I attracted friends and created a company, then there were 11 companies, and I founded a fund. Now, 18 years later, I can tell you with some pride that last year (2005) through our foundation, 2 million people in 35 countries were fed during the holidays alone. People are happy to help others as soon as there is an opportunity to experience it for themselves, to do it themselves, and not just talk about it.”
Watch Anthony Robbins’ lecture «Why we do what we do» with over 13 million views on TED.com
Anthony Robbins, American psychologist and entrepreneur, author of the bestselling books Awaken the Giant Within (Medley, 2008), The Book of Self-Power (Medley, 2010). Forbes magazine placed him in the list of «100 Most Influential Celebrities».