Set the rules well at the start
During the job interview, it is better to be very clear on certain points: together define the amount of salary, the dates of leave, the logistics in the event of a strike or illness, but also the course of a typical day ( outing, meal, nap, etc.) Do not hesitate to make a list of the points to be addressed. If it is a domestic worker, tell her clearly if she has the right to use the phone, to help herself in the refrigerator for her meals, if she can bring a third person to your house, etc. . With a childminder, clarify what she needs (stroller, diapers, meals, bed, etc.) and her working hours. The material contract is coupled with a moral contract: explain to the nanny what you expect from her in terms of education. In short, if you want her to get your child to say “thank you,” say so clearly.
Avoid misunderstandings
By chatting every day with the nanny. It is necessary to take the time to do this because, although you may have addressed the main points, there will always be aspects of your child’s life to discuss day by day: progress, appetite, behavior, minor illnesses, tastes, etc. etc. This is what will allow her to feel a real continuity between her family life and her daily life with the nanny.
By taking the problems head-on. When a concern arises, bring it up right away and try to find a way to solve it together. Choose a time when she is quieter (during nap time or at the end of the day, for example) and when your child is ‘if possible’ away. Start by talking to her about what’s going on, and then let her know how unhappy you are with the issue. Listen to what she has to say to you, ask her why she did this, and calmly but firmly explain to her why you disagree.
Trying to understand her. After this discussion, you will see that it is usually just a misunderstanding or a lack of motivation on the part of your nanny. Remember that she has a life outside of your child’s and that she can also have small temporary problems, which is why it is important to create a certain conviviality between you. Show her that you care about her and her family, and that you understand her.
Do some work on yourself
You can’t trust him. Your anxiety is legitimate, because trust cannot be acquired overnight. Rest assured by telling yourself that you chose her because she met your criteria and made a good impression on you. If she also has children, this is one more reason to trust her experience and her story. On the other hand, you don’t have an infused science, and your child may also have to learn from his nanny.
You worry that your baby will become more attached to her than to you. Rather, rejoice that your nanny, too, is able to bond with your child lovingly. Is he happy to see her every morning? So much the better ! And this relationship will never replace the one that exists between you and your child. Indeed, if the child often considers his nanny as a second mother, rest assured, he knows perfectly who his mother is.
You beat yourself up every time you let it. If after several weeks, letting your child still breaks your heart, why not bring in a third party, his father, for example, who will play down the situation? In all cases, take the guilt off. The more confident and peaceful your baby will feel, the more he will feel entitled to be happy in your absence.