Grudge is a lasting memory marked by bitterness and aggression that we keep from an offense or a prejudice and which is accompanied by a desire for revenge.

It is often confused with resentment, which is a tenacious memory imbued with bitterness and sadness, which one keeps following a disillusion, an injustice, a mishap.

To clearly differentiate the 2 emotions, here are 4 examples of use:

– She has a certain grudge against her parents who did not allow her to go to study abroad.

– All her actions were influenced by the resentment she harbored for her attackers.

– She feels a lot of resentment for this injustice she suffered when she was young.

– Old age had imbued him with a resentment against youth.

Humanistic psychologist Michelle Larivey notes that resentment, versus resentment, contains “ in addition to sadness, even if it is sometimes not very apparent, because anger serves as a screen “. Resentment arises mostly from prejudice or disillusion, while resentment arises from prejudice.

Resentment is most often accompanied by a desire for revenge.

Situations leading to the development of a grudge are very culturally dependent. For example, psychology professor Michele Gelfand has shown that Americans are more likely to hold a grudge when their rights are violated, while Koreans harbor more grudges when their honor and sense of duty are threatened. He adds that it is anger that would lead to the desire for revenge in individualistic societies, and shame in more collectivist societies.

Psychologist Kevin Carlsmith highlighted the cathartic goal of a desire for revenge, but showed in a 2008 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, that the exact opposite is happening. People who do not satisfy their desire for revenge report feelings of well-being in everyday life that are greater than those who take action. « Rather than allowing it to move on, revenge reopens the wound He said. The question is, why should we be so obsessed with the idea of ​​revenge if it is not in our favor? According to psychologist Ernst Fehr, it is an individual sacrifice for the good of the community: it is the way to preserve the functioning of societies.

Resentful tendencies are closely linked to two social attitudes: authoritarianism and the desire for social domination. Ian McKee, a sociologist at the University of Adelaide, states in an article published in 2008 that “ individuals who hold grudges tend to be those motivated by power, authority and status. They don’t want to lose face ».

The resentful people also tend to forgive less, to be less benevolent and to adhere less to certain universal values ​​according to the same author.