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1 euros: a change of life!
And then, not so long ago, I finally got a job, with a permanent contract! A miracle after so much research. I didn’t believe it anymore… It changed our life. Today I have 1 euros per month and it’s Peru! As if I had won the lottery! When you have lived together for a long time with 100-500 euros per month, you can see the difference… My eldest son dreamed of a computer: all his friends had one. So when I was sure I would keep my job, I offered her one, which I paid in three installments with free credit. If you had seen his joy, it was magnificent! He rushed into my arms and hugged me to his heart, saying: “Thank you, my dear little mother”. It suddenly wiped out all those years when we had to deprive ourselves so much. The little one had the garage he dreamed of… And I too was spoiled: I realized a very stupid, very simple dream. I bought myself a warm coat… Because when you have no money, you are cold! You can’t afford quality clothes. I was so frozen in winter, especially when I was standing in line at the Restaurant du Cœur in my very light parka I bought 600 euros at the market. During this period, I was cold everywhere, in my body, in my head… And then, the icing on the cake: last summer, for the first time in a very long time, we went on vacation, to Brittany with my committee. business. We went to the beach, we had beautiful walks, we were even able to afford two inexpensive little restaurants to eat mussels. Pure happiness … A luxury that we had not been allowed for years. I had a free spirit at last, and my children were having fun. I felt revived. They looked good, were tanned. We were independent without needing to ask for help. So, for the first time in a long time, I said to myself: “We are out of the woods …”
Of course, I do not ride gold, but I have a job, I have found a place in society. My children are proud of me. I regained a dignity that I felt I had lost. My dream today: get my driving license and pay for a small car. Well, I don’t have the means yet, but I put aside a little bit of money each month to make it happen. My sons are very hungry for a bicycle. And there I think that next Christmas, Father Christmas, this time, will be generous and will make their dream come true …
“I wanted them to have a happy childhood”
At home, we never ate fresh produce, always canned food, breaded fish, inexpensive dry cakes. I will always remember my little boy, the youngest, stopping in front of the bakers’ windows and staring wide-eyed at the exposed cakes, the strawberry pies, the dark forests, as if he saw the prettiest things in the world. earth… He would say to me: “Mum, this must be very, very good”, but he did not ask for any. My children understood that some things were not for them. But they were kids anyway: so when I took them to the park, they couldn’t help but ask for ice cream, a waffle. It was impossible to always say no to them. So I gave in and they were happy as hell. It was the party! Afterwards, of course, I had to manage with my budget. At that time, I was calculating everything to the nearest euro …
I had the feeling that we were abandoned by the whole earth!
I was looking for a job, but could not find any… I felt like I was fighting against walls and that I was being let inexorably sink. My children, that was my top priority: I wanted them to have a happy and normal childhood, even if we had nothing at all… So, I tried to be a smiling mom, who sang songs, told stories. at bedtime. It was sometimes hard not to show them my anxiety, but I don’t think I was doing it too badly. I wanted them to have a cheerful, smiling mom to keep smiling. This did not prevent me from explaining to them, when they asked me questions, that we did not have a lot of money, but that the day when Mum found a job, it would work out. Without realizing it, my children helped me to live, to survive in these difficult times. It was for them that I fought and kept my head above the water. I wanted them to have a future. This is what guided me in all my steps so as not to sink. For their clothes, I bought at the markets and flea markets, the crumb fairs in my neighborhood. I rummaged around and ended up finding clothes for 1-2 euros. For the rest, I was waiting for the sales. Fortunately, they were small and did not ask for brands, like college kids … The phone, they cut me off for three years. I was just entitled to an on-call line (I received calls, but I could not give them). For me it was very important because I wanted to be able to be called by the school if something happened. When I had a phone call to make, I would go to the social center where I was allowed to phone for important things. Otherwise, I called from my mother, a neighbor …
Christmas, the most difficult time
The hardest part was at the time of Christmas and New Year celebrations… Everywhere, garlands, windows stuffed with food, toys more wonderful than each other… My children looked at it all with a wonder air. Everywhere, there were things that made them want and that were not accessible to them by force of circumstance. “Mum, Father Christmas, he’s going to bring me the fire engine, the big garage, and this and that,” they told me excitedly. I explained to them then that Santa Claus had to take care of all the children in the world and that he could not perhaps bring them what they asked for but that it is certain, he would not forget them… Fortunately, they were super nice and had to feel that you shouldn’t push too hard. Besides, I always managed to ensure that they had small gifts and a Christmas tree that I negotiated very cheaply at the end of the market… To decorate the tree, I did a lot of things myself with the means at hand. And we still had lovely moments together. For Christmas dinner, it was rather limited … But hey, I arranged for them to eat something good and inexpensive. Luckily, little ones love fries, even on Christmas Eve! One day, however, I did something that I thought I could never do… I stole! It was the first time in my life. For a New Year’s meal where I had nothing, only cans of sardines and pasta, I couldn’t resist: I grabbed some smoked salmon in a store. My oldest son had tasted it once and he loved it. And I, of course, couldn’t give him any. When I saw his eyes shining at the sight of the salmon on his plate, I was rewarded with the enormous fear I had of flying and the bad conscience I had inside. However, I never did it again and I always told my sons that it is important not to steal!
Living together with 500-600 euros
I found myself alone raising my children who were small. At the time, I was a carer. But very quickly, I lost my job, and the difficult things really started. We had very little money to live on and I had to juggle all the time to pay the bills, the rent, the food. I spent my time asking for help from social services, which was not easy for me, who had always been an employee and independent. The hardest part was when I had to go to the Restaurant du Cœur. After all the bills were paid, I didn’t have enough money to do my shopping. I see myself again with my two little ones, one in the stroller and the other I was holding by the hand as best I could, queuing in the cold to receive my parcel of food. It was heartbreaking for me to come to this. But how would one do otherwise ? My family also had great difficulties, even though my mother was trying the best. I was ashamed to go to the Restau du Cœur and I was always afraid to meet someone I knew, to reveal my distress in the eyes of the world. And then, one day, I saw a neighbor standing in line not far from me. He looked as embarrassed as I did… Poverty gives the impression of being excluded from the world. We feel different. You get the feeling that others are looking at you askance. I wanted to give the image of a “normal” family, without history. I wished no one was aware of my situation. I was angry with myself for not being able to offer pretty things to my children.