Depression is a disease that needs to be treated with the participation of a specialist. To make this journey a little easier for yourself, look at the negative attitudes that accompany your life from a different angle.
Unfortunately, sometimes the prerequisites for future mental health problems are laid in childhood. The child breaks a cup or spills sugar, throws a candy wrapper or drops a mitten, and the father or mother starts shouting at him: “Why did you do this?” As if he did it on purpose, with intent, out of spite.
Then, without waiting for an answer, the parents themselves give an explanation: “You behave this way because you never listen to me!”, “You annoy me on purpose!”, “You always do this because you are stupid!”, and the child accepts it , believes that it is.
“In a healthy family environment, the child understands that each situation can be viewed from different angles, and learning and gaining experience can also be done in different ways,” explains clinical psychologist Holly Chuan.
Even if he tries to obey his parents, he needs time to change his usual behavior. Perhaps the child simply misunderstood the words of dad or mom and he needs to give explanations in a different form.
“Unfortunately, if unhealthy criticism from parents becomes the norm, the child may develop a “depressive style” of interpreting events as they grow older. It seems to him that he cannot change anything and his future does not depend on him in any way, ”explains Holly Chuan.
Here are 5 examples of unhealthy beliefs that can lead to depression. Let’s see if we can replace them with more optimistic, healthy, and productive ideas about ourselves, others, and the world around us.
Friendship and personal life. “I can’t build relationships. There is something wrong with me” can be replaced with: “I had “friends” or partners who treated me badly, but I learned my lesson and try to choose more carefully who to be friends with or date. Soon I will overcome loneliness, because I will learn to open up only to those who deserve it.
Parents. “My relationship with my parents will never change” can be replaced with: “It seems that the relationship with my parents is hopelessly damaged, but this is not necessarily the case. I work with a psychotherapist and I am learning to communicate with them in a new way. Changes in me will definitely affect my family.”
Job. “It’s my own fault that I continue to work where my work and achievements are not appreciated at all” can be replaced with: “I’m looking for a new job, but I haven’t found it yet, I see that here the situation is gradually changing for the better. Colleagues begin to understand how their mistakes affect me. It is still difficult for me to defend my interests, but I am learning.”
Career. “What a fool I am that I chose this specialty! Now I have no idea what I want to do, and all my friends overtook me a long time ago ”can be replaced with:“ I don’t know what I want to do yet, but you can change your specialty even at my age.
I can try different options and see what works for me. Yes, I feel like I’m lagging behind others, but my life experience has made me who I am and has helped me develop important qualities that I can apply in any business that I choose for myself.
Depressed mood. “Depression will never end!” can be replaced with: “Yes, it’s hard to imagine that these experiences will ever pass, but I know for sure that over time they will no longer cause such severe pain. Yes, it’s hard for me now, but circumstances inevitably change. Things may not turn out the way I expect, but I believe that nothing in life is constant – and this also applies to my mood.
“By working on yourself, you can get rid of the “depressive style of interpretation” and gradually replace unhealthy beliefs with others filled with compassion and self-love,” says Holly Chuan.