Asia from Bielsko-Biała gave birth to Wiktoria 12 years ago. The midwives didn’t know how to tell her that her daughter had Down’s syndrome. In the hospital she heard: “If you don’t want to take your daughter home, you can leave her here. Many parents do that ».
- Asia: «It was love at first sight. The midwife put my daughter on my stomach. And as soon as the little one looked at me with her beautiful, navy blue eyes, she became my whole world »
- «It was my husband, David, who explained to me: we can do it. That Wiki probably has Down’s syndrome, but it doesn’t change anything between us, that he loves us very much. He did not leave me in difficult times, although it often happens that men cannot stand the pressure due to the disability of their own children »
- Old ladies do not stop at impertinent glances and comment: “But the misfortune has befallen you”, “Oh, how poor you are”, “You have probably sinned that such a child was born to you”
- When our son Dominik witnesses unpleasant situations for us, he emphatically says: “Please admire her. This is my sister Victoria! »
Asia from Bielsko-Biała was pregnant very well. Together with her husband, Dawid, they did not think too much about whether they would have a son or a daughter. Although everyone in the family was convinced that she would give birth to a boy. Because Asia looked very nice, and there is such a superstition that when a woman carries a girl in her womb, she takes away all her beauty. – By the shape of the belly, everyone also predicted that there would be a son – recalls the 35-year-old. – We laughed a bit about it, but somehow we started to get used to the thought that we were going to have a son. So future parents made up names for him. Asi liked Flip, and her husband teased that he would not allow the child to be baptized like that. – He was telling me in a joke, but firmly: «No Philip, there is already one in my family, he has curly hair. And our son will not have any curls »- says Asia.
At the time of childbirth, when the midwife announced that a girl was coming into the world, David was on the seventh heaven. Maybe because the child will not be Philip for sure.
Victoria like a victory
– It was love at first sight – Asia is moved. – The midwife put my daughter on my stomach. And as soon as the little one looked at me with her beautiful, navy blue eyes, she became my whole world – she recreates the first moments after giving birth. Then it got weird and although Asia was in the postpartum euphoria, she noticed that the nurses were exchanging comments in a whisper. Everything happened in a flash.
– One of them said: ‘Maybe we have Down’s syndrome here.’ The second one quickly asked us how we would name the baby, as if she wanted to drown out the first information. The husband, without hesitation, said: «Wiktoria. As a sign of victory »recalls the woman. – Today I suppose that these ladies did not know how to deal with parents who had just been born with a handicapped child.
In the delivery room, Asia received bits and pieces of nurses’ conversations, which, next to the young girl, determined the parameters of the newborn. About the “monkey’s furrow” for example, or that chromosomal tests will have to be done. – Everything happened very quickly. Wiktoria turned blue and was immediately taken to the incubator, we were separated. Later it turned out that the daughter had a serious heart defect. And this “monkey furrow” is the vertical line in the palm of your hand, characteristic of people with Down’s syndrome.
You can leave her at the hospital
– The fact that my child may have Down syndrome somehow did not impress me much. I was happy because I had a baby. But at the same time, I prayed that nothing would happen to the baby – says Asia, who was 23 years old at the time of childbirth. – Meanwhile, my husband, who had to go to work earlier, returned to the hospital. He was crying terribly.
Asia remembers David trying to make her realize that their Victoria would not be like the other children. – He thought that I was completely unaware that the hardships of childbirth disturbed my vision and understanding of what was happening around me. He explained that Wiki probably has Down’s syndrome, but it won’t change us that he loves us very much. But the worst was ahead of us. We heard from the doctors: “If you don’t want to take your daughter home, you can leave her here. Many parents do that ». Young parents experienced a shock.
We learned Down’s syndrome ourselves. – Terrible in those days, and after all, I gave birth only 12 years ago, was that no doctor could give us any instructions, lead us through the first months of Wiki life – recalls Asia.
Young parents were doomed to each other. So they read various internet forums, for example, “Zakątek 21” – parents, who had a child like Asia and Dawida, banded together and created such a place.
– From there, we found out which doctors we should go to. Mr. Jarek, the father of a son with Down’s syndrome, who runs the website «zastoldowna.info», also helped us a lot. We got to know him personally, he directed us: what we should pay attention to, he recommended doctors and physiotherapists. He suggested whether and what we have Wiki to give supplements to increase immunity – Asia is enumerating – Fortunately, we found a pediatrician who took care of us. Although our daughter was the first child in her practice with this disease. She studied Down’s syndrome with us.
Asia was most proud that she was able to breastfeed the baby. She very much did not want her daughter to be fed artificial milk. Because children with damaged chromosome 21 cannot suckle and that they can only dream about breastfeeding – the young mother heard from doctors while still in the hospital where she gave birth.
The family has gone mad
The family received the news that Wiki is a child with Down syndrome without much emotion. Or maybe they just didn’t show it to us? I had great support from them. They never let me know that my daughter was sick. My sister and her boyfriend, now her husband, immediately bought a camera, they recorded my daughter on every occasion. Together, we enjoyed each new achievement in the development of the little one, says Asia.
The woman is also proud of her husband. – He did not leave me in difficult times, although it sometimes happens that men cannot stand the tension due to the disability of their own children. David is very responsible: he works hard as a sales representative. In order to have additional competences up his sleeve, he has recently completed a difficult field of technical studies – he proudly says. Asia graduated from the Faculty of Law and Administration, but had to quit her professional career. – I had to devote myself to Victoria – he says shortly.
A heart to improve
When Wiktoria was six months old, she had to undergo a very serious operation as it turned out that she suffered from a very serious defect, called CAVAC. The disease consists of cavities in the septum of the heart that are characteristic of children with Down syndrome.
– The little girl also had a subarachnoid cerebral hemorrhage unfortunately. This is probably why she doesn’t speak, she walks only supported by others. Every day we carry her on a special stroller – reports the mother.
Asia claims that her daughter is a very cheerful, laughing girl. Who also has a bad temper sometimes. And then she wants to be alone in her room. – Like every teenager – a woman laughs – As Wiki speaks only single words, it communicates with us with gestures and with the use of special plates. A teacher, speech therapist and psychologist come three times a week. He stimulates her, they play together, practice speaking, and play instruments. Wiki loves it. We go with her to the “Filli” Rehabilitation Center for additional, paid rehabilitation, as well as dog therapy, hand therapy and sensory integration. Mom also emphasizes that her daughter can touch everyone’s heart. – At the beginning, the rehabilitator who came to the classes was very formal and specific. But Wiktora is so cute, so laughing and so cheerful that they are very close friends now.
Daddy’s little girl
– David is staring at the Wiki as in the picture. Whenever she shows up at home after work, her daughter immediately claps her hands, is overjoyed, and shows to give her a kiss. And if it is necessary to have her blood taken for tests, they go to the clinic with their father. With him, she is not afraid of anything. The ladies in the laboratory know: “Oh, this is the daddy who sings to his daughter during the tests” – Asia laughs.
Unfortunately, not all of them are as nice as lab technicians. – It happens that people are watching closely. Especially old ladies do not stop at impertinent looks and comment: “But the misfortune has befallen you”, “Oh, how poor you are”, “You probably sinned that such a child was born to you”. I am not commenting on it in any way. Because what to answer them? They probably won’t understand anything anyway – sighs Asia.
But Victoria’s mother has one more reason to be proud: her son, Dominik. “He’s only six, but he’s already a knight to his sister.” When she witnesses these unpleasant situations for all of us, she says emphatically: “Please admire her. This is my sister Victoria! ».
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