Contents
The eight secrets of magnetic people
personal development
Granting the benefit of the doubt, eliminating sarcasm, and categorically stopping talking are key.
“People will forget what you said, they will also forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel” … This phrase that the writer Maya Angelou immortalized is one of the bases on which personal magnetism is based. Know it well Angel Perez, who in his latest book “The 88 Steps of Happy People” confesses that, although he always believed that success lay in rigidity, bluntness or seriousness, he was actually wrong. This inspirational entrepreneur, lecturer and versatile in the field of personal development assures that during the writing of his last book he went through a process that led him to internalize a way of seeing life that leads to success based on flexibility and that sums up this phrase: «From the wind I learned that the most rigid trees are the most rigid trees. weak”.
When one thinks of one “magnetic” person It is likely that you imagine someone who, without knowing why (their beauty or appearance does not influence), draws attention with their mere act of presence. Although some people may have this talent naturally, the truth is that, as Anxo Pérez proposes, it is possible to identify and, why not, “train” these eight keys to be a magnetic person.
Don’t speak categorically
Anxo Pérez says that being categorical and affirming or denying something absolutely, without conditions or alternatives, is the closest way to rigidity. “When you say things like ‘Real Madrid is the best team in the world, period’, as if it were a UN resolution, it is generating little magnetism because this appreciation can have a thousand nuances,” he says. Thus, he explains that magnetic people talk about what they like or what they admire, but in another way, that is, they change their way of expressing themselves and add nuances to the sentence similar to this: «Real Madrid may have been at some point the best team in the world.
Grant the benefit of the doubt
To understand the need to follow this maxim if what you want is to be magnetic, Anxo Pérez gives an example: «Imagine that you are at work and a supplier or a collaborator agrees to call you on Friday morning, but the day and finally does not call you. If you are not a magnetic person, it is likely that, before knowing what has happened, you will accuse, question or even blame that person for not having complied with what he said: “you always do the same thing”, “I’m sick of you not complying what you say »… But that is precisely what takes away your charisma and makes you not very magnetic», says the expert in personal development. Magnetic people turn fights, accusations or anger into questions and they use, as Anxo Pérez says, a magic phrase: “I don’t know if there has been an error.” By eliminating accusations or by stopping questioning people, you provoke rapprochement and magnetism, as the author of “The 88 Steps of Happy People” affirms.
Is it universal or local? Do not generalize
Saying things like “everyone should be outgoing” is likely to affect shy or reserved people more than you think. Sometimes they pronounce sentences with universal vocation when in fact they correspond to a specific moment or a specific context. That is why when making a statement or giving advice, the expert advises to stop despite whether what you say so vehemently is your preference or can have universal validity. Thus, one way of giving a “local” or particular character to what we are saying is to place these three words in front of the sentence: “in my experience.” It is not the same, therefore, to say “everyone should be extroverted” than “in my experience it is good to talk to people and be more outgoing.” The latter, according to Anxo Pérez, is typical of magnetic people.
Avoid absolute words
Do you often use the words “Always”, “never”, “all” or “nothing”? If you think that rigid and blunt sentences make you stronger, it is likely that you will change your mind after reading what Anxo Pérez has to say. “Before working on my last book, I thought that being blunt, serious and rigid would make them respect me more, but I have learned that the real value is in humility. Use diplomatic language (‘Maybe’, ‘probably’, ‘could be’, ‘some people think’...), avoiding rigid words in our vocabulary and being flexible and open when speaking can help not only to achieve inner balance, but also to improve personal and work relationships ”, he says.
Use the expression “I consider that”
When it comes to giving an opinion, we run the risk of issuing absolute opinions that, in some way, add a kind of hierarchy in the interpersonal relationship. «If you tell a person who has just exhibited a work that their presentation has been terrible, you will immediately make him feel small or, in some way, inferior. But in order to be magnetic it is important not to establish these invisible hierarchies ”, comments Anxo Pérez. The key is in eliminate “value judgment” and turn it into an “opinion”, with the same validity as any other.
Adopt conciliatory language
This recommendation directly connects with the need to grant the benefit of the doubt and also with the importance of eliminating constant value judgments about things and people. “If a person wishes to gain magnetism, he must avoid the temptation to make subtle reproaches and constantly question what others do or say,” reveals Anxo Pérez.
Avoid megalomaniacal comments
Behaving as if one had a social and economic position superior to the real one is impoverishing and detracts from attractiveness. “Everything that tries to make others smaller or that transmits to them that you consider that they are less, distances us from them, even if it is done in a subtle way,” says the lecturer that megalomaniacs tend to believe that their behavior contributes to them charisma, but the truth is that, according to assures, the effect is totally opposite.
Eliminate sarcasm
La irony cruelty and the comments sarcasticBoth if they are loaded with bitterness or if they are made as a complaint, they are behaviors that subtract magnetism. As Anxo Pérez explains, one way to reconvert this sarcasm that some people find it difficult to avoid is to use it in a way that does not attack the other but rather connects with them. “What you mean is a wall, what you say jokingly can be a curtain,” he explains. In this sense, he shares a technique that, as he explains, can be affective. “When something is said in an ironic way, but in an absurd and exaggerated way and tending towards a positive and not a negative quality, we connect with the other and the comment is taken with humor”, he comments.