«The drugs kept me asleep. People thought I was a drug addict »[LETTER TO EDITOR]

When my friends were taking high school diploma, I was in the hospital. I was only supposed to take drugs for a few months, I have been taking them for over 20 years. People thought that I was a drug addict or an alcoholic – wrote to the editorial office of Medonet Mr. Maciek, who has been struggling with mental illness since the age of 16.

1. Mr. Maciek is now recovering, but has been struggling with his mental illness since the age of 16. Now he is 41 years old
2. Due to illness, he did not take his final exams. When his classmates passed it, he was in the hospital
3. For years, the drugs made him sleepy. He often lost his job due to illness
4. Well-chosen drugs are the basis for going further (so that the side effects are minimal or the symptoms of the disease do not prevent normal functioning) – wrote in a letter to the Medonet editor Mr. Maciek
5. You can find more such stories on the TvoiLokony home page

I have been taking drugs for over 20 years

My name is Maciej. At the age of 16, I fell ill with a mental illness. I don’t remember much about my first visit to a psychiatrist, because it was 23 years ago. The question “How long will I have to take my medication?” Stuck in my mind. The doctor said it was at least a couple of months – and it turned 23 years old.

The letter continues below the video.

The beginnings were tough

I am now recovering. The beginnings of being ill were difficult because I had no knowledge of the disease, and more importantly, I did not know myself the way I do now. And now I take a better main drug, after which I am not sleepy and can function in the morning. When I fell ill for the first time, I didn’t have to go to the hospital, I managed to get out of my condition without it, but I had to take psychotropic drugs that made me sleepy in the morning, which made my studies very difficult (I was in high school at the time). The memory problems that occurred before the first psychosis (a medical condition) began. Despite this, I was able to pass the tests. This is how I got to class IV and before I graduated the disease came back. This time, unfortunately, home treatment failed, the first time I had to go to the hospital, which was very traumatic for me. When my friends were taking high school diploma, I was in the hospital. I passed high school, I did not have any one of the subjects for the first semester, so I had incomplete secondary education. After leaving the hospital, the next year, I attended classes as a free student of the subjects that I was supposed to have at the secondary school-leaving examination, because I decided that they wanted to pass it and go to the Warsaw University of Technology (even though the doctor offered me a post-secondary school). I passed my high school diploma and got into college.

It was very hard in college

During my studies, however, in the morning I was very drowsy, which made it very difficult for me to think. I was ridiculed by other students (e.g. when I checked everything several times). Today I know that it was a symptom of a disease that I don’t have anymore. One day I noticed that their attitude towards me had changed. I think now that they started to suspect that I have something. In 2007, I had an acute relapse as I had my lead medication changed due to extreme sleepiness. A few months after changing my medication, I went to my first job (I was very stressed about the new things in life, and I was very afraid to go to work). It was a drastic episode in my life and the most severe course of the disease (I don’t remember anything from the first two weeks in the hospital, I had to give such high doses of drugs to overcome my psychosis).

The big positive of this situation was that I had a good choice of a new main drug, after which I am no longer sleepy and I still take it today, and another additional antidepressant. After great hardships, in 2009, I graduated from the Warsaw University of Technology and started working in sales (already in my second-year internship, I decided that I would be a trader and sell devices related to my specialization in college). I have worked in sales in various positions and in various companies for 10 years. I often lost my job due to illness. I hid the fact that I was sick from my employers and co-workers, which often raised suspicions, e.g. whether I was not alcoholic or drug addict. The situation started to change when I joined the eFkropka foundation and met wonderful, empathetic people. It was also different for me to work when my last employer and colleagues knew about my illness. I felt relieved and went to work with a smile on my face.

What helps me fight the disease

In the fight against the disease, it helps me to know about myself and the symptoms that appear when the relapse begins. Because it does not fall on me like a bolt from the blue, it only smolders for a certain period and then I have to make often difficult decisions not to get sick. My friends and acquaintances from the foundation and amateur theater also help me (I am an amateur actor). The role of the doctor is also important, well-chosen medications are the basis for going further (so that side effects are minimal or the symptoms of the disease do not prevent normal functioning). I also use psychotherapy for my personality disorder (paranoid disorder). I deal with it every day and it makes my life very difficult. But I try to enjoy life because I have only one thing and it gives meaning to my affliction. Namely, I can train society and help others.

I am convinced that it is possible to live normally with this disease despite many difficulties.

–

EFkropka Foundation was established on the initiative of people professionally dealing with the treatment of mentally ill people and therapeutic work for them, and people after mental health crises, the so-called Experts through experience. Currently, both the Foundation Council and its Management Board include people with experience of mental crises.

The Foundation aims to increase the participation in social life of people experiencing mental crisis and to broaden the public awareness of mental disorders and crises. He wants to break taboos about emotional crises. The main mission of the Foundation is to prevent the isolation of people after a mental health crisis, counteract their stigma and break stereotypes related to mental illnesses.

We encourage you to listen to the latest episode of the RESET podcast. This time our guest is Marek Rybiec – businessman, as one of 78 people from all over the world, he completed «4 Deserts» – ultramarathon taking place in extreme places around the world. She talks to Aleksandra Brzozowska about the challenge, mental strength and mindfulness training. Listen!