Contents
The double-edged sword that can most influence your self-esteem
Psychology
The pygmalion effect is based on the principle of action based on the expectations that others have of us
Legend has it that an ancient king of Cyprus, Pygmalion, who was passionate about sculpture, and inspired by the beauty of Galatea, modeled an ivory statue with which he fell in love to the point of begging the gods for the sculpture to come to life and be able to love her like a real woman. Venus decided to please the sculptor and bring the statue to life, which became the desired woman of Pygmalion.
Comparing it to the legend, the pygmalion effect It is the process by which the beliefs and expectations of one person regarding another affect the second in a positive or negative way, altering their behavior so that this person tends to confirm them or
fulfill them. That is, if someone believes that we are very good at a certain task, our self-esteem will increase based on that task and we will do the best we know how. On the other hand, if someone tells us that we are denied, we will listen to him, it will lower our self-esteem and the execution in the task will give worse results.
Irene López Assor, psychologist and author of ‘ 10 obstacles that prevent you from being happy’, summarizes and simplifies that the pygmalion effect it would be the self-fulfilling prophecy. «The trust that others have in us can give us immense wings to resolve and reach the toughest goals. In consultation, for example, I tell my patients that they can achieve what they set out to do, and they believe in me because I always tell them that I’m not going to be a fake and say something that I don’t think can be achieved ”, says the expert. Therefore, they believe and trust what she is saying, exercising in them the basis of pygmalion effect. If the expectation is favorable, we can go beyond what we expected, because we will be trusting what the other sees in us.
However, the times that we have tried something and it has not gone well, we have not been motivated because we have been afraid of failing, above all, because we feel that others, our circle, have not trusted us as they have received messages such as « you are not going to achieve anything in life “,” you are a disaster “,” you are useless “, and so on. They would be generating negative pygmalion, which is called the golem effect. When we believe the phrases of others and fail, we feel that self-fulfilling prophecy: «For example, ‘I don’t do anything right in life because they already told me so’ and, therefore, all motivation fades and the whole struggle of the objectives is blurred ».
This effect, which is based on the principle of action based on the expectations that others have about us, requires three aspects:
1. Firmly believe in a fact. For example, “I think my patients are going to reach their goal.” Or in the negative case: “your father doesn’t think you’ll get there.”
2. Have the expectation that will be fulfilled. López Assor (@irenelopezassor) says that she believes that her patients will reach their goals. If not, an example would be: «I believe 100% what x person says and she believes 100% that I am not going to get anywhere»
3. Accompany with messages that encourage the achievement of the objective. In the case of patients, when they achieve the objective, indicates López Assor, it would be convenient to reinforce with messages such as “you have achieved it”, “great”, “keep it up.” In the negative case, the messages would be of the type: “Do you see it? You are useless”, “I already told you”, “You will never get it”.
In addition, there are other factors that intervene in the pygmalion effect:
1. The predisposition, which is always conditioned because we live in a social world, in a world always with defined and marked stereotypes difficult to cut. We must be alert and be careful who tells us things and by which people we want to be influenced.
2. The trust, a key factor in behavior and the driving force of society and our actions: «If I feel that I have confidence in myself, I see myself capable of eating the world or, on the contrary, the absence of it, feeling that I have no I trust myself and I think that I am useless and that I am useless ».
The psychologist also indicates that this trust comes from the environment and from what we have experienced, from the context that has surrounded us: family, friends, profession, colleagues, etc .: «Everyone is going to interfere in our behavior and that’s why many of our actions are directly influenced by the environment.
3. The conflict. «In self-fulfilling prophecy there is a conflict between the environment’s confidence in your possibilities and the confidence and expectation that you place in yourself. By nature, human beings have the capacity for self-determination in making decisions from within, rejecting everything they impose from the outside, ”says Irene, which is why this conflict is so important to take into account. “I want to be who I am but since they believe that I am not worth it, I cannot be what I want”, and thus we remain faithful to that prophecy imposed since we were little.