You have long and very much want a child. But the doctors shrug their shoulders: “Your partner is all right, you are healthy. We don’t know why pregnancy doesn’t occur.» According to psychologist Olga Kaver, in 90% of cases, the causes of infertility are psychological. Let’s figure out how to overcome them.
I couldn’t get pregnant on my own for about two years. As expected, I went to the doctors, worried, every month I felt pregnant for two weeks after ovulation. I will not delve into the details of the various diagnoses that I have been given. But at one fine moment I realized: the reason for infertility is in my head, I myself do not allow myself to become pregnant. It took me three months to sort myself out… and a miracle happened. Now I have five children — four sons from 9 to 22 years old and one daughter.
Abroad, in the centers of reproductive technologies, the psychologist is a full-fledged member of the team of specialists who analyzes the results of tests for psychosomatics. In Russia, unfortunately, there is no such practice. Although this problem is very common.
Of all the psychological causes of infertility, I would single out two main ones.
The first reason comes from childhood. Perhaps the mother told her daughter about a difficult birth, or once upon a time in a film, the girl saw how a woman gave birth in agony, or in classical literature she read about the death of a woman in labor. This information and visual images turned into negative programs that subsequently blocked the entire reproductive process. Often the person himself cannot realize these programs and fears. They are subconscious. And you will need the help of a specialist to remove the symptom and start the process.
The second reason is systemic. It is connected with the history of the family of a particular woman: with her parents, grandparents, great-grandparents. Subconsciously, a woman feels danger — for example, it seems to her that a child will be born sick. Or something not like that. And it literally covers her with fear. I build a genogram and see that the great-grandmother really gave birth to a sick child. And the fears of that woman were inherited by this one. By the way, the fact that this can happen is confirmed by epigenetics — a new science with an already weighty evidence base.
Relationships with partners and spouses are of great importance. It is good if they are built on mutual respect and trust. And if not? A woman often cannot get pregnant because of doubts and insecurity in her man — whether he is the right person, whether he is reliable.
A demonstrative scientific experiment was carried out. On ultrasound, doctors monitored the condition of the woman’s ovaries. At the time when her husband nearby spoke pleasant words to her, the ovaries were normal. But as soon as a man started insulting a woman, raising his voice at her, her ovaries literally contracted, a spasm occurred. That’s how sensitive the pelvic organs react to emotions! Many women confirm that when they are nervous, worried or worried about something, they experience discomfort in the lower abdomen.
The woman went to bow to the icon or held on to the statue of the Virgin of Montserrat — and became pregnant
The cause of infertility can also be … a woman’s strong immunity. Her own antibodies perceive the potential embryo as something hostile, foreign and reject it, a miscarriage occurs. In such cases, the simplest thing is to advise her to go with her husband for a couple of weeks somewhere to rest. It is desirable from winter to summer, so that immunity is weakened due to a sharp change in climate. This will help her get pregnant.
Methods of infertility treatment each time are selected individually.
Someone, for example, helps provocative therapy. I suggest the woman do something shocking, like go outside and crow. Why does it work? She just turns her head off at that moment. Psychological and physical clamps are removed, self-control goes away. The woman relaxes, allowing the body to perform its functions. The course of massage of the collar zone and head works in the same way — it relaxes, removes blocks.
And someone helps faith. It usually looks fantastic: a woman went to bow to an icon or held on to the statue of the Virgin of Montserrat — and became pregnant, although she had lived with a diagnosis of infertility for 10 years before that. In principle, this works in the same way as the provocative technique: when a person believes, he relaxes, trusts, ceases to control. Stress is relieved, the ovaries begin to ovulate, the uterus returns to normal tone.
If a woman wants to become a mother, she must start with a clear statement: I easily get pregnant, carry and give birth to a healthy child.