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We come into this world and receive an instrument for use – the body. With its help, we not only have the opportunity to continue our race, move and have fun, we get to know the world with it: we see and hear, smell and touch, think and feel.
In it, as in a house, we live. In the process of life, our body grows and develops, and along with it we grow and develop, mastering this instrument more and more masterfully, living in this house with all its corners. And it is with the body that we send various signals to this world: who we are and what we want. We try to look a certain way, act a certain way. As a tool of self-presentation, our body experiences the maximum influence of the environment and society. A classic example: the idea of what a successful person looks like changes depending on the era. In the old days, being overweight was considered a sign of satiety, prosperity and success and, as a result, was welcomed, but in modern European and American culture, being overweight is perceived more as a disadvantage: it is a sign of either illness or indifference to one’s body. The Renaissance man with his triumph of the flesh is a fitness instructor’s nightmare. And the attitude of people to the body, and not only to their own, depends on what is accepted in society. We tend to judge a person by their appearance. And condemn him if he does not meet generally accepted standards.
But as a result, we ourselves find ourselves in a trap – because we are forced to show the world not our real body, but an image, shell, armor, which should look a certain way, and act as dictated by society, religion, culture. And the body – a wonderful tool designed to know and feel the fullness of this life – turns into something that protects us from this world. And the body itself does not live, but only defends itself.
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- I can’t stand other people’s touch
Any person feels the need to be accepted by his neighbors, he needs love and care. How the girl wants to be loved, so that someone will come, protect, take care, save her from loneliness! The path to finding oneself is long, difficult and incomprehensible. But the acquisition of a certain appearance seems to be a specific recipe for happiness, so understandable. Pumped up lips, breasts and “corrected” other parts of the body just scream: “Love me, I’m so afraid of loneliness, take care of me, I need you.” And then it’s very scary to get better or not have such breasts and ass ….
The prospect of lonely old age and infirmity, lack of demand, abandonment and uselessness also frightens a person “over 40” in our youth-oriented world. And as usual, the inner path, with a reassessment of values and summing up, is difficult, and sometimes sad. Is it easy to say to yourself: “Yes, the dreams of youth did not come true and you did not achieve anything …”? So a person is trying to cling to the elusive youth, doing numerous manipulations with his own body. Of course, I’m not talking about a healthy lifestyle here: caring for the body seems quite reasonable, like caring for an instrument that you use for a long time.
The opposite option is a disdainful attitude towards everything bodily. A protective layer of fat, numerous diseases can carry both the message “Get away from me, leave me alone, I’m afraid of you, this world is so unfriendly”, and a call for help – “I need you, take care of me.”
These fluctuations – from violence against the body to neglect of it, from stuffing it into the Procrustean bed set by society, to complete inattention to it – reflect our unconscious fluctuations between the fear of loneliness and the fear of completely losing ourselves. But torture, as well as indifference, has never helped anyone. What to do? Apparently, what it would be good to strive for is to study and understand your own body, its needs and signals.
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- Do you have complexes?