Contents
You can’t buy it in a store like a toy or a musical instrument. Junnif Uzodike, a Montessori specialist and mother of two young children, tells how to give a newborn confidence in the world and self-confidence.
“In the first two months of life, the foundation of a child’s personality is laid. He learns in a new environment for himself. If during this period he has a basic trust in the world, then in the future he will treat life with optimism, experience a sense of trust and security – “I feel good here.”
The basis of self-confidence, as a rule, appears by the ninth month of life. By this time, the newborn has already spent as much time in the world as in the womb. A child who has faith in himself is not afraid of difficulties, failures do not discourage him. He is full of curiosity and research interest in the world, confident in his abilities.
Read more:
- Trust in life: how to find support points
Trust in the world
The mother’s womb is the first “home” for the baby. If he feels that his parents are happy for him – they are in a good mood, they often smile and laugh, talk to him, stroke his stomach – the “home” seems cozy to him. And it builds trust in the environment.
Well, if the birth of a child goes smoothly. But even if something goes wrong, it is important to keep a calm mind. Newborns don’t like bright lights, loud voices… The language they understand best is loving touch. The baby has just emerged from the cocoon, and our hugs should remind him of his familiar environment.
The first 6-8 weeks, the main thing for the child is the voice of the mother and her heartbeat, to which he is accustomed. Doctors and psychologists are unanimous: it is important to breastfeed the baby on demand, hold it in your arms, wear it in a sling – such close contact reminds the newborn of a safe prenatal environment and helps to get used to the new reality.
The child also needs order – feeding, changing a diaper, bathing should take place in the same places and in a certain familiar sequence. He also needs to provide enough space to explore the surrounding area. Crying should be treated carefully, giving him as much tenderness, gentle touches, conversations and songs as possible – all this helps the child to achieve basic trust in the surrounding space and provides a sense of security.
I have seen my son develop a basic trust in the world. He was about five months old, I went to the bathroom, and when I returned to the room a few minutes later, he was looking at the bathroom door. As if waiting and knowing that I would return through this door. When he saw me, he smiled. I’m pretty sure he thought, “I knew she would come back.” Since that time, I began to leave him alone for a while, he did not cry and did not act up, but, on the contrary, patiently waited. He trusted me and believed that he was in a good place.
Maria-Elene Place
“100 Montessori Exercises to Prepare Your Child for Reading and Writing”
The early development system, developed by the famous Italian doctor and teacher Maria Montessori, has been popular with us for more than a decade – many parents willingly send their preschoolers to Montessori gardens and developmental groups.
Believe in yourself
Parents can pass on this gift to their child by providing space for their son or daughter to move, explore, and communicate. It is important to observe children in order to notice changes in time and make changes in their environment.
Unfortunately, many newborns are restricted in their freedom of movement when they come into the world – they are tightly swaddled, put in a walker, put in highchairs … Instead of suppressing freedom of movement, a safe space should be created that allows the child to move independently and learn how his body works and the environment.
Even a bed can be arranged on the floor – without legs and a fence. Then, already at 3-5 months, the baby will be able to learn to get out and climb back onto his bed on his own. A soft mattress, a blanket or carpet, above it a hanging structure with toys appropriate for the age of the baby, a mirror next to the wall and a low shelf with several bright toys – that’s all you need.
At first, the baby just lies and looks at objects around, explores his room. He also looks at himself in the mirror. He can see everything, but he cannot touch anything. He watches the toys swing in the air, and at this time he develops the ability to visually track objects.
Then one day, about two months, he accidentally hits a hanging toy. The first few times he does it unconsciously. At this point, the parent, whose role is to carefully observe the changes, hangs a bell on a ribbon from the hanging structure. The baby’s hand accidentally touches the toy again, but this time it makes a sound. If this is of interest to the baby, he will try to hit the toy at will. Each time, his movements will become more accurate. And each time, another brick will be laid in the foundation of his faith in himself.
It is important that parents do not interrupt the child and do not try to “help” by putting a bell or ribbon in his hand. In addition to self-confidence, movement helps the baby learn to concentrate. This process should be treated with respect.
Read more:
- Believe in yourself. Believe in yourself
He spends a lot of time on his mat, sometimes on his stomach, sometimes on his back, and then one fine day, about 3-4 months, trying to reach a mirror or hanging toy, he rolls over on his own. This delights the baby: “I can move myself!” He perfects this ability and sets a new goal – to reach for the beautiful toys on the shelf. “Tired of just looking at them! I want to touch them, taste them and move them.” And so he pushes himself forward, slowly but surely – crawling. “I did it! I can get what I want! I can set a goal and achieve it.” Another brick in the foundation of self-confidence. Go forward despite the difficulties.
When he is already able to sit, it is time to prepare for him a small table and chair in size, with cutlery and utensils. He can sit opposite or near others, look around. He learns to use cutlery and bring food and drink to his mouth on his own. “I can feed myself!” Another brick.
By 9 months, the baby is already actively exploring the space – room by room. In each he has his own safe area for games. He knows that he is a member of the family and belongs to the house. He can fall and be understood, climb stairs, pick up objects of different sizes and shapes with his hands. He can also make his own choices, because the parent always asks him what book, toy or clothes he prefers. He is human and capable of many things.
Parents talk to the child, sing to him and, more importantly, listen to him and address him. When he coos or babbles, his parents listen and wait for him to finish. They can repeat the sound after the child – this tells the baby that his words matter (mom or dad stopped to listen) and they heard him (they repeated what he said after him). Gradually, he learns to communicate – for example, he puts his hand to the bib when he is hungry. He knows he can make his needs known and they will be met—another building block to basic self-belief.
And then one day, when he was not yet a year old, you are sitting together, he smiles at you and leaves or crawls away from you. From time to time he looks back, but continues to purposefully move away. He disappears from your field of vision. You expect him to return, but no. You go to check on how things are going and you find your little one by the toy shelf. He sorts through toys, drinks from his cup, or leafs through a book he has chosen.
And then you realize that he got the best presents for his first birthday. He believes in the world around him and in himself. He knows that the world is a good place, and therefore he is not afraid to take a chance and move away from you. He trusts his abilities and is not afraid to explore the world on his own. You helped him lay the foundation for a happy life.
See website for details