The baby is crying: is it always necessary to twitch at this?

First, briefly.

• What is the most important thing for a mother? Don’t worry, get enough sleep and be calm.
• Is it necessary to be attentive to the crying of a baby? — Yes, definitely.
• Should parents be afraid that the baby is crying? — No, it’s not scary.
• Can I believe the cry of a baby? Yes, babies don’t cry in vain.
• Is it always necessary to respond to a crying baby? — Not at all. Yes, he may want something, but parents may have other plans.
• Is it necessary to wean a baby from night crying? Yes, gradually.
• What else needs to be taken care of? — Not to teach the baby to cry.

And now about all this — in more detail.

From the crying of a child, novice mothers, who have their first child, twitch and worry. The more experienced the mother, the more she brought up the children, the calmer and more philosophical she is about the crying of the child. An experienced mother listens more attentively to crying, understands the crying of the child better, but twitches less from him. Perhaps this is the most important quality of an experienced mother — her calmness, her confidence that the main thing is for her to get enough sleep and not worry in vain. When the mother sleeps well and feels good, then the child will be fine.

There is no need to be afraid that the child is crying. Crying and crying does not harm the health of the baby, rather it contributes. This is good gymnastics for the lungs and vocal cords, and the loud, demanding cry of a child indicates that everything is in order with him.

At the same time, being attentive to crying is necessary, because it is through crying that the child tells his parents about his needs. If the mother is attentive and knows that even a baby can cry in different ways, depending on what he needs or worries him, then she and the child will perfectly understand each other.

More often crying children who catch colds and get sick. Start tempering children — they will not get sick and will cry less. I dipped my children in ice water from birth, they practically did not get sick. Additionally: children do not like to be dressed up: at least they put something on them, at least they take something off of them. If you have hardened children, crawl without anything and sleep under the same diaper, you will have them both healthy and calm.

It is better if the baby sleeps very close to you until six months, but still in a separate bed. Mine slept in a cradle that I made myself: unlike the bed, which you struggle to rock at night, you could rock it with your finger, because I hung it on vacuum rubber. It’s okay if someday you lull him on your chest, but then it’s better to put him in your bed: let him get used to sleeping at your place, and you will sleep better.

Night sleep (and night crying) of a child is a separate and important topic. If your baby sleeps restlessly at night and constantly asks for breasts, most likely he does not ask for breasts at all, but for water, and he is stuffy. Walk your baby more during the day, bathe him several times a day, ventilate the room at night, and at night give him water, not breasts — and he will sleep more peacefully. And most importantly, you will start to sleep.

So: if you acted initially not quite right and taught the child to sleep next to you in your bed, it is quite natural that the child will protest when you want to excommunicate him from you. Learn to distinguish night crying from what the child has peed or wants to drink, from protest crying: “I want it the way I used to!”. If you do not have plans for your child to get used to leading the life of your family, and not you, wean your baby from such nightly crying.

How? Just don’t react.

The woman said: At the age of 1 month, my daughter had been ill with bronchitis. During the illness, the child realized that the mother immediately flies up to the sound of khe-khe, and began to use it. If my daughter really wanted to talk to me, and at night I didn’t react to whimpering, then she began to “cough” loudly. I, sleepy, flew up to her, and she smiled sweetly at me and waited for me to play with her … I decided not to reinforce this nightly behavior, stopped responding to “cough-cough”, and everything became fine.

Another story from a smart mom.

When my daughter was 5-6 months old, she confused day with night. And every night my husband and I jumped around the apartment with her in our arms. As soon as we put her in the crib, she immediately began to scream and cry, as soon as we took her in our arms, she immediately calmed down. After reading Dr. Spock’s book, my husband and I decided to do the experiment described in the book. It was said that you need to wish the child good night before going to bed, kiss and leave the room without reacting to his crying. On the first day, the baby will cry for 20 minutes. On the second day 15. Then — 10. And then stop crying before going to bed at all. We did just that. Sitting outside the nursery door, we held each other so as not to rush into the room to heart-rending cries. After 19 minutes, I decided that nothing would help and was going to rush to the child, but my husband held me back. After exactly 20 minutes, the child calmed down. When we looked into the room, my daughter was sleeping peacefully. Then everything was like a book. On the second day, the crying lasted 15 minutes. Then — 10 minutes. And then my daughter stopped crying before going to bed at all, and we began to have quiet nights.

Few people know, but children do not always cry. Children cry only when it makes sense, when someone reacts to them. They control you with their crying. Is it correct? Is it good?

If the parents are stupid and inattentive to the children, then in this case the persistent crying of the child is good and right. The child has the right to insist on what he really needs! However, if the parents are attentive and wise, then it is necessary to wean the child from commanding the parents.

Child, it’s up to you to give me a signal, and how to respond to it is up to me to decide. Your business is to cry, and my business is to tell you whether you are right or not. And if your crying is not correct and we will live differently, I will not react to your crying and I will wean you from this extra crying.

So: be attentive to the crying of the baby. That is, discern what your baby wants — and then make your own decisions. If he wants you to pick up and give him a toy that he throws over the side of the stroller, it is hardly worth reacting to this. Let’s not react to such crying, mom is not a toy. Also, if the baby is whimpering simply because he wants to be with you, you can take him to your chest if you feel like it, and leave him to fall asleep in your crib: these should be your decisions, not dictated by the little one.

Dear mothers, get used to being the main ones for the child, it will be better for the child. The child should follow the parents, and not vice versa. Dear dads, teach your mother to take care of herself first, and then of the child: the child does not need the feat of a mother exhausted by sleepless nights, but a happy and well-rested mother.

And with all this — the crying of a baby can be trusted. Unlike the crying of two-year-olds and older children, babies do not cry in vain. Children under one year of age usually require from their parents only what they really need. The baby has honest needs, he does not invent — if he cries, then on business. Things like eating, sleeping, being warm and dry, being in the arms of a mother are the natural needs of a baby, and when a child screams or cries about it to you, he is not a terrorist, but a reminder to you. You may not like his crying, but his crying, as a rule, is not whimsical.

However, there is one important point: with your wrong behavior, you can even teach a baby to cry in vain and start acting up. Namely, if you are lazy and wait: «Here he will cry to me — then I will move!» — In this case, the baby will soon get used to the fact that he needs to control you, and he has only one means: crying. And he will get used to crying to you in order to achieve something for himself. This is wrong, but how is it right? It’s simple. Clever mothers do not wait for the child to cry, let alone cry seriously; smart mothers get ahead of the situation and resolve the issue before the baby starts crying.

If you hear that the child is already grunting and turning, that is, he has woken up, then why wait for his cry? If you have learned to notice that the baby already wants to pee, pick him up and drop him off before he has peed himself and started crying.

Take matters into your own hands, get ahead of his demands, accustom him to the fact that this world is still run by adults, and not by him.

At least not yet. Not all at once.