In recent decades, mature women have increasingly found themselves in the status of a sex symbol. Why is this happening and is it normal for young men to be attracted to women who are significantly older than them?
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“A woman over 40 is an amazing, sensitive lover, an experienced rider in sexual games, uninhibited, sensual, reckless, daring, groovy and amazingly passionate. She manages and readily obeys, she starts and starts … ”- user Lubolyub writes on the feedee.ru forum.
He designates his gender as male, but some members of the forum suspect that the text belongs to a woman. It doesn’t really matter who wrote it. It is important that this erotic essay reflects a process that began twenty years ago and has been picking up speed ever since.
Turning on any celebrity TV program or flipping through the pages of the gossip column, we will see models, actresses and singers whose sexuality only becomes brighter with age.
Madonna, Sharon Stone, Demi Moore, Monica Bellucci – all of them are over 50 years old, but this does not stop anyone from admiring and admiring these women. Their movie heroines remain bright seductresses, and they themselves do not refuse romantic adventures in real life – sometimes with men much younger than themselves.
Feeling myself
It would be too easy to explain their unfading appeal by the achievements of cosmetology and plastic surgery.
Paradoxical as it sounds, the miracles of surgeons and cosmetologists are more a consequence than a reason for the popularity of mature women.
After forty, a woman wants to bring her appearance in line with her inner sense of herself and her age.
“I did a facelift and corrected something in my figure to look exactly the way I feel,” says 47-year-old Elena. “I used to like myself, to be attractive – the sexual side of life is very important to me.”
“At twenty years old, a woman may seek to improve her appearance in order to solve a specific task, for example, to get married or start a career in show business. After forty, a woman wants to bring her appearance in line with her inner sense of herself and her age, ”confirms sexologist Irina Panyukova.
Does this mean that today’s 40-year-olds are in some sense younger than their mothers at the same age? Definitely.
“For centuries, the path of a woman was clearly divided into stages: a girl – a girl – a girl – a married woman, – continues the sexologist. – Each was formalized and furnished with many rituals, to encroach on which would mean to oppose oneself to the whole society.
It was impossible to return to the lived stage, for example, divorce was rather an exception. As a result, the woman “stuck” at the stage of marriage: by the age of 25 she was burdened with several children and completely switched to the social role of the mother.
The boundaries of life stages are transparent, and moving between them is a pleasure available to everyone
Back in the second half of the 40th century, the socially regulated age of “avoiding sex” was approximately XNUMX years old: older women simply could not be attractive in the eyes of men. They had a different social role – to marry off their daughters, to become grandmothers. In this situation, they had no chance to reveal, and often even realize their own sexuality.
Today, from the point of view of society, after a divorce, a woman is again “marriageable”, and it would never occur to anyone to condemn her. But such extreme measures are not necessary to return to a previous life stage. It is enough to change the environment – whether it is a new job or a move – and a feeling of novelty appears in life, which means – youth and sexuality.
Finally, you can change nothing at all, just change clothes. Youth fashion is no more – only “teenage” remains. The boundaries of life stages are transparent, and moving between them is a pleasure available to everyone.
Irresistible MILF
This slang abbreviation (mother I’d like to fuck – translated from English as “mommy, whom I would fuck”) is included in most dictionaries today. This is how the anxious teenage protagonist rated his friend’s mother in American Pie.
A joke from a youth comedy gave a name to a new direction in erotica and pornography. Its main character is a woman over 35 who actively seduces young men (for example, pizza delivery men or classmates of her student son).
Since the early 2000s, films and sites about MILF have accounted for about 15-20% of the total porn industry. The adult film awards have introduced special nominations for the best films and actresses in the MILF category – in the porn business, as in any other, supply is determined by demand. And this means that there is a demand: 40-year-olds really attract young men.
“It’s different for me with her.”
Timur, 23 of the year: “For six months I have been dating a woman who is older than me. For about ten years … or fifteen – I never asked, let alone looked into the passport – why? I had a lot of girls, but it was different with them.
It’s not even that they were less experienced in sex. They all the time seemed to be examining me: how I was dressed, what restaurant I would take to, what I would give for the New Year, for Valentine’s Day … There was a feeling that they were checking whether I was good enough. It’s boring.
With Nina it’s different. She does not ask the price, does not estimate what she can get. She gives and gives. Not only the body. She told me a lot, gave me films that I myself would have been looking for for another hundred years.
And she listens to me! My former girlfriends were simply not capable of this – they got bored. But for some reason, she’s interested. She never takes offense on purpose to get something. If I happen to hurt her – it happens to everyone – I myself become scared.
I have a feeling that she is very, very tender, I want to take care of her, protect her … It is with her that I feel not like a “young man”, but a man. Maybe it’s because she never looks down on me, treats me like an equal.
As for the bed… No, she doesn’t have the perfect fashion model figure, but she has a soft, lively, responsive body. As sincere as she is. She does not pretend, and I know for sure: she does with me what she likes, and not what someone advised her: “this is how it should be” or “try it this way again.”
And when she moans under me, laughs or cries, hugging me with her arms and legs, scratching, kissing, licking, I feel almost like a god – such delight in her eyes.
Sometimes we are in the company – and my friends understand me. No one has ever asked: “Why didn’t you find yourself younger?” Or maybe she’s the only one. And age has nothing to do with it.
“Models of sexual behavior of men 18–25 years old and women twice as old are somewhat the same,” explains the sexologist. – Young people often seek relationships without obligations and long negotiations, and their peers expect sex to guarantee long-term relationships.
And although at 27-35 years old women may be more interested in quick sex, they are distracted by unresolved family or career issues. And closer to 40 in a woman’s life, often everything has already taken place: education, profession, career, family.
Thanks to her experience, she knows exactly what she needs, how to enjoy and deliver it to her partner. At the same time, there is a feeling that it is simply a pity to waste time on long reflections, because there is not much of it. ”
Is it possible to call “sexuality over forty” a new and very stable trend? “The popularity of sensual beauties over forty only confirms that happy sexuality is possible at any age,” says Irina Panyukova. “And this can only be rejoiced at.”