In many traditions, old people are considered sages. What is the source of this wisdom — is it only in the sum of the years lived?
Psychologist Steve Taylor explains why people often become more spiritual as they age and know things about life that young people don’t.
A few months ago, I completed research related to goals. We have identified seven types of goals:
- lack of purpose;
- survival;
- religious purpose;
- accumulating money or acquiring status and power;
- altruistic (idealistic);
- spiritual and creative development;
- transpersonal (service to a spiritual goal).
We have come to some interesting conclusions. Thus, it turned out that the importance of money, status and power decreases with age, while transpersonal goals, on the contrary, become more relevant. In the older age group (65+), people often set spiritual goals for themselves compared to the younger group (18-30 years old). It is also noteworthy that women are more oriented toward transpersonal goals than men.
We also found an association between goal types and levels of happiness. Subjects without clear goals and those who only care about survival are less happy than those who seek self-development, helping others, and serving spiritual purposes. Those who prioritize transpersonal goals are more likely than others to say that they are satisfied with life.
Why do goals change with age?
What is the reason why people gravitate more towards transpersonal goals with age? Do we become more spiritual as we age?
Swedish psychologist Lars Thornstam agrees with this: he believes that aging is a process of spiritual development. His studies showed that after 65 years, about 20% of people (more often women) acquire «cosmic transcendence», that is, they feel connected to the universe and are able to establish contact with people who are physically located many kilometers away from them.
Spiritual traditions, from Buddhism to Sufism to Taoism, teach us to disregard appearances, material things and fame.
It seems to me that this happens because with age we get rid of many psychological connections and are less dependent on external factors. We are more concerned with inner balance and a sense of well-being. We no longer depend on the future, appearance, financial solvency and success. In part, this happens because we are moving towards the end of a career (or have already completed it) and death.
Such “letting go” is one of the signs of spiritual development. Spiritual traditions, from Buddhism to Sufism to Taoism, teach us to disregard looks, material things, ambition, and fame. It is much more important to find a natural source of well-being within yourself, which will not depend on events in the outside world.
The Importance of Acceptance
It turns out that aging can become a process of spiritual development. But this is not always the case. Many older people cling to old connections, worry about the fact that their appearance and lifestyle have changed, and are afraid of losing everything that they have accumulated for so long (achievements, things, status). Instead of transcendence, they experience frustration and anxiety.
As noted by the famous psychologist Eric Erickson, there are two paths in old age — ego integrity or despair, that is, wisdom and acceptance, or bitterness and resentment.
In my opinion, the key element is acceptance. Even illness, bereavement, and deep depression can give rise to personal transformation if a person is able to accept them and let go of what was before. Only in this way can he develop spiritually and become happier.