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“It is difficult to communicate, I can’t find a common language with relatives, work colleagues…” Communication expert Susan Scott*, who has thousands of successful negotiations behind her, over the years of practice came to a simple and, at first glance, paradoxical solution.
The more you are open to the interlocutor, you strive to speak briefly and to the point, and most importantly – sincerely, the stronger you are and the easier it is for you to communicate. Instead of trying to control everything and everyone, manipulate people, “pressure” with verbosity, humiliate, or, conversely, flatter and hide your feelings, speak the way you would like to be spoken to. As if this is the most important dialogue in your life and it is incredibly interesting to you. “Many people are afraid of real conversation,” writes Scott, “but what you really need to be afraid of is fake, insincere conversation.” Such conversations do not bring results, only exhaust the soul and eat up precious time of life.
Don’t be afraid to ask “stupid” questions, don’t be afraid to say what you think, to say that you are angry or worried – the truth protects. People around want to hear it, even if it is unpleasant. But avoid making accusations – each of us has our own version of reality and everyone has a particle of truth, Scott emphasizes, so before making a decision, it is worth listening to different points of view.
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- Be the best in communication
Do not overload the conversation with negative emotions by showing them. If you’re agitated and feel like you’re losing control, become a smelting furnace, a highly durable vessel that can withstand the highest levels of tension and in which successful solutions are forged.
The author honestly warns that it is impossible to master the art of communication quickly. But the more you practice and strive for sincere, simple conversations, the sooner you will start to get them. The expert in detail, like chess games, analyzes various examples and exercises, gives life stories that are easy to learn from. The only drawback of the book is the sloppy translation, which makes it difficult to read.
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- Communication: the subtleties of translation
* S. Scott “Talk to the point. The art of communication for those who want to get their way” (Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2014).