The 11 most important phrases for your relationship (repeat them often!)

1. “I’m so glad I married you!”

Everyone needs to hear that we are loved over and over again. After all, we make the decision to be together for life – and in this life big changes happen.

“When we hear from a partner the words that he is happy to be with us, it seems to confirm his oath once again. For us, this is evidence that we are loved even more than at the beginning of the journey, ”says Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology and sexologist.

2. “Would you like help?”

What necessary words! Repeat them often.

There is one nuance here. Those who have lived together for more than 50 years say that you need to avoid the temptation of great love to solve all your partner’s problems for him. This is not grateful. Sometimes a partner just needs to be listened to and shown attention.

“I’m here to support you” sounds much better than “here’s what you need to do,” says Carl Pillemer, author of 30 Lessons in Love.

3. “I want you”

What better way to keep the fire going between you than such exciting words – as if they come from the time when everything was just beginning? Even after many years, you are desirable for him. Staying sexually attractive to your partner, despite changes in appearance, is perhaps the most important thing for a woman. “It makes you feel alive,” says Celeste Hirschman, a sex therapist and family coach.

4. “What do you think?”

This simple phrase has great power. Especially when you are discussing some important or painful topics. Remember her more often. It is like an invitation to a calm dialogue.

“To say this is to mean literally the following: “I’m interested in your opinion, and I’m interested in you. Your point of view is as important as mine,” says family therapist Winfred Reilly.

5. “What would I do without you?”

When you feel sad or think about not the most pleasant events, hearing such words for a partner is one of the most valuable gifts that life together can give. “It means that for you he is the force that helps you stay happy in life, to be yourself,” says Iris Krasnov, bestselling author of The Secret Life of Wives.

6. “Please forgive me”

When was the last time you heard such words from him? How long have you been saying them yourself?

“Sorry” has become a very rare word: these days people care about fulfilling themselves and getting everything out of life. In addition, in the pursuit of perfection, perfectionists are very sensitive to the very idea that they can make a mistake.

“A happy union is the union of two imperfect people who know that they are imperfect and recognize the right of everyone to make a mistake. We all make mistakes,” says Kurt Smith, a psychotherapist who works with men.

7. “Tell me everything in detail …”

“If your partner has just returned from an important event or trip, do not interrupt him, let him tell you everything in detail. Do not load it immediately with current problems. Show your sincere interest in what he is going to talk about: the topic of the conference and speakers, fishing and overnight in tents. Let him tell the whole story – we all love to be listened to carefully! Carl Pillemer says

8. “You are so beautiful!”

You will never get tired of hearing these words. Even if they sound more modest – for example: “I love it when you wear this dress” or “This color suits you so much.”

“Over the years of living together, you have learned almost everything about each other – and about what suits you, including. But let this phrase be a small discovery every time,” says Pepper Schwartz.

9. “I was wrong. You’re right”

This is one of the best phrases that can sound from the lips of a man, sublime and noble. She is able to resolve almost any conflict. However, hearing it from a woman is no less wonderful. “I say these words very often – even when I know that my husband was wrong and I am right!” — says Iris Krasnov.

10. “I like you like this”

So often we meet people who want to “improve” something that is already so good. Make you the person they want you to be. But the strongest relationships are built on acceptance.

“Only when you accept someone who is close to you, he feels free and literally blossoms,” says sex therapist Daniel Harel.

11. “Okay, let’s forget. I forgave you a long time ago

“Couples come to me for therapy who remember every word of each other, everything that each of them once did wrong. When you quote this list of sins, it means that forgiveness did not happen, ”says Kurt Smith.

Forgiveness does not mean not remembering anything. This means you do not need to remember it again and again. Answer yourself the question – why?