Testimony: “They gave their gametes”

“My egg donation ended my assisted reproduction journey.”

Cindy, 39, mother of Leny, 6, and Tess, 4.

“I heard about egg donation because a couple of friends needed it: they had to go to Spain… Their story touched me, but at that time, I didn’t even think about having a baby. I met my husband when I was 25. Two years later, we tried to have a baby. After n months, still nothing. We started the medical examinations… Four years later, we started the IVF. There was no explanation for our infertility. During this entire course of assisted reproduction, I did not suffer too much physically from the side effects of the stimulation. On the other hand, the psychological suffering was strong. The first IVF, on which we had built a lot of hopes, did not yield anything. It was a big blow! Before giving it a second try, we decided to take a break.

Something got unlocked

We went on vacation to Bali. There our local guide took us to his family doctor, a traditional healer. He examined, palpated and massaged our stomachs and feet. His diagnosis was very clear: there was no problem. For him, it was going to work. He was so confident and positive that something unlocked about me. Two days after our return, I took a pregnancy test: I was pregnant! This trip and this encounter with the healer had unlocked something in me. 18 months after the birth of my son, we decided to start the baby tests again… and it worked right away! Then life went on. I watched the donation campaigns go by, and I thought this is something I would like to do, to give others a chance to become parents.

I did something good

One day, I went to the Egg Donation site. I saw that the deadline was before 37 years (in a few months). If I wanted to give, it was now! On the day of the appointment at the Center for Reproductive Biology, I sat in the waiting room. I saw all these couples and I saw myself again in their place, four years ago, without knowing if I would one day be a mother… All the emotion rose again. In the psychologist’s office, I gave it all up: I started to cry. It allowed me to verbalize all this accumulated suffering. Then I felt released and focused on giving. In a few weeks, everything happened: the bites, the stimulations… They were only able to harvest five oocytes. I was a little disappointed, it’s less than I thought, but it’s still that… After the puncture, the CECOS team gave me a huge bouquet of flowers. It touched me a lot. Since then, I think very little about it, except to tell myself that I did something right. For me, the circle has come full circle: my egg donation came to end my assisted reproduction journey. “

“My donation allowed me to get closer to my friend in assisted reproduction.”

Mathilde, 32, mother of Raphaël, 4, and Robin, 2.

“I had never thought of egg donation. The click occurred after reading an article in the newspaper “20 minutes”. A woman explained that because of the shortage of oocytes in France, she had to go to Spain. This testimony touched me. It turns out that my best friend was having difficulty getting pregnant. She was doing IVF and as I had just given birth to my second baby, the subject was becoming more difficult to discuss between us, a little taboo… I felt helpless. It clicked: this is what I could do at my level to help her and all the couples in difficulty.

I was well explained the procedure

The same day I read the article, I went on the Internet and signed up for information on egg donation. Some time later I was called back to make an appointment and that’s where I told my husband about it. I knew his reaction would be favorable. He even thought about donating sperm himself, but he hasn’t taken the plunge yet. For my part, I waited to have the first appointment at the hospital. I was then well explained the procedure, the possible side effects, on libido, weight gain or acne. But I was already very motivated, nothing could stop me. After this meeting, I told my friend about my approach. On hearing it, she burst into tears. Me, I was happy to be able to share a little of what she was going through: the echoes, the bites, the stimulations… It brought us closer together. I first had an appointment with a psychologist: she tried to find out why I was making this donation, if I was well aware that these babies would not be my babies… She also tracks psychological illnesses in the family . I then had a medical appointment with blood tests, then an ultrasound.

I would do it again in a heartbeat

Several months passed before I started to prick myself. It scared me, but actually it’s pretty easy thanks to the prick pen. I pricked myself every day in the stomach and had no side effects except a slight swelling of the ovaries a few days before the puncture. The same day, I was not stressed. I arrived at the hospital at 7 a.m. and left at 13 p.m. A speculum is inserted into the vagina and a kind of small aspirator will “suck” the oocytes under local anesthesia. After the puncture, I did not feel any pain. I don’t know how many they took, probably between 15 and 20, they seemed happy. I did not tell my children about it, because they were too small at the time of this donation, but I will tell them about it later, when they understand how babies are made. I, for example, always knew that my father had donated his sperm, and it never bothered me. I never think about this gift, except when I am asked to talk about it, because a cousin or a friend is thinking of doing it. I think everyone should see if they want to. Several years have passed and babies have certainly been born, but I don’t think about it! And if it has to be done again, for example if my friend needs it to be put on a priority list for IVF, I will do it again without hesitation! “

“I filled out the questionnaire during the half-time of a football match!”

Guillaume, 28, father of Adrien, 2, and Antoine, 2 months.

“I had already heard of sperm donation, but it was more of a joke, in American series for example. I don’t think I would have wanted to do this until I had children of my own. One evening, during a meal, we were chatting with friends and they told us that they were having difficulty having a baby. I knew they had been trying for some time, but I didn’t realize it was complicated. I realized how lucky we had been with my wife: we never had any problem conceiving. It all happened very quickly every time we wanted a baby.

That same evening, we discussed it with my wife. We each decided to find out about gamete donation. A few days later, we realized that for her, egg donation would be more restrictive: the center is too far from our home … By mutual agreement, we said to ourselves that it would be easier if I was doing it to me. For both of us, giving is obvious: we are already blood donors.

Everything is anonymous

A few days later, while watching a soccer game at a friend’s house, I saw a campaign message on Facebook. It was the Center for Fertility and Reproductive Biology in my area that appealed for donation. During half-time, I filled out the online questionnaire. I was supposed to be contacted within 48 hours, but I was not called back. I returned to their site and filled out the questionnaire again. There, a person called me. I was scheduled to meet a few weeks later. The same day, I had an interview with a doctor. He checked that there was no history of genetic diseases in the line. I was then placed in a small room. Hands and penis should be washed in a certain way to avoid accidental contamination. For masturbation, it did not pose a particular problem for me, neither blockage nor anything. The collected semen is put in a small box which is then given to a laboratory technician. Everything is anonymous. Then they do tests to make sure the sperm is good to donate. After doing it, I talked about it around me and never had a negative reaction. I think if you’re used to donating blood, it’s easier. I renewed the donation once and I may do it again. We are “entitled” to six donations. I do this at the same time as the plasma or blood donation. Of course, you have to be clear with yourself, discuss it first with your wife or partner, because it is important. I know I did it to give others the chance to be parents and experience what I experience every day with my children. “