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Sonia, mother of Albertine, born in Bali
“My husband had found a job in Bali, Indonesia. We already had a 3 year old baby boy born at home. I knew I was pregnant at the same time he had this expatriation opportunity. What made me decide to give birth there was when I met an American midwife who had set up a center, a kind of birthing center, where Balinese women could come and give birth free of charge. I had two follow-ups: one in France, at the maternity ward, and another with her in Bali, where I went every 6 or 7 weeks. When my maternity leave arrived, I joined my husband. A week before the end, we settled in a guest room in order to be as close as possible to the structure. On the day of the term, I lost the water at the end of the afternoon. As my first childbirth had been very long and I had no contractions, the midwife told me to continue my activities and come at the end of the day. We went for a walk in the middle of the rice fields with our little boy. In the evening we went to the restaurant and on leaving we stopped at the center. I still had no contractions, but the midwife decided to keep me. The acupuncturist, who was present, repeated a session to speed up labor. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I felt very clearly that the baby had already come down and that the expulsion was starting! I was surprised by the violence of the contractions. Fortunately, I was given a hot bath and the pain became more bearable. Two hours after our arrival, my daughter Albertine was born in the water. I see her calm face again, among the white frangipani flowers. It was magical ! She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck.
In Indonesia it is a sign of great luck, so everyone congratulated us! During the whole delivery, my oldest son had fallen asleep in a corner of the room. He did not wake up until after the birth of his little sister. In Bali, the umbilical cord is not cut. We keep the placenta in a basket, wrapped in a cloth, covered with spices and flowers, attached to the baby until it falls on its own. For over a week, we did not move from the house. It was very relaxing. Neighbors would often come by to put flowers and spices on the placenta. The day the cord fell, they baked cakes and gave a big party. Normally, we bury the placenta where we live. But since my husband’s work did not go as he wanted, we all chose to return to France after my maternity leave. On the advice of the Balinese, we brought the placenta with us. It made me stressful at the airport, between customs and the dogs, but they didn’t see anything! We planted it under a tree, in our Parisian garden! “
“In Bali, we put the placenta in a basket, covered with spices and flowers. It remains attached to the baby until it falls on its own. ”
Caltoumi, mother of Tom, born in Germany
“I gave birth to Tom at the maternity hospital in Filderstadt, near Stuttgart. I have lived in Germany for almost ten years, with my partner Frank who is German. At the very beginning of the pregnancy, I felt uninformed, I had to wait until the ninth week to see my gynecologist. So I had to find out about the precautions myself. Other than that, I found the follow-up to be very competent. From the birth, I draw a positive result afterwards, since I recovered very quickly and everything went without complications. It was triggered and it was a decision I made with the chief medical officer. Obviously, it was not a life-threatening emergency, but there was a little uncertainty following the monitoring and I was involved in the decision. During the contractions, the midwives were very present and helped me to try all kinds of positions. Indeed, here, the position lying on the back does not win the majority of the votes. In Germany, the installation of the epidural is much less systematic than in France. When I asked for it, it pissed me off that the midwife waited so long to put it down! I did not understand until after that it was in my best interest and that of the baby. My cervix was opening very slowly and the epidural would have slowed the process even further. The risk was to end up with a childbirth with spatulas. So with a high risk of episiotomy or other injury. In addition, if we “feel” things during childbirth, we are less tempted to put ourselves in positions that may be bad for the baby or the mother. But all this had not been explained clearly to me. So, at the time, I didn’t like it! In Germany, the human aspect is better taken into account, not just the medical aspect. For example, for childbirth, we do not systematically trigger, even after D + 6. If all goes well, we wait for labor to begin naturally. Regarding respect for women’s bodies too, it’s very different. Midwives are generally anxious to accompany the exit of the baby so as to avoid as much as possible a tear or an episiotomy. In France, this is not always taken into account by the teams. I have many girlfriends who still felt pain several weeks after giving birth, while I was jumping like a kid three days later! “
Sophie, mother of Pablo, born in Spain
“I had asked for an international transfer and I was offered Madrid. I arrived in Spain with my 8 month old son and my partner, who works in the same company. Less than a year after my arrival, I was expecting a new baby. During my pregnancy, nothing was too much trouble for everyone. But when we said we didn’t want to know the sex of the baby, people didn’t understand why! Here, it is rather frowned upon: a little as if we did not consider the baby as a person… On the day of delivery, as he did not come out quickly enough, a midwife signaled for a nurse to come. . He sat on the bed and pressed his elbow with all his strength on my stomach. This practice, common in Spain, is however much criticized. Suddenly, I found the childbirth quite barbaric, even my companion was shocked. Fortunately, the work was done quickly. I arrived at the maternity ward at 6 am and Pablo was born at 8:20 am After the birth, again, it is very different from France. In the Spanish maternity hospitals, there are no limits for visits, neither in number nor in hours! I could hear whole families disembarking until midnight! “”
Hélène, mother of Marcel, born in Chile
“I moved to Chile ten years ago with my partner, who is Chilean. When I found out I was pregnant, I chose the public system. I went to the “consultorio” (neighborhood health center) for appointments with the “matrona” (the nurse-midwife). For ultrasounds, you had to go to the hospital. As for everyday life, Chileans love children and pregnant women. What I didn’t like was the caresses on my stomach by people I barely knew! In parallel with the health center, I also went to see a gynecologist and I paid for the consultation, while in the public everything is free. A few hours before leaving for the hospital to give birth, in November, we were at the edge of the Pacific with sea lions and pelicans, just to introduce passing friends to Valparaiso. We arrived at 20 p.m. at the hospital, at 5 cm of dilation, and we refused to allow them to pierce the water bag to speed up the delivery. Here, it’s almost systematic. The midwife in training who accompanied us was top notch. She lent us a huge balloon which I sat on. We took our time and opted for a delivery without an epidural. I only had a 15-minute push at the end of work, and what a magical moment to take Marcel in my arms! After childbirth, we must stay 48 hours in hospital follow-up. The room was full: 8 mothers and 8 babies! Suffice to say that I did not sleep! During the day, when I wanted to rest, the nurse would announce to everyone: “The pediatrician is coming, undress your babies”. There is also the passage of the nutritionist, midwives, doctor, etc. Small anecdote: a nurse asked me very naturally if I wanted to have my tubes tied. “Because of your age,” she told me (I was 31!). In fact, some mothers take advantage of their stay in the maternity ward to “close the factory”. This was the case for my 26-year-old neighbor, already a mother of four children! “