It was a time when we got straight. After many years my own flat in a block of flats, another child, work. Less than two years later, the death of my husband and a shock from which I could not recover for a long time. The disease that destroyed him is one hundred percent curable, but if diagnosed too late, it leads straight to the grave.
We remind you of the text that appeared on the MedTvoiLokony website in 2013.
Beata is 37 years old. Almost as much as Mariusz had at the time of his death five years ago. He was a man in the prime of life when he left. A wonderful father, a loving husband. He chose Beatka while still at school. Inseparable from their puppy years. – Who said that teenage love is immature – teases Beata. – Mine was youthful, crazy, selfless and beautiful. Mariusz and I lived the happiest years of my life – the woman assures.
The fruit of Beata and Mariusz’s love was first Patrycja, now 18 years old. Beata gave birth to her in high school. – A girl from a good home, a great student, and here’s the belly – she laughs now. – Sure, it wasn’t easy. And it was still in those days. I was supposed to go to medicine, I dreamed of a medical career and a comfortable life in the city. But fate gave us Patrycja and made us the best gift. I devoted myself to the child and modified my ambitious career plans: I became a midwife.
When Patrycja grew up and the family finally managed to settle down in their own way, Mikołaj was born. It was March 2007. Early motherhood after twelve years of break absorbed Beata completely. The little boy was absorbing. Patrycja, focused on her daddy, did not cause any problems. The family’s life went on a well-beaten track.
– After the birth of my son, I went a little crazy – admits Beata. – A child in his thirties. Conscious decision, full maturity and readiness to accept it. I was absorbed in it. I remember in the summer when Mariusz started to complain of back pain. He worked physically, so we figured it was probably a job. He went to the doctor and came back with prescriptions for painkillers. After them, the ailments subsided somewhat. Life went on.
Beata, even now, it is difficult to talk about the beginnings of her husband’s illness. Although he knows that it is forbidden to think so, there are reproaches: what if they were close to each other then, if they found time for intimacy in this daily race? Perhaps she would discover what her husband was hiding from her. Beata works in the health service. He knows the environment. Maybe if she had known then, if he had squeaked a little word, she would have known how to act. Where to direct, what to do so that Mariusz does not bite the ground now. He could watch his children grow up.
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At the beginning of 2008, Mariusz looked terrible. – Backache returned with redoubled strength. He got an unhealthy complexion. So dry, slightly shining. It was only to his doctor at work that he decided to confess what worried him. Strongly enlarged, inflamed nucleus. Which guy will admit to something like this right away? The doctor gave my husband an ultrasound. She was scared – says Beata. – The cancer Mariusz came to her with was at an advanced stage. We got the final diagnosis on Valentine’s Day. Less than two weeks later, I got my husband operated. But there were already metastases. Affected lymph nodes and cancer cells also appeared in the lungs and liver. It is a malignant tumor that, if left untreated, spreads to other organs at a rapid pace. Quickly detected, it can be completely manageable – says Beata.
And she continues: – The fight for my husband’s health and life began. The husband responded well to the chemistry. I didn’t know him that way. I was afraid that the disease would break him down, make him depressed, and he was cheerful. He comforted us and everyone around him. Like a lifeline, he grasped at the words of a doctor from Gliwice, who claimed that a serious cancer could be cured anyway. He believed her. He did not allow himself to think that he might not recover. Where are we talking about death? She was already lurking behind the door, and we lived with the hope that we would overcome the disease. After all, we are young, we have two young children. Honest, normal, just happy with themselves. God does not allow such families to be destroyed.
Mariusz finally died in November 2008 of a cerebral hemorrhage. The tumor that ruptured inside the skull was caused by metastasis. It grew in the exact same place where one had already been removed two months earlier. The man seemed to have the worst behind him. The most important organ, the brain, was operated on. Unfortunately, the family’s joy was short-lived. The disease did not let go. The man died without regaining consciousness, a year and a half after the first complaint to his wife: Beatka, my back hurts. He didn’t tell her that his testicle was slightly red and enlarged.
– I needed several months to stick together after Mariusz left – says Beata. – Mikuś, who was then one and a half years old, lived with his grandparents. Patrycja was with me, but I vaguely remember those dark days of the deepest mourning. I was not able to talk to anyone, meet anyone. I went to work and acted like an automaton. It was heartbreaking to hear good advice like: Get a grip, you have kids. Sure, it was thanks to the children and for them that I rose from this abyss. The time has come that Mikuś has returned home. I signed him up for kindergarten. It was for the children that I got out of bed in the morning, made breakfast, took Patrycja to school. I started talking to my friends. First on the phone, then someone dropped by for a coffee. Patrycja pulled me out to people. During her father’s illness and after he died, she wrote a blog. It was her way of dealing with the trauma. In it, she described her deepest experiences, shed the most sincere and painful tears. But one could also read word for word how she was able to process this trauma in herself. How she rose to life, to ordinary, everyday events.
Beata does not think about a relationship with a new man. – I do not swear, but I have no such need. I had many wonderful years with Mariusz. It is irreplaceable. I visit him with the children at the cemetery. I talk to him on nights at work. I say: I’m so tired, maybe you will do something so that this duty is not too heavy – Beata laughs.
– Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my husband, that I don’t exchange even a few sentences with him. His death turned my insides upside down. It gave meaning to new values, pushed other, generally prosaic matters into oblivion. Mariusz has overcome a dangerous disease, but there is a part in me that will never come to terms with his death. I believe that what all this is for, although I have no idea why. I believe that we will meet again – says the woman.
Doctor’s comment:
Malignant tumor of the testicle can occur in a man of any age. However, it is most often seen in the 15-35 age group.
The etiology of the disease remains unknown. Testicular neoplasm has been observed more frequently in the case of: testicular failure, even after it has been brought into the scrotum, in infertile patients, in the case of the father’s disease, and in the case of AIDS.
Due to the easy accessibility of the organ, testicular cancer should belong to the group of early diagnosed disease, unfortunately it can be different. The self-examination of men and the degree of their awareness play a decisive role. The main symptom of the disease is a painless hardening or lump of the testicle and a feeling of heaviness in the testicle. Any change in the scrotum should be a signal for an immediate visit to a urologist.
The effectiveness of the therapy depends on the stage at the time of referring to the doctor and the type of cancer and its malignancy. Statistically, you can get 98-99 percent. cure. However, around 4 percent is recorded. deaths from testicular tumors (USA). I emphasize the need to consult a doctor early.
The simultaneous, bilateral occurrence of testicular cancer is noted in about 1-3%. cases. Testicular tumor incidence is approximately twenty times more common in men who have received treatment in the past for secondary testicular tumor.
The loss of one testicle does not affect sexual function (while maintaining the normal function of the other testicle). The loss of both testicles will gradually diminish sexual function. In order to effectively prevent this, the administration of synthetic testosterone preparations is used.
Bow. med Wiesław Jaskulski
Urologist, surgeon
Bydgoszcz
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