In Poland, the number of diagnosed malignant neoplasms is growing. More and more Polish women die of breast cancer. There is a human being behind each of these numbers. Often one who has already heard that his life will end soon. How is dying talked about? Karolina Sawka, a psychologist who supports oncological patients, explains for MedTvoiLokony.
- From 1999 to 2017, the number of malignant neoplasms in Poland increased by almost 50%.
- The number of Polish women who die of breast cancer is also constantly growing. In 2020, it was about 41,8 per 100 thousand. women
- – For cancer patients, the worst thing that can be done is not to talk about death, about leaving – says the psychologist
- You can find more such stories on the TvoiLokony home page
Agnieszka Mazur-Puchała, Medonet: You work with cancer patients on a daily basis. Some of them received a diagnosis that leaves no illusions. Are you talking to them about dying?
Karolina Sawka, psychologist: Of course, everyone is different, but I’ve noticed that for cancer patients, the worst thing that can be done is not to talk about death, about quitting. Their loved ones often cannot come to terms with it, so they say it will be fine. “Mother, you can make us dumplings for Christmas”. And mom knows she won’t do it anymore. However, you have to sense the sick person. Some of them need hope.
But at the same time, it is not that when we speak about death unequivocally and ultimately, we take this hope away from them. Dying is a taboo subject in society. Yes, it is difficult, but you have to talk about it.
A sick person needs a sense of security, and it is also largely related to a formal arrangement of things. You have to talk about finances, about access to your account. Contrary to appearances, then it is easier to deal with the disease, because these everyday matters are already sorted out.
So the family of a cancer patient shouldn’t avoid talking about what will happen after their death? It sounds very brutal.
On the contrary. Sick people are aware of their situation, it is no secret for them. And establishing formal matters allows the burden of thoughts about family safety to be taken off the shoulders of an oncological patient. He needs strength to deal with the disease, and that is what he should devote his energy to. Not to worry about what will happen when he’s gone.
Due to the pandemic, most hospital wards are closed to visitors. This means that some terminal patients die alone in hospital beds?
The situation for cancer patients in a pandemic is dramatic on many fronts. Diagnosis is delayed, and so is treatment. Patients contract COVID-19 from each other. And yes, families are not allowed to visit them. In my department, we have very understanding staff and management. If we know that these are somebody’s last moments and we have to say goodbye, the family is admitted to the sick person. I remember the times when there were three or four people in the room saying goodbye to their grandmother and mother. Now is different. These are the terrible tragedies that take place outside the hospital walls. And no one sees it.
Diagnosis: cancer is seen by many as a death sentence, although it is a disease that is defeated in many cases. What do you do when a patient comes to the clinic without the will to live? One whose prognosis is good, but he’s convinced it’s over?
First of all, I listen to him and try to make me feel that he is not alone in this fight for his health and life. When a patient is given space to say aloud about his fears, fears and emotions, it often turns out that apart from the disease itself, there is something else, another problem, a worry that can have a very large impact on this will to live.
Sick people come to my office, but each of them has their own history, life, which may not have been easy before the disease, and the diagnosis has deepened this condition. You have to remember this.
And what can relatives of someone who is in treatment but has lost the will to fight?
The fear of relapse or deterioration of health is very common in cancer patients. The first thing to do then is to find out if this fear is problematic. Isn’t it depression – then it’s worth proposing the help of a specialist. The life of an oncological patient who is constantly afraid of dying is actually more difficult and mentally debilitating than death itself.
In addition to the help of a specialist, the conversation itself is also important. It is good to ask the sick person what they need and what we can do for them. How to help make him feel safer.
Do cancer patients who have been cured forget their fear?
It is very often not the case. Among cancer patients it is difficult to return to a normal life after the disease. Cancer treatment is a long and arduous process, so they develop a system of chronic fatigue. The effects of chemotherapy or radiotherapy are felt for a long time. The patients are therefore deprived of energy, although theoretically nothing is wrong with them.
There is also the same mechanism that we observe in prisoners leaving the prison after many years. They go out and don’t know what to do with each other. After cancer, it can be hard to get back to normal. Patients are excluded from professional life and are constantly afraid of relapse.
This is a very difficult process that takes time. How much? There is no one specific answer here. Everyone is different. Some will feel fear for most of their daily life, others mostly about recurring checkups. Stress and fear are part of our life, and of the sick person also and those who have recovered from the disease.
Also read:
- Tumors that kill fastest
- A trivial ailment or a cancer? 10 symptoms you should worry about
- Polish women die of breast cancer. Money from the government is not helping
- The most common malignant neoplasms among Polish women and men
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