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How to stop demanding too much from yourself and scolding even for small failures? Ten steps towards yourself.
Living in the modern world is not easy – the list of requirements that make us at work, in the family, in society is growing every day. However, this does not mean that we should become even more demanding of ourselves, and perceive any mistake or failure as something unforgivable and unacceptable. Praise yourself and take it easy on yourself. Because you, like no one else, deserve a good attitude.
Pass the tests
- How do you feel about yourself?
1. The right attitude
Start the day on a positive note. While getting ready for work, repeat to yourself (or out loud) positive remarks. For example, “I am strong” or “I will succeed.” After a certain number of repetitions, you will believe in it, become stronger and stop doubting your success.
2. Give yourself a day off
Dedicate a day to yourself regularly. Do only what you like. Sign up for a spa treatment, play a sport you’ve wanted to try for a long time, go on a shopping spree, or take a meditation class. Try to plan this day in advance. Planning a pleasant event makes us happy1.
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- Narcissists know they are obnoxious. But continue to love yourself
3. Be alone with yourself
Being alone with yourself does not mean wallowing in loneliness. Use solitude as an opportunity to recharge and relax. “Only in solitude, the most creative ideas come to mind, and productivity increases,” says Keith Sawyer, a psychologist at Washington University in St. Louis.
4. Learn to say “no”
Learn to think about yourself first. Don’t go out to dinner with people you don’t feel like meeting. Be honest when you are angry or annoyed – do not accumulate it in yourself. And, most importantly, remove from your life “toxic” people who deprive you of vitality and do not provide any support.
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- “Toxic” person: is it time to part with him?
5. Loving Kindness Meditation
Barbara Fredrickson, professor of psychophysiology and lead researcher on positive emotions at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (USA), found that after seven weeks of meditation, there is an increase in positive emotions, which, in turn, are sources of vitality. They increase immunity, give a feeling of calmness, awareness and reduce the risk of depression to a minimum. In other words, love, pleasure, gratitude and hope in your life becomes much more.
6. Take stock at the end of the day
Change your to-do list to “to-do list.” Every evening, sum up the day, not forgetting even the most seemingly insignificant events. Write down all the successes – got out to training, finished the report, received gratitude from the boss … If you constantly concentrate on the good, you will not have time to think about the bad.
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- Should you brag about your accomplishments?
7. Be kind to others
Treat a colleague to coffee, transfer money to a charity account, cook a delicious dinner for your loved one. Being kind to others makes you happier2 and kinder.
8. Be your best friend
You won’t tell your best friend or loved one that he’s fat, a loser, can’t do anything, will you? Then why do you allow yourself to talk to yourself like that? Treat yourself with love and respect, just like your loved ones. Talk to yourself only in positive tones. Self love leads to a happy life. So appreciate yourself, accept along with all the shortcomings and flaws and be happy.
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- Love yourself and your reflection
9. Compliment yourself.
The brain has the ability to fixate on the negative, try not to allow this. Stand in front of a mirror every day and compliment yourself. Yes, the complexion is not very good today, but what beautiful eyes you have! Praise yourself not only for the fact that you have a beautiful appearance, but also, for example, for the fact that you are a true friend and a good listener.
10. Go to bed on time
Chronic lack of sleep affects the brain, undermines the immune system and even impairs memory. Therefore, try not to stay up at night and go to bed at the same time – the body will thank you.
See more at publications of The Huffington Post.
1 A. Kumar et al. «Waiting for Merlot: Anticipatory Consumption of Experiential and Material Purchases», Psychological Science, August, 2014.
2 K. Buchanan «Acts of Kindness and Acts of Novelty Affect Life Satisfaction», The Journal od Social Psychology, № 3, 2010.