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The ability to “read” people is an art that requires serious preparation and constant practice. To understand body language in order to see the true feelings, thoughts and intentions of others, the advice of former FBI agent Joe Navarro will help.
Joe Navarro, former FBI agent and non-verbal communication expert. Life circumstances attracted the author to the study of body language: his family was expelled from Cuba and moved to the United States, where an 8-year-old boy who did not know English learned to communicate using gestures. Experience in the FSB helped Navarro supplement his knowledge of body language. Joe Navarro shared his experience in the book I See What You’re Thinking (Potpourri, 2012). The material was created with the information support of SmartReading. Full summary can be read .
Detecting lies is extremely difficult. The effectiveness of judges, police officers, FBI agents, teachers, parents and spouses in this case does not exceed the level of ordinary fortune-telling (fifty-fifty). Even those who do have a pronounced ability to detect deception are rarely right more than 60% of the time. According to well-known emotion researcher Paul Ekman, the signals that we most often mistake for signs of deception, for the most part, are not about lies, but about stress. There is not a single element of behavior that would unequivocally testify to deception. The Dishonest Behavior Identification Model, developed by Joe Navarro, a former FBI agent and expert in non-verbal communication, is about how comfortable a person feels: it’s hard to stay calm when you’re hiding something.
Signs of comfort and discomfort
- In order to recognize signs of discomfort in the interlocutor, create comfortable conditions for him. How well you can spot a deception is also affected by your behavior towards the alleged liar: how you sit (in what position and how close), how you look at the person (suspiciously or benevolently), and with what intonation you ask questions.
- Make sure that there are no objects between you and the object of observation (tables, chairs and other furniture). Also, keep in mind that liars tend to use obstacles or objects (such as a pillow, bag, or glass of water) to create a protective barrier between you. Such use of objects indicates a desire to distance, fence off or hide.
- Other clear signs of discomfort, manifested in people during difficult conversations: rubbing the forehead at the temple, squeezing the face with the palms, rubbing the neck and stroking the back of the head; rolling eyes (a sign of disrespect), removing non-existent villi from clothing, demonstrating superiority over the one who asks questions, in the form of using monosyllabic, sharp, sarcastic answers, or even gestures with indecent connotations; various ways of “blocking” the eyes, crossing the arms over the chest, turning the torso and feet away from those with whom we disagree.
Read more:
- How to recognize a deceiver?
However, little or no eye contact is not evidence of a lie: in real life, scammers and natural born liars use eye contact much more than most ordinary people, and literally glare at you. The voice of a person who tells lies may become tremulous or cracked. Stress can cause a dry throat and provoke involuntary swallowing movements. This condition can be identified by the sudden sharp movements of the Adam’s apple and attempts to clear the throat. However, these behaviors are merely indicators of discomfort, not evidence of deception.
Paul Ekman
“Recognize a liar by facial expression”
Sequel to the bestseller The Psychology of Lies by Paul Ekman. The training book is designed as a guide to throwing off other people’s masks, but also helps those who want to learn how to better hide their own feelings.
What else helps to see the deception?
Characteristics such as consistency and expressiveness of speech and behavior are also indicators of lies: if the interlocutor does not hide anything, then he calmly and consistently sets out his version, accompanying the speech with natural gestures.
- Consistency is one of the manifestations of a person’s comfortable state. It is necessary to watch for (in)consistency between verbal and non-verbal messages, between the circumstances of the current moment and what the object of observation says, between events and emotions, and even for the consistency of time and space. A typical example of lack of coherence is the behavior of a person who says, “I didn’t do that,” while their head nods in the affirmative. If people catch themselves in this oversight, they immediately change the direction of their head movements, trying to correct the situation.
- Expressiveness is a universal sign of the sincerity of people, it’s a way to let others know how strong our feelings are. Liars tend to decide what to say and how to lie, but rarely think about how to present the lie. Expressiveness is manifested both verbally and non-verbally. Verbal expressive means include the volume and pitch of the voice, intonation and repetition of words. People who naturally use their hands in conversation reinforce their statements with expressive gestures and may even pound on the table. Others emphasize their thoughts with their fingertips, gesturing with them or touching objects. The expressive behavior of the hands serves as an additional confirmation of honesty in words, thoughts and feelings. Mimic means of enhancing the emotional richness of what was said are raising the eyebrows and widening the eyes. Another manifestation of expressiveness is the tilt of the torso forward when you need to show interest.
For more details, see the book by J. Navarro, M. Carlins “I see what you’re thinking” (Potpourri, 2012). Read this and other summaries of useful books on the website