– From the point of view of psychology, international adoption is very different from adoption in the country of origin in terms of the impact on the psyche of the child. It doesn’t matter that there may be better conditions and in general almost heaven compared to the place from where the child was taken. He needs not only to get used to new parents, but also to a new country, a new language, a new world. Stress loss is several times higher. The child loses everything in general, including what once helped him survive. It implicitly attracts him to where he was taken from.
And if the adoptive parents, in addition, somehow negatively or dismissively speak about the biological parents of the child, about the country from which he was taken, then this is very hurting. He becomes a tree without roots, his most important years of life, the first years, seem to be crossed out, as if they make him ashamed of them.
Psychologists put forward various assumptions why such tragedies can occur when an adopted child from another country kills his adoptive parents. First, the very rejection and neglect of the adoptive parents to the child’s “roots” – biological parents and country of origin. Moreover, this does not necessarily manifest itself in a sharp form, but rather in an ordinary one. But for a child, the hint itself hurts.
Secondly, disrespect for those super-efforts that the child had to show in order to survive initially, to survive the move, adaptation in a new country, the condescension of such a prosperous “savior” that a foster parent can show to a child. This also offends, makes you angry and provokes aggression. Thirdly, by the time the child was adopted, he could already have formed a destructive attachment, that is, the inability to have close contacts with other people, a tendency to cruelty, unwillingness to follow the norms of behavior, etc.
Foster parents can, through love, patience and attention, correct the form of attachment, melt the heart of a traumatized child. But if they do not have enough strength, if they unconsciously put bans on the manifestation of negative feelings, plus the above is added, then in order to drown out the mental pain, the grown child easily falls into some kind of addiction.
There are approved forms of addiction – sports, career, study, and there are destructive ones, like drugs, which, of course, one day release from the shadow part of the soul everything displaced from early childhood – anger, resentment, shame. And it is the children who bring down the foster parents as the people closest to them. When there is too much repressed pain and anger, it can lead to similar tragedies.