Denis is eleven, and he began to argue strongly with us, with me and my wife. On any issue, he has his own opinion, and he is across. This is joyful because the son is growing up smart, but dangerous because we can lose control of our very, very lively child. This is undesirable. What to do?
The best I can do is speak. So I started doing it: after dinner we finished our tea, there were three of us — my son, wife and I, and I started a conversation, turning to my wife, then to Denis. I said:
— Do you know that a person’s nose grows without ceasing, throughout his life? From birth to death. The older a person is, the longer his nose is, and the most elderly people all the time stick their long noses where they should not. But our other organs grow unevenly. Who knows what part of the human body is the first to stop growing? Guess what, legs. As a guy turns from a child into a teenager, he seems to be still growing, but in fact his spine is growing, and the length of his legs almost does not change. And it’s good, you no longer need to buy trousers for growth! But there is another important age-related change, my beloved wife — our children begin to grow wiser quickly! Parents usually suffer from this, but, unfortunately, it is inevitable, at least in our case! Denis is all in me, he had a good head since childhood, and now the age has come when you, Denis, develop your mind at a faster pace. I’m serious: I didn’t even expect, Denis, that your thinking would begin to develop so quickly. And Denis (turning to my wife) argues with us not because he necessarily disagrees with us or, moreover, is against us. No. It’s just that his mind grows and tries all the information on the tooth, from different angles. You know, when puppies are teething, they can gnaw all the furniture in the apartment! Why? Because they need their teeth checked and sharpened. In the same way, smart children at this age have a need to hone their thinking. Previously, children simply trust their parents, but now they want to think everything through, check everything, make sure of everything on their own. Therefore, my beloved wife, be prepared that our son will terrorize us in the near future, ask a lot of questions, doubt everything — well, in general, behave like a very smart one. Be patient and be proud! Son, if your mother cannot stand you, run to me. I will discuss any issues with you and from different angles, even if at first it seems to me that you are contradicting me. And mom, (look at her) when she gets used to it, she will too!
Mom nods. The son is interested, he smiles and listens attentively further. I continue:
— In fact, at this stage of growing up, another important feature appears. For you, Denis, the information that you receive not from us, parents, but from your peers, from a group of equals with you, becomes more important. This is your age feature, and this is right for you. In life you need to be able to act with equals, moreover, you need to learn among equals to become a leader. When this question comes up for you, Denis, come to me, I understand this issue and I think I can help you with this.
My beloved, stop or continue our lecture on the peculiarities of growing up of the younger generation!
— Continue! — just in case, making an uninterested look, said Denis.
— No, I will not! Only if you persuade me. You will say: “Daddy, our beloved, dearest, we are so interested!”.
The chip worked, the son stopped pretending to be a beech, smiled, after which, together with his mother, in chorus, they asked to continue. Hooray! I continue:
— The third moment is the most difficult to survive for our beloved mother. Namely, all mothers have a habit of calling their children children all their lives, or there “my child”. Imagine, a guy may already be 20 years old, and his mother still calls him “my child!”. Well, from now on, Denis should no longer be called a child, but a son, or even easier — Denis! Like an adult. Denis, please — my mother will definitely be wrong about this. Please treat this with patience, it is not easier to raise a mother than you, so as she calls you a child, squat together 10 squats. You can push up.
Let’s rehearse! Mom, what will you name our child now? — It is clear that friendly family squats followed this provocation. I continued again:
So, dear son, the fourth feature of your growing up is that at your age only real things become interesting. Just talking about nothing, talking in general, leading to nothing useful — these conversations become uninteresting. Everything superficial, empty, is discarded. You will be more and more drawn to what is not empty, to what leads to real achievements. And I hope that we, your parents, are successful enough people that it always makes sense for you to listen to us. I think we will remain interesting interlocutors for you throughout the new age. We do not speak empty words, our words are to the point. We are alive, flexible, open — and we respect you.
The son nods and is pleased. I complete:
“Well, if I don’t know the answer to your question, I will always honestly say that I don’t know.
Then for about five minutes we talked about some current small things … — let Denis settle down all this! And after five minutes I returned to the topic and, as it were, summed up for myself: “So, adolescence is three things. The development of the mind, — time. You learn to work together with your peers — two. And three — you focus only on the information that brings real success in life. Throw away everything empty and unnecessary. Can you repeat?» The son repeated this lightly, but reminded: «Mom, I’m not a child!».
«Then let’s kiss Mom!» — and my son and I did it in a race.
Since that day, there have been no serious disputes. Here are the discussions, and interesting discussions — there are much more. He brought some topics, I prepared something for him, including controversial topics, especially for brain training. And I began to tell him more about what affects success in life. And sometimes — even about their work affairs. And I saw — Denis is growing. It became interesting for us to talk with each other!
They say that adolescence is a difficult age. It is not true. Just not everyone is lucky with their parents!