In childhood, crying is a common reaction to pain. Children most often simply do not know how to express negative emotions differently. But most adults are aware of their experiences and know how to restrain themselves in public. However, is this necessary? And how will our life improve if from time to time we allow ourselves such a “weakness” as tears?
“Many of us are ashamed to cry, it seems to us that by doing so we show our weakness. But crying does not deserve such a bad reputation. In fact, tears can be of great benefit,” says coach Martha Luek.
And before talking about how exactly they can help, it is important to properly understand why we cry at all. Most often, tears are caused by one of several reasons: grief from loss, severe stress, resentment due to inappropriate treatment of others, and severe physical pain.
“If we lose a job or get a low grade on an important exam, we may cry because we tried our best and still failed. We cry when parting with a partner. We may cry if colleagues at work are rude or bully us. Yes, it’s perfectly acceptable for an adult to cry in situations like this,” says Luek.
What are the benefits of tears?
1. Crying is an effective and safe way to deal with stress. Stress can push us to flee into addiction (alcohol, drug, behavioral) or irrational behavior. Reckless actions committed under the influence of stress can negatively affect our work, health, self-esteem, relationships, school and other areas of life.
To prevent this from happening, you should allow yourself to pause and deal with your feelings. “Strong emotions can make you burst into tears, and that’s okay! Thus, you give an outlet to the accumulated stress and protect yourself from risky actions that can harm you!” Martha Lueck emphasizes.
2. Crying helps us to notice and solve our problems in time. When we are asked if we are okay, we usually answer yes. At this point, we can really believe it. But when we cry, it is a clear indicator that it is time to change something. If this happens in the presence of a friend or a therapist, they are sure to come in immediately to support us.
If we cry alone, then we clearly understand that we have problems that need to be solved. Tears do not allow us to deceive ourselves.
3. Crying has a beneficial effect on our relationships. “It may sound strange, but tears often help us get closer to our loved ones,” says Martha Lueck. Crying is a state of maximum insecurity and vulnerability. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of trust to cry in the presence of another.
If a loved one hugs and comforts us at this moment, this clearly shows that our trust in him is fully justified, and opens up new opportunities for the development of deeper relationships.
“Crying is normal, regardless of your age or gender. Try at this moment to listen to yourself, to understand what your tears want to tell you. Perhaps they are persistent reminders that it is time to reduce stress levels, solve a painful problem or deal with relationships, ”the psychotherapist sums up.