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Why does my child need an adult to play
He benefited from the permanent presence of an adult. Since his earliest childhood, he has always been used to being offered activities and having someone to play with: his nanny, a friend, a nursery nurse…. At school, it’s the same, every minute of the day, an activity is organized. When he comes home, he feels unsettled when he has to play on his own! Another explanation: he did not learn to stay alone in his room and explore his toys on his own. Are you sure you are not being a little too much on her back, or too directive: “You should rather color the elephant in gray, dress your doll in this dress, watch out for the sofa…”. Finally, perhaps he was too deprived of his mother. A child can often experience a feeling of insecurity that prevents him from exploring the outside world and taking a little autonomy.
Trust my child to teach him to play alone
From 3 years old, the child is able to play on his own and can endure a certain loneliness; this is the age when he deploys all his imaginary world. He can spend hours making his dolls or figurines dialogue and putting together all kinds of stories, provided however that he can do it in complete freedom, without being disturbed. This is not always easy to accept because it assumes on your part that you have previously integrated the fact that he can live without you and without being under your constant supervision. Try to convince yourself that it is safe to stay alone in his room: no, your child will not necessarily swallow plasticine!
First step: teach my child to play alone by my side
Start by explaining to him that we can play next to each other without always being with each other and offer to take his coloring book and his Lego next to you. Your presence will reassure him. Very often, for the child, it is not so much the participation of the adult in the game that prevails as its proximity. You can go about your business while keeping an eye on your child. He will be proud to show you what he has achieved on his own, without your help. Do not hesitate to congratulate him and show him your pride “to have a big boy – or a big girl – who knows how to play alone”.
Step two: let my child play alone in his room
First make sure that the room is well secured (without small objects that it could swallow, for example). Explain that a growing boy is able to be alone in his room. You can encourage him to like staying in his room by putting him in a corner of his own, surrounded by his favorite toys, while of course leaving the door to his room open. The noise of the house will reassure him. Call him or go see him every now and then to find out if he’s okay, if he’s playing well. If he seems distraught, avoid sending him back to his Kapla, it’s up to him to find out what he wants. You would increase his dependence on you. Just encourage him. “I trust you, I am sure that you will find on your own a great idea to occupy yourself”. At this age, the child is able to play alone for 20 to 30 minutes, so it is normal for him to stop to come and see you. the air of having fun, I’m preparing the meal ”.
Playing alone, what is the interest for the child?
It is by letting the child explore his toys and his room alone that he is allowed to create new games, invent stories and develop his imagination in particular. Very often, he invents two characters, him and the character of the game, in turn: nice or bad, active or passive, this helps to organize his thinking, to express and to recognize his contradictory feelings while being sure to remain the master. of the game, the great organizer of this event which he himself constructed. By playing alone, the child learns to use words to create imaginary worlds. He can thus overcome the fear of emptiness, endure absence and tame loneliness to make it a fruitful moment. This “ability to be alone” and without anxiety will serve him his entire life.