Tatyana Muzhitskaya suggested 6 ways of emergency self-help

“In our culture, there are so-called positive emotions and negative emotions,” says Tatyana Muzhitskaya. — Negative ones, such as fear, shame, guilt, anger, aggression, are usually hidden. It is advisable to sweep it somewhere under the carpet, to pretend that everything is in order with me. This leads to such a disgusting property as freezing.

The person simply freezes, as when using lidocaine. Great, no pain will be felt, but nothing else either. This often leads to depression and psychosomatic illnesses, because the person stops receiving feedback from himself.” 

The moment a person recognizes his emotion, he comes into contact with himself and understands: «I have feelings, I’m alive and it’s normal to have such feelings in such situations.» Therefore, the phrases “Everything will be fine”, “Relax, calm down, do not strain” are not entirely appropriate. “This is a call to disconnect from your feelings in general, to stop feeling everything. “Tune in for the best” — no, it doesn’t work that way, ”explains the psychologist. 

How to deal with feelings of anxiety?

1. Applying the Principle of Adjustment and Leading 

As already mentioned, the first step is to recognize the emotion that you feel. Why is it so important? “I understand that I have a point“ A ”and I want to move to a point“ B ”- that’s how it is possible. And if I don’t have any point “A”, then I won’t move anywhere, ”says Muzhitskaya. 

After that, you need to try to get destructive emotions out of yourself. Various practices can help with this, such as art therapy, neurographics, dance therapy, metaphorical maps. Thus, we represent our feelings in the form of something figurative. Emotions become objects, and we are the ones who can control them. 

2. Recognize that we cannot always control the situation. Even in peacetime

Often, anxiety works as an indication that we are not in control of anything.

“An adult always has the illusion of control. Because it seems to him: he made a plan for next year, everything will be so. But there are a lot of factors, in addition to even serious and terrible ones, because of which everything can go differently, and 2020 showed this to us, ”says Tatiana Muzhitskaya. 

If we expect it to be sunny tomorrow, then we take out a light jacket and shoes. But suddenly it begins to snow, we get terribly annoyed and angry because of this. 

So both shame and guilt arise from the difference between expectations. Then it is important to admit: “Yes, everything turned out to be different from what I thought — completely different.”

“If you stop planning and predicting, then you should take it, feel yourself:“ I am alive, whole, healthy, I have arms, legs, a clear mind — and this is important. At this moment, it ceases to be scary, because you understand that even in peacetime, a system failure is possible. 

3. Throw away accumulated cortisol

If we consider the feeling of anxiety at the hormonal level, then the hormone cortisol is responsible for it. And he has one property that is important to remember — he is reset through movement. “You can’t sit on a chair and try to calm down,” the psychologist reminds. “So run, jump, sing, laugh out loud and even cry: tears are a great way to relieve stress.”

4. Use bilateral stimulation

An easy and quick tool that helps to cope with anxiety is associated with the concept of bilateral stimulation — when we alternately engage the right and left hemispheres of the brain. 

“At this moment, the state changes,” says Tatyana Muzhitskaya. — Globally, the attitude to the situation will not change, but our condition … You can see: we turn pink, a blush appears. Both hemispheres begin to work in such a mode that a certain release of excess tension occurs. 

5. Activate the thinking of Sherlock Holmes

“The brain tends to generalize because it cannot capture everything that is happening around — it’s too much for it. And he grabs some points, ”explains the psychologist. 

Let’s do a quick experiment.

This is also a “don’t think about the white monkey” exercise: when we focus on one thing, we begin to think about it. 

So a very simple effective way is to turn on the so-called thinking of Sherlock Holmes. Remember, in the Sherlock series starring Benedict Cumberbatch, with the help of editing and graphics, they showed very well how the detective expands the boundaries of his consciousness and pays attention to more details: there are crumbs on the coat, there is a stain on the floor and so on. So we need to specifically expand the focus of attention.  

6. We do not refuse pleasure

If you pay attention to the structure of the preparation for the memorial ceremony, you will notice the following. We remember that cortisol is released through movement. And it turns out that mourning is an active process, where there is a certain set of actions: to gather guests, prepare a table, find a gathering place, and so on. 

Oddly enough, when a person does all these things, then dopamine is produced in addition: we set ourselves clear feasible tasks, put, even if imaginary, ticks next to completed tasks and feel satisfaction.

“How to make life win? It is in these conditions that you can feel it as much as possible!” — says Tatiana Muzhitskaya. “It’s time to introduce the hashtag #life is not ashamed,” as someone wrote to us in a comment. So eat delicious food from beautiful dishes, go to movies and museums, laugh with loved ones and breathe fresh air. And if it is important for you to live a difficult moment with all your emotions, then do not forget to release stress with the help of movement — sports and walking should help you.

^{Text: Tatyana Zasypkina}