Observation: children never quarrel with the walls in the house, although the walls constrain and force them much more often and more severely than the parents themselves.
Indeed, I want to run from the nursery to the kitchen, and then the wall gets in the way on the road, I have to turn through the door! And every day, and every time, evil is not enough!!
So? Not so?
Not this way.
Normal children are not angry at the walls and are not offended by the gravity of the earth. Normal children get angry and offended by their parents, who do not feel sorry for me if I hit the corner of the wall and tore off my knee when I fell on the road. When the bright day is pushed back by the black night, the children do not scream at the nasty night, but at the nasty parents, who are now driving them to sleep.
Why?
Because it’s useless to get angry at the walls, but it helps with mom. Because a good cry can create a feeling of guilt in dad and he will buy ice cream after, but you can’t get ice cream from gravity. Because you can’t argue with the night, but you can argue with your grandmother.
Morality:
Before you feel sorry for a crying child, first of all find the one whom he has now chosen to manage. This person may be closer to you than you think.
Why do children cry
Children do not cry in vain.
Children, while not frightened, easily and openly answer the question: “Who are you crying for!” «Mom!» «What for?» “Why doesn’t she let me go for a walk!”
normal managerial influence.
Here is a child knocked on a chair that he had knocked down and in desperate crying runs into another room to his mother so that you would take pity on him. Yes, but at the door he runs into you: “Why are you crying?” Let. The child stops, stops the roar (!!), raises his dissatisfied eyes, throws: “I’m not crying for you!”, And turning on the roar, runs to the one to whom he intends it: to his mother.
With dad, perhaps, he will not cry, because dad does not regret here, but gets angry and offers to put him in order in the children’s room.
Your children’s crying is their way of controlling you. desire to control you. Trying to control you.
Certainly. Well, do not listen to you?!
This is their way of influencing you, just as your anger, chagrin, tired shoulders and the expression of suffering on your expressive face is your way of influencing them. In the field of life, everyone is looking for opportunities to control the other, and healthy children use what they have and what affects you.
And what affects you?
Morality:
Before you feel sorry, upset or angry, first of all figure out what the child wants to achieve with his crying. You can directly ask him about this: “And you cry because you want — what? What do you want me to do?» In this case, the child learns to express his desires in a more civilized way: not by crying, but by direct speech.