The word «De» literally translates from Chinese as «good deeds.» However, if we consider this concept deeper, then its meaning lies not so much in the intentional «causing» of good, but in creating a harmonious atmosphere for oneself, loved ones and people around. What practices help to get closer to this state?
There are people to whom such an attitude towards life is inherent in itself. But most of us worry every day because of dozens of problems and only dream of inner balance and emotional stability.
Let’s start with some scientific facts.
Aggression shortens life
European scientists have created a scale of hostility, which determines the average level of aggression in a particular community. This index, according to some studies, correlates with life expectancy: the more aggressive the society, the lower life expectancy.
It would seem logical: where people behave aggressively towards each other, there should be a high level of crime — hence the earlier mortality. However, the criminal factor is not the only cause of premature deaths.
Hostility literally shortens our lives
As we know, we have chromosomes, and at the end of each chromosome there are telomeres — such “caps”, tips that shorten with age. A person is born with a telomere length of 15-20 thousand base pairs, and dies with 5-7 thousand. Telomeres are called cell division counters: their length is related to how many more times the cell can divide. So, with the potential duration of our life.
So, it has been experimentally established that in response to stress, a specific enzyme, telomerase, is produced in our body, which is designed to restore telomeres. We survived — and recovered at the cellular level. Telomerase «doesn’t work» if our hormones change (which hostility helps).
Thus, hostility in the literal sense of the word shortens our life: not only because in an aggressive state we risk becoming victims of counter aggression, but also due to the internal mechanisms built into us.
Less aggression or more positive?
Scientists and doctors are studying how to reduce aggression. And in Eastern practices, it is customary not to go from the opposite — that is, not to reduce something bad — but to move from good to better. Not to focus on the negative, but to cultivate the positive traits that we have.
When a person does not understand something, in Chinese he formulates it as follows: “I understand this quite a bit.” That is, in every misunderstanding there is a very small share of understanding that you just need to develop — and the situation will clear up.
This formulation contains a rather deep internal philosophical approach to solving any problems: when a person is angry, he has the very Te that we talked about at the very beginning — just a little bit. It needs to be developed and cultivated. How to do it?
Set the hourly chime and experience inner silence for a few seconds
First of all, transfer your attention to this grain of harmony, kindness and tranquility. At first, it sounds strange: you are late for an important meeting, you are stuck in a traffic jam, everyone around cuts each other off and does not let you in … And then you are recommended to shift your attention to your gentleness, a sense of love and acceptance of the world as it is. Very unlikely!
However, any ability is gained through practice. Meditation is one of the best ways to cultivate a sense of harmony within. And to master this practice, I give my students the following task: put a reminder on your phone, and when the signal sounds, plunge into inner silence for a few seconds. If you are driving, of course, do not close your eyes — just «feel» the silence inside for a few seconds.
Teaching this approach helps a person much faster than telling them to sit in silence for hours and concentrate. After all, we study “in the fields”, in a natural environment that always throws up something unexpected.
«Growing» Te
If at least for a week you set yourself the goal of a little “grow up” Te — a sense of harmony and acceptance — then I recommend taking the following steps.
1. Take 15 minutes to create a comfortable atmosphere for yourself, retire. Remember one of the most pleasant moments of unity with nature, other people, or just a feeling of complete harmony with yourself. Each of us has such a memory: perhaps from childhood or from some trip where you saw off an unforgettable sunset in the mountains, or from the experience of communicating with loved ones. Dive as deep as possible into this state, «soak» it.
2. Set the hourly signal and, as soon as you hear it, “plunge” into this state for just a few seconds. When you encounter an annoying situation, before you overreact, try to «load» this state again. This is one of the most difficult exercises, and in order to succeed, it is important to remember the following.
- First, we have only fractions of a second between the event itself and our reaction. For some, this gap is more pronounced, for others it is almost invisible. Therefore, you need to switch attention immediately: the irritating factor is followed by a micropause — and you use it to remember your task. About the fact that you need to go not to the usual state, which is usually “launched” at such a critical moment, but to a new one that you choose consciously.
- Second, choose relatively easy situations to practice. You don’t have to immediately aim at a benevolent communication with someone who has been causing you negative emotions for the last 10 years. Practice on more or less harmless moments: someone cut you off in traffic. Or stepped on your foot in a vehicle. With relatives, everything is more difficult, but with “distant” ones, setting up a new quality of the state is quite simple.
As you train Te, you will turn it from just a force into a “superpower” and will be able to activate this state at any, even the most difficult moment of life.