Tango, salsa, twerk: why not all dances are equally useful

“Dancing has changed a lot. Now I perceive people differently, I have a more cheerful attitude to life and “I don’t worry,” says 41-year-old Marina. I am learning to trust men. I manage a department in a large company, I make decisions myself. By nature, he is more of a leader. The guys at school during class tactfully ask me to “be a girl” and not lead them along. Before, I would have been offended, but now it touches and pleases me. ”

39-year-old Lana, salsa classes help to get to know not only people, but also the world and herself. Together with the team, they traveled half the country for festivals and parties. And it turned out to be normal: to break loose for the weekend and rush to the other end of Russia just to dance. “In any city, wherever I come on business, I have somewhere to go, and there I will be my own. There is no need to even talk about the circle of acquaintances: we have everything from crane operators to bankers. And at the same time, no one pays attention to the social status, the criterion is different – a convenient partner or not.

For 42-year-old Larisa, moving to music is a source of energy and a way to cope with a bad mood: “When I’m sad, I dance. I turn on the song and think: cry, or what? But the rhythm dictates – move. And no more tears. When I need female energy to nourish the people I love, I dance again. When I feel that I am stupid and blinkered, I take a new style. For example, samba instead of the east, and the body changes its usual movements, leaves the comfort zone, the brain also thinks differently.”

Unlike sports, in dance the body develops more harmoniously, the mechanisms of connection and integrity are established, says Lyudmila Ilyukhina, teacher of the Argentine tango school Elcentro. “If you dance in a couple or a group, then communication skills, contact and the ability to hear another are pumped, but at a deeper bodily level.”

“If we do something with the body, it is well remembered, and we come out of the experiences of the past. Working with the body, we can only be in the “here and now” moment, where these experiences are processed. Any physical work gives people confidence. I have learned something and I can feel it. That kind of confidence is hard to take away,” explains body-oriented therapist Alexei Yezhkov. – In addition, in dancing, the physiological state changes, the hormonal background and homeostasis improve. At the moment of physical activity, parts of the brain that do not work or are not active enough when we sit in a chair turn on.

Sometimes the dance engages the ancient – reptilian – brain, plunging into a deep trance state. This is especially evident in ethnic dances. “Shamans healed people just like that when, together with their fellow tribesmen, they entered trance states, during which the traumatic material was utilized with their help or with the help of a group. When we dance in a group, the collective unconscious is at work. Together we help ourselves and others to process difficult experiences, at the expense of tangible things, mirror neurons, quite explainable by science, while not pronouncing the experience.”

Not every group is a support group

Any bodily work is useful, Alexey Yezhkov believes: “We are social beings, and most of us need society. A group that works with the body is also a social environment, and participation in it helps our psyche literally acquire the skills of contacting, feeling ourselves and others through ourselves. There is such an idea in Gestalt: we all want contact, but because of the traumas that have affected each of us to one degree or another, we interrupt it in various ways, interrupt the rapprochement. We reach out to each other and at the same time unconsciously put various obstacles in the way.

That is why dance simultaneously shows difficulties in communication in everyday life – at work, in the family, with friends – and helps to see and, possibly, correct our social gaps. If we want to learn how to communicate, understand a partner, build relationships with a group, we should not go to the gym, where we only contact with pieces of iron, but dance.

“I started training about 10 years ago,” says 29-year-old Sergey. – Then I was still young, green, “wooden”, filled with the desire to try something new. And I plunged into this distant and unusual world for me. Here I found a second family, which is always glad to me, helps and supports, and my wife!”

But 38-year-old Elena had a bad experience. “In dance, it is important to praise the beginner. He already knows that he is doing something wrong. I am always very strict with myself, and then there is the coach, who never noticed my successes, but constantly paid attention to my mistakes. It came to tears. But thanks to my partner, he said that tears in tango are normal. And yet, after a while, I left that school. I want to have fun and be inspired, and not cry from resentment.

It happens that the group does not accept the person as a whole, but his skills. “If the skill is not developed, the group slowly begins to terrorize the member. And if he already had a previously sad experience of rejection or bullying, then retraumatization can occur. It is very important to find “your group”, where the atmosphere is supportive, which often depends on the coach.

Awakening and healing fear

But sometimes, during the dance, dormant or deeply hidden fears and complexes wake up.

“When West Coast Swing had to change partners, I experienced terrible stress,” recalls 27-year-old Alexandra. – It was scary to hug and hold the hands of another man. I was worried that they were not always invited. At the same time, I clearly understood: the invitation strongly depended on my inner mood. Once I managed to move from a minus state to a plus state: I seemed to become more noticeable on the dance floor, and invitations from partners immediately went.

Similar stories are told by clients of Alexei Yezhkov. “And we understand that this is not the end of the world, that there will be a different tune, during which they can invite. Finally, it is not necessary to wait until the last invitation for an invitation, but you can take the initiative, come up first or make it clear to a potential partner that you are ready to dance.

Choose a dance and learn to say no

Different dances affect us in different ways. Clinical psychologist, cognitive-behavioral psychotherapist Anastasia Preobrazhenskaya, over 10 years of her own dance practice and work with clients, has developed recommendations for dance therapy. “Any paired social dance is improvisation. A man learns to lead and direct his partner, to listen to her needs. She catches how a man leads, what impulse he wants to give her. The partner must keep the rhythm of the dance and track the boundaries, which is very important.” According to Anastasia Preobrazhenskaya, dance teaches non-verbal interaction not only on the dance floor.

“The dance technique “Isolation” – the ability to move body parts in isolation from each other – allows you to get in touch with your own body, gives it plasticity and teaches flexibility of thinking and behavior. It helps build relationships.” And all partner dances in one way or another teach us to be aware of our own boundaries and respect the boundaries of the other.

• salsa and bachata – two of the most popular types of social Latin American dances. “They are suitable for people with social anxiety who are unable to connect with themselves and with others. There is a lot of improvisation and no memorized schemes. Lots of vitality and sexiness. Salsa and bachata are suitable for people with eating disorders because they radically change their own idea of ​​​​beauty. “Usually, women who are unhappy with their figure have a rigid image of the ideal of beauty. And they adjust themselves to model thinness. In Latin American culture, forms are valued and how a woman knows how to manage them. A thin woman can do this too.” But those who have experienced sexual abuse should choose these dances with caution: close contact can awaken trauma.
  
• African dances (this also includes the Cuban rumba) reproduce ritual movements. “They have a lot of life. I advise them to those who have asthenia, anemia, depression. People feel a surge of vitality, for which some go to the taiga, raft down the river or choose extreme sports. But all this can be found in dance. In women, especially those suffering from anorgasmia, sexual energy awakens. Men have increased masculinity. This is especially important in modern culture, where the intellect is preferred over the body.” Classes are held under the African drums. Vibrations permeate the entire body and trigger deep processes.
  
• Eastern dance – change ideas about the figure and beauty, help to find contact with the body, train femininity. They work out the deep muscles of the pelvic floor, which are involved in achieving orgasm. Oriental dances are also recommended for women with anorgasmia.
  
• Rock and roll and all its derivatives. It’s a couples dance, but unlike latin, it doesn’t have a sexual context, so it’s safe for people with social anxiety and abuse trauma. There is a lot of joy, humor, laughter and energy.
  
• Argentine tango, which also has a lot of sexuality, but more mature than in salsa or bachata. The dance itself is more intellectual. Close contact looks softer and more accurate. The exact ability to hear and give impulse is important. “This is a very subtle direction that not everyone can understand. A person with a highly developed maturity will see in him a lot for himself and his development. Eye contact plays an important role: you need to meet your partner’s gaze and hold it for a couple of seconds – this will be considered an agreement to the invitation. The skills to give adequate signals and read them correctly will be useful to us in life.
  
• Dance improvisation and jazz safe and very helpful for those who want to gently enter the dance culture, but who have difficulty with close contact due to injuries of physical abuse. “I also recommend it to those who have major clinical depression, those who have difficulty with boundaries and who fall into dependent and codependent relationships. Improvisation allows you to throw out all the blocks, experiences, traumas and live them safely enough. After that, the person can gradually move into partner dances.
  
• Street dancing – hip-hop, break more suitable for men, make contact with their own masculinity and develop self-confidence.
  
• Flamenco – formally a pair dance, but there is no less individuality in it. The distance between the partners is large, there is practically no close contact. It appeals to vibrations and emotions. This is a dance of passion, it gives confidence, helps to realize oneself as a person, promotes understanding of boundaries. Gives the opportunity to throw out aggression.
  

In dance, it is important to learn to say “no”, if something in the interaction does not suit you, without this skill it is better not to start practicing. But it is necessary to choose an acceptable tactful form for refusal. Too close distance: “I’m so uncomfortable, let’s go a little further.” If for some reason you don’t want to dance, you can say, “Thank you, I need to rest.” “The ability to perceive “no” from another is an indicator of the maturity of a person,” says Anastasia Preobrazhenskaya.

“If you are not ready for changes in how you feel about yourself, changes in life and in interaction with the world, then it’s better not to try and start dancing,” sums up Lyudmila Ilyukhina. — I know many examples when people changed not for the better. I think this is due to the fact that, becoming freer and more confident, some showed arrogance. But it means that everything was in them, it was just hiding somewhere, and thanks to the movement of tectonic plates, consciousness was freed and the masks fell off. But, perhaps, this has more pluses than minuses, at least for others.