Contents
Often, especially in recent times of crisis, we encounter interlocutors with whom it is difficult to find a compromise. The head of customer service shared life hacks on how to build a conversation so as not to remain emotionally devastated after it.
let me talk
Sometimes the interlocutor cannot independently find the essence of the problem and discard emotions. To build a constructive dialogue, let the person let off steam. If he wants to share his pain, complain, then let him do it. Of course, in no case should a conversation turn into a stream of complaints and insults. Don’t be afraid to end the conversation if you know it won’t lead to any solution. Unfortunately, there are situations when it is best to postpone the discussion and wait for the interlocutor to be ready to communicate, rather than swear.
Explain the purpose of the conversation
Be honest about your intentions. For example, my colleagues and I use the phrases: «I’m not here to quarrel» or «I want to solve a problem, not argue.» This helps to calm yourself and the interlocutor, to direct the conversation in the right direction. By clearly explaining your goal, you show that you are friendly and want to understand your interlocutor.
Position the person towards you
Anyone likes attention. For a confidential and open dialogue, you need to find the key to the interlocutor, arrange it. For example, you can emphasize his uniqueness: remember some details that are important to him. It is necessary to show that you respect the second participant in the dialogue. Common interests often help win over a person. There were cases when my employees recalled Brodsky’s poems or discussed Bulgakov’s work with clients. Refer to stories from personal experience: remember an event from life, a story about which will show that you are on the same wavelength and understand the interlocutor. Often people like to exaggerate their importance — be flexible and play along. Even a little praise is always nice. Just do not overdo it and do not go to open flattery.
Involve the interlocutor in the topic of conversation
He needs to understand that he is an important participant in the dialogue and arouses your sincere interest. If you are solving a problem, then show that the opinion of the interlocutor affects the final result. The phrases «Help me solve this problem» or «Let’s think together» have and help to establish contact.
Don’t be afraid to admit weakness
If you don’t know what to say to a particular question, be honest and don’t be afraid to admit: «I need to study this information, and then I can answer.» It’s okay if you reply a little later when you can see more information.
Try to disengage from emotions
If you want to build a trusting and effective dialogue with the interlocutor, you cannot remain detached and indifferent, show that the topic of conversation is boring for you. But you should not completely succumb to emotions and take every remark personally. Excessive empathy can make you feel depressed, empty, and emotionally tired after a conversation. If you understand that the conversation will be with a “difficult” person, think about your mental balance and immediately set yourself up not to take aggression personally. For example, an anti-stress toy helps to control oneself and “let off steam”. In moments of great excitement, it works as a good sedative. Try to become an «observer» and look at your communication with the interlocutor from the outside.
Restore your mental balance
My colleagues and I have wise advice: after a conversation with a difficult interlocutor, you can go and wash your hands. Water «washes away» the negative and unpleasant sediment. To calm down and gain strength, you can, for example, be silent for a while. Some of my employees get into the car and listen to their favorite music, just walk and breathe the air. It seems to me that there is no universal way: you need to listen to yourself and find your own recipe that will help you get positive emotions. And in no case do not suppress your negative emotions after an unpleasant dialogue — if you want to cry, allow yourself to do it.
Surround yourself with allies
A person needs communication. Find people who are on the same wavelength with you, always ready to support. I am very lucky with the team, my colleagues and I listen and hear each other, share news and stories. We have a cool tradition of taking a break and playing a quiz. This helps to develop erudition, and the opportunity to compete makes the process even more interesting. After a hard day, we always share our feelings, try to sort out difficult situations and find a solution together. Understanding that you will not be left alone with your emotions is extremely important.