When talking about feelings (difficult feelings), it is natural to speak in a negative way.
It makes me angry, it upsets me, it makes me angry…
But it is important to warn that this is just a conversation about feelings, the other only needs to listen, support, and the expectation of a change in behavior is not supposed here. See Active Listening.
And later there will be no accusations: “I told you, but you did nothing!”
Speaking about behavior (about the expectation of a change in the behavior of a partner), be sure to speak in a positive way (format is positive, constructive, responsible). We are not talking about the past, which was bad, but we are talking about the future, what we want, and formulate it positively. Next, we discuss realism.
Do you need a negative?
Negative, figuratively, is an armed solution to the conflict. Negativity works where there are friends and foes; among friends, there is no negativity. If you make relationships in such a way that people close to you turn out to be strangers and you need negativity — think about it, are you really building around yourself what you need?