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Taking care of yourself is not giving yourself whims
Psychology
The cravings that we indulge in, trying to make ourselves feel better, have more disadvantages than benefits
There are days when we feel sad or discouraged and we try to alleviate this uneasiness quickly. That is why, without much thought, in search of comfort, we decide to buy something we don’t need or we indulge in junk food. What has been helpful for a brief moment is a volatile way of “comforting” ourselves.
When we make such a poorly thought-out decision with short-term personal gain, our brains run riot: “These behaviors are a overreaction as a consequence of a state of mind, from mismanaged frustration, from a depressed or euphoric state … an attempt is made to get out of that uncomfortable emotional state by manifesting inappropriate behavior, which does not solve anything and which can generate physical and mental health problems “, says Vicente Prieto, psychologist specialist in clinical psychology and director of the clinic of the Álava Reyes Psychology Center.
The psychologist Andrés Calvo, co-director of the Persum Psychotherapy and Personality Clinic, explains that these behaviors stem from our limbic system: «It is this area of the brain that, when we feel unwell, asks us, for example, to eat a hamburger . It is this limbic system, which is hedonistic by nature, the one who tells someone who has an addiction to go to it, because he is looking for an immediate benefit ».
In these cases, these irrational behaviors act as a emotional surrogate, which seeks a regulation of our emotions at that time, and that in the long run makes us enter a very harmful loop. “This state lasts for a short time and then you have feelings of guilt, the mood goes down, and you try to solve it again with another period of excitability through compulsive buying or taking a drug, for example”, exemplifies Vicente Prieto.
These behaviors can become very frustrating outside of a short time since they always lead to an unpleasant feeling. “If I buy the most expensive thing in a store on impulse, I will feel better in the short term, and for half an hour I am happy, but then I will regret it”, explains Andrés Calvo.
Faced with these irrational behaviors, the so-called self-care, behaviors in which we ourselves seek our well-being in the medium and long term. “We speak of self-care when a person focuses their attention on improving the most relevant aspects of their life and that will provide them with a higher quality day-to-day,” explains psychologist Prieto.
And what should this self-care consist of? Vicente Prieto gives examples of how, we as individuals, should focus on different planes of our life:
– We must take care of our health, through taking care of our diet, striving to have good sleep habits, exercising, having medical check-ups on time … in short, leading a healthy lifestyle.
– It is important to carry out rewarding activities individually or shared, such as reading, movies, cooking, traveling or going out for a drink.
– We must also take into account friendships: be aware of them, maintain frequent contact, go out from time to time and share things.
– Equally important is the care of our family and couple relationships, and strive for the healthiest relationship possible.
– We must also tell a particle to the work, fulfill their responsibilities, but also know how to disconnect and manage our time well.
It may be the case that we become so obsessed with achieving these self-care that, instead of being beneficial for us, they become a requirement that we are not able to meet. This is how Andrés Calvo explains it: «There are certain people, with pathological personalities, or very obsessive people and demanding, that when they have too high a need for control, make self-care a problem. He comments that, by transforming self-care into a search for excellence, it becomes another factor that makes us feel bad.
To avoid not being able to carry out the idea of self-care, or become so obsessed with fulfilling it that it becomes an impossible goal, Vicente Prieto gives several keys. In the event that we make expenses that we should not on impulse, explain that you can help have a closed budget and not go over this. In the case of food, he states that “food should not be associated with a state of mind” and that we should eat healthily “regardless of what we feel at the time.” But, he points out that, “we must not be too strict” and if at a certain moment, in isolation, we make a purchase or a meal that we did not plan, “there is no problem and we must enjoy it.”