Contents
Hello dear blog readers! A suspicious person is a deeply unhappy person, because he constantly experiences anxiety, anxiety and self-doubt. Where this state comes from, we will try to consider today, as well as recommendations that help to feel calm and achieve stability.
Characterization
So, the main signs:
Suspicion
Such a person is constantly mobilized, as he is in a state of expectation of an attack. She will constantly see possible threats and dangers. To understand how unbearable this state is, try to remember if there were situations with you when someone standing next to you laughed, and you took this laughter personally?
And it seems that reasonable thoughts are rushing through my head that people can just joke that they don’t care about you, but these attempts are unsuccessful, the confidence grows more and more inside that it was your appearance and so on that caused the fun.
Uncertainty
Given the constant distrust of others, over time, having taken root in fertile soil, self-doubt and self-doubt grows like a chic bush. A person does not have the resources to discover reality, he simply does not have enough energy for this, because it takes it to always be on the alert. Why is it impossible to check whether I really am so helpless? Or is it so «clumsy» that others do not appreciate me? Or do I not deserve a good attitude, recognition and respect?
Anxiety
And it is permanent. Everyone, in case of danger or the threat of destruction of something valuable, experiences anxiety, but in a suspicious person it merges so much with the personality, character, that it is experienced by him every second, either intensifying or weakening a little. It seems to become background, no matter what he does, no matter what conditions he is in, she always accompanies him.
Pessimism
It is difficult to look at the world with happy eyes wide open when others wish evil and failures follow failures, which, by the way, can even be far-fetched. Have you heard of hypochondria? This is when a person, having read medical literature, discovers in himself the symptoms of any disease on which the page opens.
And he firmly believes that he has it, which is why he torments doctors with eternal examinations, according to the results of which he can be absolutely healthy, but refuse to believe in it, considering either medical workers to be charlatans and poor specialists, or himself so seriously ill that he they hide it, assuring them of excellent health. And where does confidence in a wonderful future come from? How to feel joy and pleasure?
Obsession
All ideas are really intrusive, they seem to “stick” to him and do not give him the opportunity to breathe deeply. It seems that you want to brush them aside, but your imagination draws such frightening pictures that you can’t relax.
Psychosomatic disorders
Considering what kind of thinking style a suspicious person has, how much stress and fears, shame he has to experience and, in general, endure, it is not surprising that he will really have health problems. It can be problems with the stomach, heart, respiratory organs … Headache is often a frequent companion, sometimes asthenia and, in general, depression.
Causes
As usual, most of our problems come from childhood. They are not born suspicious, they become, and the main characteristics are laid down from about two to six years under the influence of such circumstances as:
1. Style of perception of the surrounding reality of parents
If they are constantly in tension and cannot afford such luxuries as trust, relaxation and confidence, then the child will behave accordingly. How can he know how to respond correctly to difficulties and so on, if for the time being the only example for him is the adults who educate him? Therefore, all that a baby can at this age is to «blindly» adopt the script of one of the parents.
2. Hyperopia
When relatives care too much about their child, protecting them from everything and enjoying the illusion that they are able to foresee and control everything, then the unfortunate and “loved” baby does not have the opportunity to prove himself, to find out what he is capable of, what he wants, what he really has. his character and so on.
And, not knowing how it is, on the other side of parental care, what life really is — he adopts their picture of perception, believing that reality is dangerous, that insidious people lie in wait at every step, and, most importantly, that he is not good to deal with it all on your own.
That is why he grasps at the suggested idea, being afraid to test it for reality, firmly believing, for example, that he is terminally ill with high blood pressure, which is why it is impossible to be nervous, etc.
3. Trauma
There are, unfortunately, situations when the child’s psyche is not yet completely stable and stable, and a situation occurs that it is not able to cope with. Suppose a very significant person scolded for a misconduct, it doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, educator or just a neighbor, the main thing is that he occupies a special place in the life of a small person. And then the child will be hurt, in his soul, which is why he will subsequently “fall out” into anxiety and uncertainty, considering himself bad and unworthy.
4. Insulation
Unfortunately, some adults are not able to give their children love, support them and be around. They can be excellent functional mothers, making sure that the baby is fed, dressed, clean, but there is no emotional intimacy. And then, feeling alienated, the cub will pull this mother’s inability to be sensitive, deciding that something is wrong with him, that’s why she doesn’t love him, or, for example, because of him, dad left the family.
Recommendations
What should relatives do?
- If there is such a person in your environment, you should not take his complaints with hostility, because, feeling devalued, he, on the contrary, will try to convince you, eventually deciding to move away. But this does not mean that it is worth going to extremes and supporting his ideas about incurable diseases, selflessly rushing to save. Just learn to be there without doing anything. Sometimes it is important for a person to speak out, to “open his soul”, even just to be silent.
- Try to limit him from sources of tension, for example, by suggesting that he go for a walk instead of turning over a thousand pages of a medical manual under the pretext that fresh air is necessary for health. Distract, show by your own example that life is valuable and you can enjoy it.
- Be attentive to your children, do not shame them at the first opportunity, blame without guilt, and so on. Support them and remind them that you love them. In addition, it is important to focus not on their shortcomings, but on the contrary, to indicate what they are good at.
What to do with yourself?
- As strange as it sounds, try to help those who need support more than you. Thus, being distracted and feeling needed, self-confidence will grow, and anxiety, on the contrary, will decrease. There are many charitable foundations where you can apply as a volunteer.
- Do you have any hobbies? Maybe it’s time to do something new? Even assuming in advance that nothing will work out for you. New sensations and emotions will not only bring variety to your life, but will also help you feel joy, as the body will begin to actively produce dopamine, endorphins, serotonin…
- Psychasthenics (which means suspicious people) often suffer from sleep and nutrition disorders, so be sure to reconsider the lifestyle you lead. Learn more about what to do in this article.
- In case of trauma from childhood, try to work on it yourself. To do this, choose a time when you will be alone, close your eyes, and, no matter how painful it is, try to remember the situation from childhood, when you were treated unfairly, injured, and so on. Imagine that you are the adult you are at the moment, approach this little frightened boy or girl, hug and soothe. What words would you like to hear at that moment, but no one said? You have the right to do so now. Say whatever comes to mind and stay there until you feel that something has happened, and the little one has calmed down and believed that he is loved. Slowly open your eyes, and try to be alone for a while, rethinking what happened.
- You should immediately begin to increase the level of your self-esteem, you can’t treat yourself like that! Check out the article right here.
- Meditation will help you relax and find a sense of inner harmony, among other things, it also cures many diseases. Learn more here.
- There is not a single healthy person in the world who does not experience stress, so it is very important to know how to deal with it. Psychasthenics need this more than others, so do not let anxiety and panic take over you, use the recommendations indicated in the article.
Conclusion
In addition to this article, I recommend reading «Features of the mechanisms of psychological protection of a person’s personality.»
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Remember that the quality of your life depends only on you, so fill it with what gives you joy, without focusing on the negative. Take care of yourself and loved ones!