Our emotions are related to the quality of our breath. Therefore, breathing is a universal tool for regulating the emotional state. How and why to manage it and how to insure yourself against the accumulation of negativity with the help of special exercises?
We often think of controlling our own emotions in a negative way, imagining a person who has tensed up, gathered his will into a fist and does not let himself worry. Let’s define the terminology: tense up and “will to the fist” – this is the suppression of emotions. For a while, this approach can produce results: we will remain calm, in spite of and contrary to. But we all know that sooner or later suppressed anger, resentment or irritation will break out. And the consequences will be devastating.
Control over emotions is just a decision: I give myself up to the flow of experiences or go out of it, like from a river to the shore. When a person has such a choice, we can say that he knows how to control his condition.
Pause before jumping into the abyss
Sometimes surrendering to the flow of emotions is very useful and pleasant. For example, when we dive into fellowship with loved ones, we experience pure joy. And sometimes you can even feel sad for pleasure: wrap yourself in a blanket, drink a cup of hot cocoa, feel sorry for yourself – and return to your usual life a little different, renewed and happier.
But there is a type of emotion that can pick us up and take us in an unknown direction, just like a mountain stream. On the path of this flow, as a rule, there are sharp stones, against which we beat in a fit of negative emotions: we hurt ourselves and hurt others, dragging us into the abyss.
Pause is a great time to make an informed decision and exercise
Before we dive into the abyss of aggression or sharp, destructive resentment, there is always a pause – a moment when we choose whether to move on into this state or stay on the shore. If a person does not know how to control emotions, he skips this moment of choice, does not notice it, and finds himself already a kilometer downstream. As a rule, with the question “what am I?”.
In case we are practicing mindful handling of our emotional state, this pause is a great time to make an informed decision and perform exercises that will help maintain emotional balance.
Dive into silence
How can we learn to notice these pauses, moments of choice, when we decide on an emotional outburst or immediately suppress it? The second option is typical for people who keep their “will in their fist”: at the moment of conflict, negative emotions become destructive only for them, and only over time – for their environment.
To learn how to control such situations, it is worth mastering the practice of meditation, which introduces consciousness into a state of silence. Vivid emotions almost always develop against the background of an internal dialogue or monologue: we think about what excites us, scroll through words, ideas, memories. And this leads to the fact that the intensity of passions grows.
The ability to enter into silence removes this intensity and has a truly healing effect. And we also have the opportunity to extend the decision-making moment when we choose whether to burn bridges or not. Meditation is an exercise in finding silence, and if we do it regularly, we have the opportunity to get into this silence, clarity, clarity, even in an emotionally acute situation. Take a look at what is happening from the outside and make a conscious, balanced decision: I now surrender to emotions (and then I can predict the consequences) or there are other ways to solve the problem.
The secret of success is not so much in the duration as in the regularity of classes.
It is best to learn meditation in a face-to-face workshop with an experienced master who will teach you to confidently distinguish between a state of silence and daydreaming, contemplation, or just relaxed contemplation. Believe me, there is a difference: once having experienced a state of silence, you can no longer confuse it with anything. We have all come across it, for example, when observing the beauty of nature, when the spirit is breathtaking and there is not a single thought in the head. Our task is to learn how to reproduce this state on demand. For example, through the practice of Shen Jen Gong.
Here is one of the exercises of this practice.
Sit or lie down where you are comfortable. In a relaxed, calm state, when nothing can disturb you, count your breaths. Do not lengthen or shorten your breath, just watch it and count each new breath. At the initial stage, 1-2 minutes of this practice is enough. Over time, it is desirable to bring it up to 10-12 minutes.
Notice how the state changes after you immerse your attention in the breath. Notice all the good feelings. Plan to repeat this exercise tomorrow: the secret of success is not so much in the duration as in the regularity of the exercises.
Breathe in peace
When we are nervous, our breathing becomes shallow. We breathe often and quickly, only with the upper part of the lungs. Most likely, you have heard this recommendation more than once: to calm down, you need to take deep breaths. Let’s clarify how the exercise should be performed so that it gives the fastest effect.
In Chinese medicine, it is believed that excitement, nervousness, anxiety are associated with the rise of energy up – just in time for the tops of the lungs. If you lower it down to the abdomen, where it belongs, we calm down, and the stress recedes. You can believe in this idea, but you can not, the main thing is to try to imagine it all.
Take a deep breath, as if “breathing into the stomach” – with this very breath you redirect the energy down. To keep your attention from wandering, you can use your hands: imagine that you are grabbing the energy at chest level and guiding it with your hands down to your stomach. Keep your palms at a short distance from you and with an inhalation lower them from the chest to the stomach.
Take 10-15 such breaths, accompanying each movement of the hands. Cover your stomach with your palms, as if “packing” the energy in this area.
Breathe out the trouble
If negative sensations remain inside that you can’t get rid of, use the breath again: this time the emphasis will be on the exhalation. Having caught attention to the trouble that prevents you from feeling comfortable, make a long, drawn-out exhalation through your mouth – as if from the depths of yourself, exhaling everything that interferes. Repeat the exercise 10-12 times and compare the sensations, realizing how much freer and easier it became inside.