When providing support, keep track of the presence of contact and real results. We can want anything, but our main controller is not intentions, but results.
- To each his own.
We give predominantly female support to children, girls and women, and male support to strong people, adults and men.
- We combine support with exactingness.
In any case, we insure the tough masculine approach with a soft feminine one, and strengthen the feminine approach with a masculine one↑.
- If there is a task of strengthening and developing the personality, the long-term guideline is a male approach.
First they loaded it, then they supported it. One of the reasonable strategies: one of the influencing parties gives support, the other energizes with exactingness. A variant of the «Good-Evil» strategy.
- We give situationally, not constantly.
Support, like other options for positive reinforcement, is not recommended to be given all the time. In this case, it is perceived as your duty, it stops working, and if you stop doing it, you will receive accusations that you “left” the person. See Reinforcement Strategies
- Support should help the person cope with the situation on their own.
Support strengthens a person when he does something. If a person does nothing himself, there is no one to help in this situation. If a person himself does nothing, doing something for him is not support, but accustoming to parasitism↑. If a person has given up, switched over to the position of the Victim and does nothing himself, only cries and whines, then your “support” already strengthens him, and weakens him — reinforces his whining↑.
- Support — worthy and strong.
If a person is a Victim and a disabled person in life, it is pointless to give him support — this will only confirm him in the position of the Victim. It is necessary to support the strong, it is also difficult for them, although they are not inclined to talk about this.