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When we look after a sick person, especially a loved one, we often focus entirely on their needs and forget about ourselves. As a result, our mental and physical condition may deteriorate significantly. We harm both ourselves and the sick.
A sudden need to care for a sick person turns life upside down. Caregivers are often forced to give up their plans for the coming months, and in some cases even for years, due to the lack of time. By devoting most of your time to caring, it is difficult to maintain natural social relationships. It is often connected with the necessity to resign from work, which cannot be reconciled with the constant care of the patient.
The whole situation requires a great deal of commitment and it seems natural that it should arouse anger in the caregivers. Meanwhile, they very often suppress this type of feeling because they feel that they are out of place, that they cannot complain about changes in their life, because the person they care for is in a much worse situation.
Taking on too many responsibilities and repressing emotions translates into depression in some cases. Research shows that it occurs more often in caregivers than in caregivers and may affect even every second woman taking care of chronically ill patients.
Caregiver team
In these types of situations, you can develop a condition known as the “caregiver’s syndrome”. It appears in people who care for a dependent person for several months or years. They can be recognized by the appearance of various types of fears (“I can’t cope”, “no one can help me”, “I give too little of myself”). Such thinking, in turn, can lead to frustration. There is insomnia, irritation, and a feeling of constant fatigue. In some cases, symptoms are transferred from the patient to the caregiver. Finally, the body stops working properly and psychosomatic symptoms occur. These can include headaches, high blood pressure, ulcers, and even heart disease and diabetes. In a word – the caregiver may need care himself soon.
Support – the cure for the caregiver’s syndrome
However, before the first symptoms appear, it is possible to prevent the development of a “caregiver’s syndrome”. In the first place, it is worth trying to obtain information support, i.e. systematically find out about what is happening to the patient and what care they need. This prevents the emergence of guesses such as “maybe I’m doing it wrong”, “maybe the ward’s condition is getting worse”. The belief that nursing activities are performed well and that the patient’s condition does not deteriorate significantly increases the caregiver’s comfort.
The caregiver should then think about emotional support. Remember that no one expects heroism from you. Your loved ones will be eager to hear about the problems and fears you struggle with. It is a mistake to fear that your friends will reject you because of your problems.
If possible, ask other relatives of the patient for help as well. Remember that if you are rested, you will help the sick person more.
If you are physically unable to cope with your care, you can also think about supporting social services or a paid caregiver.
Material support is also important. People caring for the chronically ill are entitled to various types of supplements. In the case of difficult financial difficulties, you can also apply to foundations dealing with the care of chronically ill patients.
How and where to look for support?
Remember that as a caregiver, the main support for the sick person is you. That’s why you need to be in shape yourself. So if you are tired or need help for some other reason, you can first seek support from your family and loved ones. Your family will certainly understand your problems best, and your friends will allow you to distance themselves a little bit.
However, in relationships with loved ones, there are often problems with asking for help. It is not uncommon for you to feel the guilt that comes from thinking “I’m not doing well enough alone.” However, this is disastrous thinking because every caregiver needs support in the long run.
First of all, get started. Don’t wait for someone to figure out that you need help, and don’t get upset if you don’t get these reactions. Many people may automatically find that because you have done well so far, you will still do well. The only way is through an open request.
Be clear about your needs, saying “I would like you to help me” is not enough. Tell me to what extent and how often you need help. Very often, when a request is made, it turns out that loved ones will be very willing to help, so do not assume bad will or that someone does not have time to support.
If, on the other hand, you need information support, ask for it from organizations dealing with chronically ill people. There you should get all the important tips from people who care for the sick on a daily basis. You can also look for material help in such places, if you need it.