Summer will come – let’s go to the country

According to sociological research by VTsIOM for 2014, about half of the citizens of Russia have a suburban property in the presence of a city apartment. And only one-fifth of them use their dacha when necessary – they grow agricultural products to save money. I am also not included in this fifth part: my dacha is a place to relax, admire flowers and meet friends. And what draws the rest to the dacha, for what do they give it their time, effort and money? Why do people who have never had the experience of dacha or village life acquire this troublesome household? And why does this happen most often in the second half of life?

By your own rules

In youth, at the beginning of adulthood, we intend to settle down safely in the world around us. We get a profession, build a career, start a family. At the same time, we have to adapt to the circumstances, do what is required. And even if it succeeds, many personal needs remain unsatisfied. Somewhere after forty, when the career goes on the rails, the children grew up, prosperity appeared, we sum up the intermediate result and think: what do we lack and how to get it? And often the dacha becomes an affordable way to make up for this lack.

“The city regulates our behavior, dictates our daily schedule and dress code,” says psychologist Sofya Nartova-Bochaver. – In the country, this regulation is canceled, you can dress as you like, scatter things, go to bed and wake up whenever you want, live on the street. It feels like everything is possible.”

Liberty! In the “home-work” format, certain personality traits are in demand (organization, clarity), while others (for example, attention to one’s own needs) are inactive, and sometimes even suppressed. Changing your lifestyle to a country life allows you to discover and realize other sides of your “I”, to awaken your inner child. We acquire a small “piece of this world” at our personal disposal and can subordinate it to our own rules, and not vice versa. We are mastering the territory, building our own little world in which we can realize ourselves.

Gallery of portraits

As you know, all people are different, needs also differ, and summer residents try to become happy in different ways. I am curious to observe the neighbors and ask my summer residents friends. Sometimes, only by the arrangement of the site, I can understand the main motives of their predilection for the dacha.

Andrei is 48 years old, on his site there is a barbecue area, a spacious bathhouse. “There is nothing more beautiful than gathering old friends – we rarely see each other, everyone has things to do. And in the country, you can sit and talk without haste at the table, the children frolic in the garden, no one interferes with anyone. Then we’ll go to the lake, then we’ll take a steam bath, and by the night we’ll gather around the fire again – good!” In the city, Andrei lacks calmness, friendly faces and the simple joys of being in nature.

Tatyana is 56, at the dacha she creates a new landscape: “I made two terraces on the slope of the site, dug a decorative stream, I am planning an alpine hill. I feel a bit like a god that changes the face of the earth. I don’t work more than I want to. Then I drop the shovel and go straighten the tendrils of the grapes, pulling out a few weeds along the way. Then I generally plop down in a hammock to read a book. I’m not overwhelmed by the feeling that “I have to.” Oddly enough, with this approach, the results are not bad!

Irina is 62 years old, in June the neighbors go to her to admire the lush flowering of many rose bushes: “But I’m not a real rose grower, honestly! I just draw with my roses and clematis my fabulous garden, my paradise!” It seems to me that Tatyana and Irina are “free artists” or maybe “children in the sandbox” who are playing out their lost childhood games. And work is like a game for them.

Georgy Ivanovich is 87 years old, in his youth he lived in the village and was the only man in the family. He made a career in the military, in retirement he took up the cottage. “I built this house with my own hands, without helpers. Let it take a long time, but on your own! Now, of course, I won’t be able to dig a pit and lay bricks, but I’ll make the door to the shed in a way that not every carpenter can.” When age began to threaten the sense of wealth and self-respect, Georgy Ivanovich began to strengthen it in this way. With all the variety of lifestyles, my neighbors have one thing in common: they correctly identified their needs. And the cottage brings them joy.

Reason for dissatisfaction

But the needs met at the dacha are distorted and misunderstood both by the dacha residents themselves and by their households.

32-year-old Olga almost cries: “I don’t know what to do with my mother! She is tearing herself to the point of hypertension in this dacha, digs, waters, then rolls up a hundred cans of cucumbers and tortures us with pickles all winter! We don’t like them, but we don’t want to upset my mother with a refusal. ” Perhaps the mother does not need this plowing either, she wants to be useful and receive gratitude from the children. Maybe one day they themselves will come to the dacha, distract their mother from the beds with barbecue and walks and thank her for a wonderful vacation, and she will like it.

However, this number will not work with Sergey’s mother. Busy with two jobs, burdened by his family, 30-year-old Sergey complains reservedly: “Mom herself unceremoniously demands help, regardless of our time and affairs. You only hear: “bring it, take it away”, “come to dig”, “immediately take your grandson out of the stuffy city”, “come to help me sit with my grandson”. It is impossible to refuse, there will be a scandal and tears.

“The dacha here is not the cause of problems,” the psychologist believes, “but only a space in which personal and family problems manifest themselves. Without it, there would be other reasons for mutual discontent.” In this case, it is better to deal with the underlying causes.

natural “I”

Psychologists study such a phenomenon as natural identity. It means our ability to perceive ourselves as a biological being, says Sofya Nartova-Bochaver: “Some develop it with the help of hiking, horseback, kayaking trips, others in the country. The summer resident coordinates his activities with the weather and the change of seasons: he waters in the hot season, prepares plantings for wintering in the fall, and seedlings in the spring. The cyclic nature of natural phenomena becomes a metaphor for life, setting us up for the expediency of change. Such cooperation with nature is psychotherapeutic: we feel like a part of a single stream of Life, we become more harmonious and wise.”

green hand

This expression means special luck, excellent results without global knowledge and work – “whatever you poke, everything will grow.” This phenomenon has an explanation: luck accompanies those who are passionate about their work and enjoy the process, the psychologist believes. Such a gardener is focused on the result, but at the same time he does not have doubts. In such a calm state, we are more attentive and observant, we absorb more information, which then returns in the form of intuition. A gardener with a “green hand” intuitively walks around a plant in exactly the best way. This expression has taken root in our vocabulary, and came from European languages.

But the Russian “dacha” is not translated into other languages, it is only written in Latin. In Germany, today the garden plot is even called “datche” – the name came from the GDR. Usually it is small, on average three acres, and no more than a quarter of the entire area is allocated for planting. And this is not the property of the user – more often it is rented, as in France. Despite the strict regulations: what can be planted, what cannot be planted, the need to bring water with you and electricity from the battery – potential tenants line up. So, despite the historical originality of the national phenomenon called “dacha”, today we seem to be in the global trend.