Summer reveals our sensuality

Finally summer! We have been waiting for it for such a long time… We passionately dreamed about the vacation – and of course, about the passion with which we will spend it. Kisses at dawn, hugs by the sea, a voluptuous siesta… We release our body like a beast from a cramped cage, and we feel desire awakening in us. “Every time on vacation we have sex several times a day, like 15 years ago, at the beginning of our romance,” admits 38-year-old Anna. “The rest of the year it happens infrequently, at most twice a month.” Does sex drive grow with the temperature outside? “We remain part of nature,” confirms sexologist Irina Panyukova, “and the inhabitants of the metropolis are subject to the same general biological cycles. There are species of animals in which, with a short day, the genital organs even decrease and the corresponding reactions disappear, and with a long day they are restored. People are also affected by the length of daylight hours. In addition, in the summer we spend more time outdoors, moving, smelling a lot, enjoying the sight of greenery – all our senses are activated, and this affects our sexuality.

Light and heat are allies of sensuality

People, like animals, are sensitive to changes in light and heat. “Lack of sunlight causes a decrease in serotonin levels,” explains sexologist Jean-Roger Dintrans, “because of this, seasonal depressions and recessions of desire occur.” Thus, the reason for our coldness in winter may not be the loss of interest in a loved one, but the manifestation of seasonal “animal” behavior. And there is hope that the mood will change along with the change of season.

On fine days, we shed several layers of clothing. Women wear short skirts, open their arms and neck. 32-year-old Anton loves summer: “While I was single, I liked to look at the girls passing by, sitting on the terrace of the cafe. Every evening my friends and I spent hours doing this activity. Today I wisely go home, but my wife and I nights in June are much hotter than in January.

However, libido is affected not only by the change of seasons and fluctuations in light. Our sex life mostly suffers from the hustle and bustle of city life.

Idleness is a natural aphrodisiac

“In a state of stress, desire is noticeably reduced and can completely disappear,” explains Irina Panyukova. “The reason is that sex is not necessary for our survival—as important as it is. In other words, you don’t die without sex. Therefore, when we force our body to work for wear and tear, the need for sex fades away so that we have enough energy for other processes. In order to have a desire, you need to regain your strength.

Thus vacations, whether winter or summer, and the idleness they imply, are often the best aphrodisiac. We forget endless meetings, the fear of being late with a report, explanations with superiors – and we remember that the world has the sea and the sun, mountains and gardens. Pleasant fatigue after swimming and walking in the fresh air is a good prologue to love games. But restoration of strength is not the only condition for intimacy. “Sometimes my clients complain about problems in the intimate sphere,” says Elena Ulitova, a family psychologist, “and when I start asking them, it turns out that they just don’t know each other very well, they don’t understand their partner’s tastes and habits well, because they spend little time together and don’t pay enough attention to each other. Vacation provides us with this opportunity – to take care not only of ourselves, but also of each other. We have more free time to show tenderness and care, compose compliments, make pleasant surprises and enjoy beautiful views together. “If partners, thanks to a joint trip, regain mutual interest and attraction, they have excellent chances to keep their couple and develop relationships,” continues Elena Ulitova. However, a vacation can also reveal problems that cannot be attributed to everyday stress.

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• Summer awakens our senses

Work overload is a problem, not an excuse

“If a couple fails to establish a relationship, despite favorable conditions, they will have to admit that the lack of intimacy is due to some deeper reasons,” continues the family psychologist. “The obstacles that the partners cited in their daily lives – like things to do, workload – might just be a cop-out.” 40-year-old Inna realized this last summer. “By that time, Sergei and I had not had sex for several months. He either immediately fell asleep, complaining of fatigue, or, on the contrary, worked late with papers, and I fell into a dream without waiting for him. I consoled myself with the fact that he had a tense situation in the company and that he had to wait for his vacation. But when we were alone in a hotel on the Cote d’Azur and for three days there was not a shadow of intimacy between us, I realized that the situation was much more serious. In the end, I called him to a direct conversation, and he admitted that he himself did not really understand how he felt about our marriage. For Inna and Sergey, that vacation, instead of the expected return to youth, brought a discovery: they have problems that they had underestimated up to this point.

And yet, Jean-Roger Dintrans warns, we should not maniacally strive to “work out the prescribed” for the reason that we are on vacation: “There are no norms here. But the calls for pleasure, which are especially often heard from television screens and glossy pages on the eve of summer, seem to put additional pressure on partners. With sex it’s the same as with everything else: let’s do what we like.