Maternal instinct does not exist: some mothers are completely devoid of love or affection for children, says philosopher Michela Marzano.
In an era of crisis, when our well-being – and with it the picture of the world – hangs in the balance, there are axioms that we do not want to give up for anything. Among them is the belief that a mother feels only love for her children. Any mother, thanks to her “maternal instinct”, is by definition “one” with her child.
However, this is only a myth. After all, what used to be called “maternal instinct”, that is, unconditional and selfless love, does not exist. In any case, in the sense of an innate instinct, inscribed in the genes of the mother. Like any feeling, attachment to children depends on the personal history of each woman. Love for children is characterized by ambivalence: it is often very strong, but sometimes it turns into hatred. It is worth considering whether some mothers do not have it at all.
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For example, Elzbieta Plakowska, a 40-year-old Polish woman who lived in Illinois (USA), killed her 7-year-old son with a knife, and then took the life of a 5-year-old baby Olivia, whom she regularly looked after. When the police found a woman with bloody hands at the crime scene, she admitted that she wanted to take revenge on her husband, who is too rarely at home.
“I wanted him to suffer the way I suffer,” she told the prosecutor. But can this barbaric act be explained by mere revenge? The woman talks about what happened calmly, as if nothing had happened.
She told the children to kneel down and pray because they would “soon see paradise” and afterward stabbed them several times despite their pleas. Without pity. Without mercy. Without compassion. Without all these “virtues” that people have consistently attributed to women for centuries, it is as if there is an ontological difference between a woman who is gentle and loving by nature, and a man who is more cruel and prone to violence, again by nature.
This incident is reminiscent of the Greek legend of Medea. In the tragedy of Euripides, Medea killed two of her children in order to take revenge on Jason who left her. As she says in her famous monologue, “I can’t look at my sons anymore. I am overcome by adversity. I know what crimes I will commit, but my anger is stronger than my will, and it is anger that brings mortals the greatest misfortune. She knows very well what she is doing. But her anger at Jason is much stronger than her motherly love.
Therefore, it is better to stop believing that women are by nature softer, kinder, more merciful than men. They are human and therefore full of contradictions. And, although they are often ready to sacrifice themselves for the sake of children, they can also sacrifice them to their passions.
Michela Marzano – Italian politician and philosopher, professor at the University of Paris V, regular contributor to the newspaper La Repubblica. Her research includes the concept of the body in contemporary culture.