In the pursuit of achievement, many of us are forced to postpone the simple pleasures of life for the future, to sacrifice them for the sake of what cannot be achieved at the cost of sacrifice. Why does happiness lead to success and not vice versa?
We all have probably read the success stories of prominent people more than once and we can easily remember what unites them. Come on, try it yourself. What comes to your mind? That’s right – inhuman tension, sleepless nights, obsession with work, complete disregard for the interests of loved ones, children, parents, and so on. Are you ready to pay such a price for the success of your own endeavors? If not, then you are most likely right. And if yes, then think carefully. Because, most likely, having paid this price, you will find yourself further from success than you expected.
Tension and efficiency are not synonyms
This is the main conclusion of the book by psychologist Stanford University (USA) Emma Seppala “The Happiness Track”. In her work, she summarized the results of many recent studies, as well as her own experience of cooperation with business structures that rigidly orientate employees towards achieving success. “It is becoming more and more common to think that the source of happiness is success,” writes Emma Seppala. “And that encourages many to give up the opportunity to feel happy today for the ghostly bonuses of tomorrow. But in the pursuit of future happiness, people are more likely to achieve emotional burnout than any important results.
Teeth clenched in inhuman tension is not a guarantee of future success and happiness. Moreover, this is not even a guarantee of successful and effective work today. Research shows that people who feel happy are more productive, find creative and innovative solutions to complex problems faster, stay focused better, and get less tired. If they need outside support, then they find it much easier than those who are too focused on the pursuit of success.
In summary, Emma Seppala unequivocally states that the formula “success leads to happiness” is turned on its head. And it’s time to return it to its normal position, reversing cause and effect. It is happiness that leads to success, and attempts to sacrifice it every day do not threaten anything good. It is worth saying that the same idea was previously expressed by many famous positive psychologists, for example, Shawn Akor, whose bright (and very funny!) lecture at the TED conference on this topic has collected more than 12 million views on YouTube.
The main advice given by Emma Seppala is that we should all be kinder and more tolerant of ourselves. This can be achieved with simple solutions that have been described many times by positive psychologists, but are still ignored by those who continue to believe that happiness comes only after success. Don’t scold yourself. And if something doesn’t work out, then instead of “I’m an idiot!” say better: “Today was not my best day, but this happens to everyone, it’s okay.”
If the tension is too great, write yourself a letter. Simple and sympathetic, the kind you would write to your best friend in a difficult situation. And do not forget to thank and praise yourself even for minor achievements. All this, according to psychologists, literally reprograms the brain, forcing it to focus on the brighter sides of life. And it makes us happy – and therefore successful.
But how in this case to be with great people, their sufferings and self-denial? The explanation may sound offensive to their loved ones, children and parents, but it probably consists of this. Only by forgetting about everything except their own business, devoting sleepless nights to work and exhausting all their strength, they, great people, felt truly happy. Well, that happens too.