Contents
Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer, two American business school professors, have long studied the rules of negotiation. They conducted many experiments in which participants pretend to be a buyer and a seller (or a job seeker and an employer) and achieve better conditions for themselves, prices, salaries, bonuses …
Here are some tips from Adam Galinsky and Maurice Schweitzer’s new book Friend&Foe: When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both. and how to succeed in both). Try to follow these rules so that negotiating ceases to seem like something incomprehensible.
It’s better to meet face to face
A face-to-face meeting helps strengthen relationships and build trust. However, this is only true if your relationship is at least partly based on cooperation. When there is fierce competition between people, meeting face to face can only increase their dislike for each other. Perhaps, in this case, it is worth limiting the correspondence by e-mail.
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Imitate the interlocutor
By imitating the other person’s body language (but not in a very obvious way), you come across as a cooperative and trustworthy person. Research by the authors of the book shows that subtle mimicry (imitation) helps to reach an agreement that is beneficial for both partners, but still more beneficial for the “imitator”. Other experiments show that imitating a partner’s language style in email correspondence has a similar effect. Emoticons can be used if the partner sets them himself.
Remember the difference between empathy and understanding
By trying to understand what is going on in the other person’s mind, you are more likely to come up with a proposal that suits them or come up with an out-of-the-ordinary idea that meets your common interests. When the participants in the experiments were asked to mentally take the position of a partner during negotiations, they ended up achieving greater benefits for everyone, and especially for themselves. Another thing is empathy, that is, empathy for another. If you actively try to empathize with your negotiating partner, you may be giving in too much.
Still show empathy
Despite the above, it is not worth completely suppressing empathy. In a competitive situation, trying to put ourselves in the place of the interlocutor, we are more likely to assume that he will behave aggressively, and we will try to prevent his attack by showing aggression first. In such a situation, empathy will help smooth the edges.
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Make an offer first
Most studies show that making the first offer is beneficial. This is where the so-called anchoring effect comes into play. When a person estimates something approximately (for example, cost), he involuntarily focuses on the assessment that he met first. Having demanded a large amount, you involuntarily “tie” the interlocutor to the named figure. However, if you don’t know at all what the partner was originally counting on, then you can make a big mistake by making an offer. Therefore, the authors of the book recommend that at least approximately find out his intentions with the help of leading questions, and then already name his price.
Don’t limit yourself
Sometimes just asking is enough to get what you want. Many are afraid to ask too much and offend a partner or ruin a deal. However, the authors found that most people are asking for too little. Having asked for a lot (of course, without reaching the point of absurdity), we “tie” the partner to this figure, and leave ourselves a lot of room for maneuver. Then you can start to give in a little, so you show that you can negotiate. This can also help your partner “save face” – after all, he was able to persuade you to more favorable terms for him.
Give exact numbers
When you name the exact price, you give the impression of a knowledgeable person and more reliably “tie” the interlocutor to this figure. If you’re asking for, say, $10 for a used car, that figure may seem unreasonable—maybe you’d be willing to sell for $8. But if you name, for example, the amount of $ 9550, it will be more difficult for the buyer to try to bring down the price.
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Offer multiple options
If there are several subjects of negotiations – for example, salary, number of vacation days and additional bonuses, make the interlocutor two different offers that are actually equally valuable to you. This way you can achieve the best conditions for yourself, while showing that you are a flexible and accommodating person. The authors’ research has shown that this technique does indeed lead to better deal terms.
Be a “caring mother”
Initiative men are called confident, but women are often called harsh or rude. A woman who stubbornly insists on her own can provoke a negative reaction from her partner. But if she says that she is fighting not for herself, but, say, for the sake of her department or family, then she can behave no less persistently than a man, without causing rejection of the interlocutor. Moreover, in such cases persistence is even expected.
Don’t get too excited
Even if you managed to achieve everything that you wanted, do not show your joy too clearly – it may seem to your partner that he received less from you than he could. Keep your emotions to yourself.