Student experience determines our character?

What period of your life was the brightest? I conducted a survey among Russian top managers on this topic, and the vast majority answered that the most memorable years were students. Studying at the institute — despite the fact that very little time separates the institute from the school — is very different from the school. This is a time of active development in three key vectors:

1. Social. The student learns to communicate not only with «their own kind», as at school, but with a wide, diverse world: people of different cultures, ages, ranks. He creates his unique image in the eyes of others and gains authority.

2. Professional. The student does not yet understand what the essence of his future profession is, even if he consciously chooses it. The institute allows you to get in touch with the profession much closer, to evaluate: “mine is not mine”.

3. Personal. The student is faced with life’s trials, goes to a different level of responsibility. He begins to get to know himself more deeply, to understand his unique features, to realize his own exclusivity and value — already as an independent, independent person, and not just a diligent student or beloved son. But not every student. Some prefer anything but development and growth. And there are still “eternal students” who are prevented by a neurotic fear of the future from successfully completing their studies.

We always have a dilemma: change or stay the same, endure or experiment. Strong and ambitious individuals choose change. Even if it requires effort and will. Neurotics prefer immutability, sometimes associated with painful experiences.

Working with successful top managers, I recorded their memories of significant transformations that happened to them during their student days.

From «be like everyone else» to your own «I»

The new communication environment requires adaptation. If at school you have to be like everyone else, a diligent student, then in a higher educational institution everything is different.

The presence of one’s own position, readiness to express oneself, boldness of judgments is encouraged and cultivated. Compared to school, communication among students is much more complex and broader.

For extroverts, that is, people who are naturally prone to intense communication, such adaptation is usually easy. And from introverts (people who are closed, prone to loneliness and a chamber, familiar circle of friends), changing and expanding the social environment requires effort.

“Since childhood, I have been a quiet, modest, diligent boy,” the general director of a large Russian retail chain shares his memories. — I graduated from school with a gold medal and came to study in Moscow from a small Siberian city. Other students looked confident, fashionable, «metropolitan».

For the first few weeks, I felt terrible, a poorly dressed provincial who was looked down upon. But I was proud and began to fight for a worthy place in the faculty. I decided to overcome my fear of new people. In addition to studying, I daily and persistently solved the most difficult communication tasks — I was looking for a common language with those who seemed interesting to me. Gained prestige. And with each new acquaintance he communicated in his own way. With one I was looking for common topics, with another I rather listened, with a third I argued heatedly.

I felt the mood. Do not climb when it was inappropriate. And he came when the moment was the best. He even taught Spanish in the evenings to please a talented Colombian classmate.

Thanks to my activity, I become noticeable. He spoke at student conferences, defended his opinion at seminars. Annoyed some. One girl called me «village importunate donkey», I still remember. But over time, I ennobled my provincial appearance, won the accent, found useful contacts.

That same Colombian is now my business partner in Latin America. Are you asking how I became a successful negotiator? At the institute. Overcoming complexes, fighting for the right to be equal and even better.

From obedience to self-organization

The student lives simply — his whole life is scheduled. But, having become a student, yesterday’s schoolboy finds himself in a completely different situation. No one monitors his progress, the student himself is forced to plan his time: study, part-time work, preparation for exams. And not everyone is capable of operational self-organization.

“I am by nature a disorganized person,” says the creative director of a well-known advertising agency. “I first realized this at university. I was expelled in disgrace for poor academic performance after the second semester.

This terrible experience was not in vain: it allowed me to get to know myself more deeply and understand the degree of my own responsibility for what is happening to you. But then I could not fix anything. The next year I entered the correspondence course, my parents insisted.

Now I know that in order for me to do everything on time, I need tight frames, clearly defined deadlines, regular reminders. In general, I live like this — at work there is a secretary and an assistant, and at home — a strict wife.

I was lucky, I still found the strength to continue my studies. And I was lucky with the work — I’m happy that I’m doing what I love now.

From childhood to personal maturity

Student time usually accounts for the stage of identification of the individual and the integration of social roles. Young people have a need to combine all their roles (children, students, lovers, comrades, friends …) into a single whole, comprehend them, connect them with the past and project them into the future.

But the main engine of growing up is experience, difficult situations in which decisions must be made. Sometimes already at the institute we have to make our moral choice.

I was told more than once how representatives of the faculty administration asked students to retell what classmates say in an informal setting … Such dilemmas make you think, grow up, or, conversely, sign your own weakness.

I was once asked to conduct an in-depth psychological assessment of a candidate for the position of CFO in a large manufacturing company.

Usually top management are people who have worked for decades at specialized enterprises, and I did not expect to see a young man. He was 30 years old, no more. However, after talking with him, I appreciated his maturity.

He looked at the world very soberly, was completely devoid of illusions, but not disappointed. He knew how to stand up for himself, but without too much pressure. He behaved affably, but with dignity, like a man who knows his own worth. Here’s what he said.

“I studied at the institute in the early 90s. There was nothing, there was no money. Parents could not help financially. Once I spoke on the phone with my mother, she said sadly: «You are no longer a child.» And I began to earn extra money, traded, «shuttle», did not shun any work. I got into difficult situations, I was deceived, set up, forced to pay non-existent debts.

Once, when I went to Turkey for goods, money and documents were stolen. These difficult stories continued, but at some point I realized that everything depends only on myself, and I said to myself: «Enough, I’m not a child.»

I created my own view of each situation, predicted possible problems and their solutions. Gradually I learned to negotiate, to take a hit, to fight back. Calmly explained to others his decisions and actions. Defended their rights without violating others. And at the same time he continued to study at the institute. Those were tough years, but I had a ‘concentrated’ experience of growing up.»

From dream to understanding of professional purpose

What was fun at school is no longer relevant. The goal (admission to the institute) has been achieved. There is devastation, annoyance and even disappointment: was this what I was striving for?

Career development specialists have described the phenomenon of «reverse perspective». Its essence is that long-term life goals are defined (I want to become a real professional or a successful leader), but specific plans on the way to the goal are unclear.

This phenomenon is quite common among undergraduate students. They see a bright professional future, but have no idea how to achieve it.

There are several ways to «get into the profession»: a bright, motivating dream of the future, deep immersion in academic subjects (knowledge always contributes to the development of interest), the development of scientific topics that are interesting for the student, the presence of a living environment — enthusiastic and captivating teachers, classmates.

“I entered the same institute where my parents studied,” one of the leaders of the Rosatom corporation shares his memories. — I didn’t really dream of becoming a physicist, but I didn’t resist either.

The first course of MEPhI is general education subjects. I did not understand why, instead of immersing myself in a specialty, I had to learn the formulas again, as in school. It was pretty boring, I was on the verge of leaving the institute.

In my second year, it seemed to me that I made a mistake with the choice. Special items appeared, but I didn’t care. Until I met one teacher who managed to inspire me.

We went with him to objects, watched what the graduates of our institute were doing. This teacher became my scientific adviser and mentor in life.

And then there was no more enthusiastic student than me in the whole institute. I studied excellently, finished graduate school, defended my thesis. So one meeting with a wonderful scientist changed my attitude to the profession.”

From managing yourself to managing others

A picture familiar to everyone is a group of children playing in the yard, one cheerfully commands: “You get up here, you do it,” or: “That’s it, tired, we’ll play another game.”

But even born organizers need to develop their skills. Many leaders recall their first experience of serious people management, which took place during their student days.

Here is the story of the head of one of the state committees, a successful leader-organizer.

“In the summer of my second year, I ended up in a construction team. And I was quickly promoted to the top. Under my supervision were students and about fifteen local hard workers. With the students, the main thing was to wake them up in the morning for work.

And the real problems were with the local workers. They were noticeably older, they had their own world, their own language, their own ideas about the work ethic. They were ready to obey, but not to someone whom they themselves did not appoint.

They boycotted my instructions, did what they saw fit. I persuaded, asked, quarreled, shouted, demanded — all to no avail. At the end of the month, they strongly framed me with money, then they beat me. It was a very harsh school of management.

Over time, I realized that in order to successfully manage people, you need to gain authority and personal status. I realized that I need to communicate a lot with people, regardless of my personal preferences, to enter their world: to explore their interests, needs, desires.

It is necessary to encourage for the result, and it is also necessary to punish — but only for the deed. All these wisdoms I found by the end of the summer. And I remember it for the rest of my life.»