Establish total control or give complete freedom? Keep a tight rein or become a girlfriend? Finding the golden mean in raising children is not easy. But the researchers believe that the moderate severity of the mother will benefit the daughter.
Did your mother bring you up in strictness? You are probably also very demanding of children. Many condemn this method of parenting, but what if they are wrong? Perhaps it is better to raise children in severity? It seems to you that all you will achieve with intransigence is to see how a teenager slams the bedroom door in his face. But researchers believe that there are many more positive results.
A group of specialists from the University of Essex, led by Dr. Erica R. Ramirez, conducted a study among 15 girls aged 13-14. It turned out that teenagers who have domineering mothers feel more confident. They have enough emotional maturity to successfully graduate from college, find a prestigious job and achieve success.
They note that in girls who are raised by strict mothers, early pregnancy occurs 4 times less often. Early pregnancy often becomes an obstacle to success. Girls have to drop out of school and take on low-paying jobs and rarely make a career out of it.
Girls who are kept in strictness:
- go to college more often;
- less likely to become pregnant during adolescence;
- almost never stay in a low-paid job;
- rarely remain unemployed for a long time.
It turns out that parents who set the bar high and demand discipline give their children more benefit than those who provide freedom.
What severity is good?
This question is asked by all parents. If children are brought up too harshly, they step back, begin to lie, because they are afraid to tell the truth. This happens when parents lose their temper and demand that the child be perfect, insist on unquestioning obedience, or shame in the presence of strangers. Authoritarianism rests on fear, authority – on a combination of high standards, open communication and parental affection. Do you understand the difference?
Parental severity is the line between authoritarian style and condescension
When parents indulge, children rarely experience disappointment and sadness and subsequently do not know how to endure them, are unable to manage themselves and build personal boundaries. Perhaps a good parental strictness is the line between an authoritarian style and condescension. A healthy balance, where firm authority and gentle sympathy coexist.
Relationships between parents and children develop in different ways, each case is unique, but strictness has many advantages. Do not be angry with a mother who does not give a descent, she tries to help in finding the right path in life. If you are a parent yourself, think about parenting methods and choose what is best for the child.
Source: gottadootherightthing.com