Stress: Reduce or Eliminate?

Cramps in the stomach, dry throat, insomnia — all this indicates physical and nervous tension. You are under pressure from obligations, you are afraid of not being able to cope with important tasks, something or someone threatens your well-being, you feel vulnerable … In a word, you are stressed. How to help yourself?

Determine your stress level

Here is a very simple test. Retire to a quiet place, close your eyes and listen to yourself. Try to rate your stress level on a scale of 1 to 10. After trying different ways to reduce stress, test yourself again to see if they work for you.

Stress triggers

Options can be very different. Based on my experience and many years of practice, the most common are:

• External pressure associated with lack of time, money, care, support.
• An excess of time, money or something else, if we feel that we are not able to manage it.
• Something new in our life path.
• Threat to health, physical safety or emotional balance: illness, loss, failure.
• The need to do what seems too difficult.
• The suffering of a loved one — a spouse, a child, a friend.
• Doubts associated with the uncertainty of the situation (will I get married, will it come to a divorce, will I go to university, will I pass the exam).

Practicing Mindfulness to Reduce Stress

“If I was asked to choose one single way to deal with stress, I would name the practice of mindfulness,” writes one of the leading experts on this topic, Melanie Greenberg, in the book The Resilient Brain.

Indeed, it is a very effective way to restore balance when you find yourself in the grip of stress. In particular, Greenberg recommends such techniques as:

• Introspection. Ask yourself, “Am I exacerbating stress with guilt or perfectionism?”
• Thanks. Ask yourself, “What am I grateful for?” This technique sometimes has a magical effect.
• Body care. Good sleep, a healthy diet, and exercise are a very serious counter to stress.

Fight the cause, not the effects

In my opinion, the best way to get rid of stress is to solve the problem that is causing it. In this way we destroy the roots of stress. Here’s what you need to do.

1. Define the problem. Stress, like anxiety, is usually an indicator that you are aware of a problem but not focused on solving it. By focusing on it, you start the process of finding a solution. For example, you might say to yourself, “I’m stressed because I have too much to do and I don’t have time.”

2. Clarify what exactly is bothering you. To do this, complete the sentence: “What worries me most about this is …” For example, you can say or write: “Most worries me that I will not have time to do something important: prepare a report, finish repairs in the kitchen before the relatives arrive, buy a new sofa on which they will sleep.

3. Make a plan of action. Now you are ready to look for a solution to the problem. Make a plan of action taking into account all the upcoming cases. Indicate approximate deadlines for each of the tasks — clarity will bring you relief. Panic (“How can I do it all?!”) will be replaced by confidence (“I can do it all!”).

This example only demonstrates the essence of the three-step approach. In many cases, the answers and solutions will not be obvious at all and will require deeper thinking and an extraordinary, creative approach.

Let’s say that stress is caused by the fact that the boss constantly criticizes you for mistakes and does not notice your achievements. How to make sure that he does not poison your every working day with criticism? What can you do to feel better at work? Move to another department? Change job? Work with the imagination: for example, use the well-known trick, imagining yourself huge and the boss tiny?

Look at the situation from the other side: maybe it’s good that the boss gives you feedback — thus he helps you correct shortcomings and grow professionally? Or maybe you should look among your colleagues for an ally who will help you see the grumpy boss in a funny light? Consider all the possibilities that come to mind, choose the appropriate option and go for it!

You don’t have to endure stress. Stress is a warning signal that says: “Attention! Something in life needs to be changed. Take care of youself!»

About the author: Susan Heitler is a clinical psychologist, author of several books, and blogger.