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We cannot erase stress from life, but we can change the angle of view and learn to evaluate what is happening from different perspectives. Psychotherapists Sue Cowan-Jenssen and Frank Lipman (Sue Cowan-Jenssen, Frank Lipman), clinical psychologist Cecilia Felice (Cecilia d`Felice) share simple tips for managing stress.
In stress, we perceive each task as a matter of life and death and do not have time to understand whether it is really important now, whether there is an easier way to solve it. Therefore, the main step out of the vicious circle of constant stress is to learn to distance yourself from stress, that is, to look at the situation from different angles calmly, without a heart. Not all problems require an urgent solution. Not all cases need your participation. Train yourself to put problems second to your desires.
1. Make a list of your own desires. What have you always wanted to do but have been putting off? Make it a rule to regularly realize each of your desires – once a month, quarterly, or every six months. Go to a concert, art class, or tour that you’ve been dreaming about for a long time. This will fill your life with pleasure, and this is one of the main antidotes for stress.
2. Meditation techniques help you become aware of your presence here and now, in a specific day and place. Mindfulness is not mind control, but the ability to be attentive to yourself and what is happening around. In a moment of particularly intense stress, try to focus on your breathing and calmly observe the thoughts that come to mind. Try to give a rating and a title to each thought that pops up: “This is my concern”, “This is what I regret.” Imagine that negative thoughts are clouds in the sky that float away with each of your conscious exhalations, clearing a blue endless sky of possibilities for you. The more often you clear your mind of dead-end thoughts going around in a circle, the more space you free up for constructive creativity.
3. Think about the rules you have made your life: what are they based on? What makes you think that you will lose your job if you make one mistake, or that your loved one will leave you if you don’t lose weight? What is behind your constant pursuit of the ideal?
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4. Don’t take on too much. The burden of petty worries can be unbearable for one – it is much easier to cope with it together. Involve loved ones in household chores: for example, walking the dog, going for bread, or taking out the trash is something even children can do.
5. Use perfectionism to your advantage. Are you good at planning your day? Well, plan some time for rest in it. Soberly assess your capabilities and take your own needs and health seriously. Remember that it is much easier to prevent stress than to deal with its consequences later.
6. Turn off all electronic devices (phone, computer) when you come home. Take a break from the bustle of work and urgent matters – go for a walk with your loved ones before going to bed to relax, breathe fresh air and relieve stress. In addition, this is a great opportunity to spend time with those who are dear to you, exchange news and support each other.
7. If you play sports, give up training for wear. If you are not a fitness enthusiast, it’s time to start – this is one of the most effective ways to neutralize stress. Distribute the load so that the exercises energize, and do not take away vitality. For example, alternate a minute of intensive walking with three minutes of a calm step, and so on for half an hour.
8. During the working day, take a few breaks: close your eyes for a couple of minutes and meditate or go for a short walk, listen to relaxing music. If you can’t eliminate the causes of stress, try to organize your day so that stress doesn’t build up.
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9. Explore your limits – what you can do and what is beyond your capabilities; How many assignments can you take on, and what should you refuse. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to draw this line. For example, if your aging parents need your help – what exactly should it be expressed in? Focus on your inner voice and remember that you will not be able to help anyone (at home or at work) if you bring yourself to exhaustion under the influence of stress.
10. We all have the right to say no. We don’t owe anyone – to be the most responsible, smart, kind and helpful 100% of our time. We have the right to fatigue, blues and irritation. Concentrate on what you have done, and not on what you did not have time to do – do not forget to celebrate your successes and achievements, even the smallest ones. This foundation builds your self-esteem and your ability to protect yourself from stress.